How can I convince myself that my friends don't hate me? I have this irrational fear that they actually hate me.

If they actually hated you they would tell you, avoid you ect. If they haven’t done these things assure yourself. You know you are worthy of friendship, because you are a good person. Make a list of good reasons your friends have to like you. Make another list of reasons why your friends might hate you. Use your intelligence and cross off any negative irrational responses. Hopefully the longer list will be all the good reasons full of facts that may help you convince yourself. If not, try again except making a list of only positive reasons that prove you’re a likable person and worthy of friendship. So that there isn’t anyway your friends could possibly hate you.

I had a similar struggle when I was slightly younger. I am twenty years old now and have found that the best way of dealing with this feeling is to try and think very rationally. Really strip this feeling down to the basics. If your friends hated you or didn't like you, why would they want to be your friend? No one is forcing them to be around you and as easy as it is to worry about this, you have to try and remain rational about the feeling. So next time you're anxious about this, ask yourself, What would they gain from being around a friend they 'hate'?

Though it might sound silly, talk to them. Tell them how you feel because all your friends care about you, and will try and persuade you into thinking so. If you feel like they hate you, look at the way they behave around you and how they behave around their other friends. You could, if you still think they hate you, confront them. If they really cared about you they would try and convince that they don’t help. Obviously this can be different for different people, so just try and find a way to prove to yourself that they care about you.

Many people feel insecure about the way others perceive them. It seems like you doubt your friends’ true feelings towards you. Rather than trying to convince yourself that they don’t hate you however, I think you can try just trusting yourself. It sounds cliché, but life does get slightly more straight-forward if you just be who you are, do what you want to do. You’ll see naturally the reactions of other people. Don’t worry if other people hate you, because in your life, you’re the one that matters the most. Of course, it’s natural to want to be liked by others and worry that they don’t. I personally have felt that way before, but I started to develop a mindset of: “If they hate me, then they hate me! There’s nothing I can do and there’s nothing I have to do.” I started to trust myself and my friends more. I didn’t doubt everything that I did, and I wasn’t constantly trying to make the decision that I felt like would make people like me. To be honest, changing this kind of mindset is hard, and it’s a long path. The most important thing though, no matter what you decide to do, is to always be your own best friend.

It is easy to get in your mind and feel like that, but you have to remember how you are even friends in the first place. Think about what brought you together and what things you have done for each other to allow for a a healthy friendship in the first place. There are plenty of reasons people become friends, you just bring those to your mind and think of what parts of your friends make you feel happy as well. What is it about you that you can see they clearly appreciate? Just be yourself that is who they fell in love with in the first place.

Fear of acceptance is a very normal feeling to have. Also in another hand what makes you who you are might be why they are your friends. Too be is by a great writer my also be not too. If they already accept you why want, when you already have it. If they are your friends then simply ask. If you don't then you may go unanswered, until you see you worried for all the wrong reasons. If not then simply ask your closest friend about your worries. I do not mean to seem proud, but I do know friends will tell you the truth even if it hurts.

When you aren't at the height of an emotional overwhelm/breakdown, try to ask yourself WHY you feel that way: "Why do I feel like my friends hate me?" ❌Importantly, make sure you DON'T answer that question by listing all the things that you think are wrong with you (ex. "they probably hate me because I feel like I'm annoying/needy/reserved/etc.", or "I am uglier than them so they probably hate me", "I dress differently so they probably hate me; "I like things that they don't like")... I say to avoid this because these are not provable, substantial, or rationale reasons why any normal human should hate you, especially a friend. ✅INSTEAD, answer that "why?" with real, provable instances that would indicate that they 'hate' you (ex. they literally told me they hated me, verbatim; I caught them talking behind my back; they bully me constantly; they said xyz about me and never apologized; etc.) ... 99% of the time you simply can't answer that question. And if you can't answer that question, it is very likely that your friends do not hate you. If you feel like your friends are using you, try to identify what they're using you for. Next, try to identify if they only reach out to you when they want that thing from you, or if its to hang out and spend genuine time with you.

I find that guesswork with your relationships can often lead to more harm than good, hands down the best way to know how someone feels about is to ask them. Until you do, that question may nag you in the back of your mind the whole time you're with them, and that may lead you to act differently with them, which might drive them away, and then you'll think you were right, when you actually weren't. Always ask, everything else is just pure guesswork, your friends might actually surprise you with how much they care about you, you just have to take that first step and ask.

Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. It was questioning everything said and seeing it as a personal threat. One way I was able to tone it down was taking a step back and recognizing that they are my friends and not my enemies. It was tough at first but it began to help in terms of not taking playful jokes and seeing them as personal attacks. Once you get over that first hump its clear waters from there. If its not, thats completely fine. We all function diffrently, I would then try and have a conversation describing my doubts and anxiety!

You can ask then if they hate you. Also you can see how they interact with you. Do they engage in conversation or are they focused on other things. Do they invite you to do things with them or talk with you often. If they do they most likely don't hate you. With irrational fears it can be hard to combat but small steps helpif you feel you donʻt matter to yourself, the people around you who you do matter too, yourself will think it is a lie. So first make sure you know you matter to yourself, and then ask if you matter to others.. Spend more time with them and make connections.

Everyone feels like this at some point within their lives, and just know you are not alone. Before you worry, think to yourself these three questions: 1.) Have they specifically told you they feel this way? 2.) Can you remember the last time they laughed at a joke, asked to hang out with you, said hi first, asked how you were, or shown care for you? If so, it is very unlikely that they hate you. 3.) If they really do hate you, why would they spend time with you, and be your friend? Just know you can always talk to them, and they do care

Having such thoughts is normal; I've had such fears for a good part of my life too. You must let yourself understand what friends are. They are people you hang out with, people you joke around with, and people you spill your darkest secrets to. If they are willing to take that step and spend all that time with you, I don't think they would hate you. If you ever feel that they are distant or wonder if you did something that upset them, talk to them and let them know your concerns. Most of the time it is paranoia, and their negative feelings aren't directed toward you. Communication is so important to avoid such misunderstandings and concerns.