How can I deal with separation anxiety?

49 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2016 at 7:01am
How can I deal with separation anxiety?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Kelly Horton, PsyD

Psychologist

Sometimes life can feel overwhelming due to depression or anxiety. I work with my clients in a nonjudgmental, supportive, way to find their voice and reclaim their lives.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 17th, 2014 7:23pm
It all depends on the person or thing you are being separated from. If possible, Skype, texting, instant messaging, or emailing is a fantastic resource to keep in touch and therefore minimize the effects of separation anxiety. Also it can be helpful to keep a countdown of the days/months until you see this person and or thing again. Unfortunately if you can neither keep in touch with the person/thing nor do you know when you can see them again it can be more difficult. I would encourage you to find activities to engage in such as clubs, sports, or simply going out with friends. By staying active you are decreasing the amount of time you can think about the separation
Erynn
December 19th, 2014 4:20am
There are lots of ways to deal with anxiety. With separation, sometimes it really helps to distract yourself. There are many Big Distraction Lists online that can help you think of many ideas - you may want to try several. Grounding Techniques can help whenever you start to feel Really overwhelmed by an emotion. But, it's also important to talk about your emotions and/or write about them. Being able to understand why you are anxious (even if it's irrational) can help you to address your fears and learn ways to deal with the anxiety. Breathing and mindfulness may also be of use to you.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2014 9:13pm
Remember that whoever you are separated from will see you once again, and they are not abandoning you for good.
Savana13
January 8th, 2015 1:58am
Expose yourself to it slowly and it will go away slowly the more you face it and desensitize yourself to it.
LiveToLetYouShine
September 16th, 2014 2:54am
I've had a lot of troubles with separation anxiety because I have abandonment issues. Here are some things that help me: *Write a letter to the person you're missing or anxious to be away from. Sending it is entirely optional! *Distract yourself! My favorite thing is to watch something on Netflix, but it can be as simple as doing your homework. :) *Hang out with some other friends, some people who will distract you from the anxiety of that one person or thing you're wanting to see the most. *This is one of the less healthy alternatives, but if it comes down to it, attach yourself to something else. Something you can always have with you. Like a keychain, a piece of jewelry, or a stuffed animal.It could be a way to relieve the stress with an alternative.
Petrigore
September 25th, 2014 12:38am
The best way is to keep busy! It's hard, but try to do something that occupies your mind and time. The separation will go by much faster if you're not watching the clock.
Wes2
November 4th, 2014 8:47am
We live in a wonderful time! People in the 1800's would be out of luck. You have phone, text, Facebook, and Skype! But beyond that, take the separation as an opportunity to better define yourself and find outside interests. No one person should be solely defined by another person: partner, friend, or otherwise. Surround yourself with supportive peers and engaging hobbies, and make sure to live your life while the person you care so much about is away. If you can't, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship to that person.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2014 2:35am
The most important thing for me was getting help. After meeting with my therapist, I felt fantastic!
RalphBG
December 7th, 2014 10:09am
You can deal wit it by telling yourself that you're okay and tell yourself positive things. Focus on everything positive in your life. You could do some distractions, so he or she is off your mind for a while. Distractions can be music, reading, movies, socialising, anything you enjoy. I would also recommend meditation. That helps me a lot. :)
Blueangelz
December 17th, 2014 1:04am
Do something that you enjoy to get your mind off whoever you're separated from. Whether it's listening to music or watching TV, anything will help.
HopeLeadsToTheLight
December 24th, 2014 4:32pm
The first step to deal with anxiety is acceptance. Only after one has accepted the situation, they will be able to cope with it. The more one runs away from it, the harder it tries to catch up. After that one has accepted it, it becomes easy to indulge in hobbies that you like which further helps in keeping thoughts that cause anxiety away.
PerfectlyIncomplete
January 6th, 2015 6:41am
I deal with separation anxiety by placing my focus in the moment... where I'm at, my environment, what I'm doing.
Bcrystal818
May 2nd, 2015 3:43am
You can deal with separation anxiety by taking dry runs and practicing it before actually leaving that person.
Mimigloss
June 30th, 2015 5:19am
Try to do things that occupy your time! Do other things you like to do (hobbies) and set a certain block of time for this person.
PeacefulSolutions
August 11th, 2015 2:59am
Finding other ways of communication such as talking to them on the phone, or sending them notes, or just talking to other friends can help.
Blaine62
January 26th, 2016 8:49pm
It would depend on the severity of the problem. It may require therapy or possibly just by having a conversation with the person that you are having difficulty separating from
nlpinspiration
March 24th, 2016 8:01am
Anxiety is a fear from something what will happen in near future by the current activity. A fear is bad emotion which is created by the though. Changing the thoughts about some actitivity leads to reducing anxiety
Anonymous
April 6th, 2016 10:31am
Seperation anxiety is something you can work on through time. Find coping mechanisms and ways to stop these anxious feelings. Just remember that those who care about you will never leave forever.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 12:52pm
The real issue is spotting it. Separation anxiety at its extreme levels may be quite obvious. I was overwheled attached to a close relative to the point where I couldn't leave their side without experiencing a panic attack and i was suffering from separation anxiety. I was Excessively worried about losing these figures in my life. I had trouble sleeping. It felt like my quality of life was suffering dramatically. Finding help was very important to me , I hated these feelings.The first step was admitting that I had a problem, One step was going to my doctor and getting medication cause I knew I couldn't do it myself. I need the help !! I also found group support that we could discuss our problems with each other.I found I am getting better each day. It's not easy but it is getting easier.
colourfulmiragee
April 20th, 2016 10:31am
Reframe your thoughts as positive. Don't think negatively. If your partner is going on a business trip or your children are going away for higher studies rather than thinking you're all alone you can plan a good reunion.
Anglesey
April 29th, 2016 12:46pm
Just find something to keep your mind busy. Love yourself. Let this person go, another one will appear in your life very soon.
peacefulIris56
April 30th, 2016 4:04pm
Look at the things that have happened or that are happening in your relationship that would counter those feelings. Think of the times that your spouse has been with you and the attempts they made to feel you secure with your relationship. Separation anxiety can be stemming from other anxieties, so it is good to take care of other anxieties as well. Also, there are therapists and doctors that can help treat it.
AlonebutNotLonely
May 4th, 2016 12:42am
I attach myself to other objects. Most of the time, it works. Although many people get separation anxiety with a person, I usually get it with my phone. It calms me most of the time when I feel weird or insecure. So, when I am separated, I attach myself onto something meaningless (in most cases, it's a pencil.)
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 12:30pm
just keep your head up, think of the positives in your life and look forward to them. think of how you are going to see that person and how happy thhey will make you. just keep being positive
Anonymous
May 15th, 2016 8:43am
Focus on all the positive things I can look upto.. Spend most of the time doing something I love.. Like cooking, drawing or painting... When getting anxious...thinking on why I shouldn't and concentrate on recovering :)
Anonymous
May 18th, 2016 6:13pm
Take it one step at a time. Start small, and work your way up to being fully apart from them. I recommend starting with only a few minutes, and when the person, or place you are being separated from comes back, reward yourself. Exposure therapy usually helps with separation anxiety, I recommend that you look into it. :)
Link22
May 21st, 2016 7:10pm
Try carrying a picture of the person. Or talk to them on the phone. Make sure you don't think about them too much though. You can write to the person. You don't have to give the letters to them if you don't want to.
HereToHelpYou742
May 25th, 2016 12:59am
well dont go cold turkey and stop seeing the person. Take it day by day. Maybe start off with 30 mins to and hour and gradually increase the time each day during the day. Then after about maybe after a week in a half move to nights and do the same process you did during the day
fantasticSun
May 29th, 2016 7:56am
Focus on you and how you want too take care of your self. Focus on you and what you have now. Teach your self that you are not alone. You have youself.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 5:02pm
You should probably discuss with your partner the time when you can chat or skype if you can. Don't get too upset if your partner won't answer immediately because you just might not know if he or she is busy or not. Try to wind down and do things that will give you pleasant emotions and great experience.