How can I ever feel good enough to my girlfriend when I have anxiety and she is better than me in many ways?
Last Updated: 06/25/2018 at 8:46am
Stacey Kiger, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey
Top Rated Answers
One word. Love. Love, is what makes you go out of bed in the morning. Love, is what makes you, you! Always remember that she loves you for who you are, and not for who she want you to be.
I once wrote a poem and there is a line there which says, How do I tell someone I love that their presence is giving me anxiety? This line resonate with me because Im an introverted person and no matter how much I like someone, I like living in my personal bubble. Im comfortable in my own shell. And being with them makes me feel obligated to go out of my own way and change isn't something i look forward to. I guess it would take the biggest act on your part inorder to address this. Communication and self discovery. Work on your insecurities and maybe time will come when you no longer feel anxious.
Being a good boyfriend has nothing to do with being talented or being amazing at something. All that matters is that you care for her, and you know she cares about you.
Everyone is different. Better is only a relative term. It only sets boundaries. Everyone is good in their own way. Maybe that's why you click. You bring out the best in her and vica versa. It's hard to see it yourself, but others can see it. Anxiety is a shadow that we can't really get rid of, but we can make it smaller. You do what you're good at and don't compare yourself to others. By doing that, anxiety shrinks and everyone can be happy together.
What is felt and what is really the case is not everytime the same. It is mostly not the fact that some people are "more worth" but that negative thoughts drag the "value" down or make it less likely to do certain things which would be good to do in a relationship or in general.
It might help to talk to your girlfriend. Ask her what she enjoys about being with you and what she feels is fulfilling about the relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised by her answers, and that might elevate some of the worries causing you anxiety.
Your girlfriend surely doesn't think shes better than you in anyway and loves you for you! Anxiety can cause so many problems in a relationship dealing with a lot of communication problems. My best bet is to try decreasing your anxiety for your girlfriend, and for you! I used have anxiety attacks because I felt like everyone was watching every move I made. I got some help but first needed the correct mind set! I needed to say I can do this instead of doubting myself all the time. Your mind is constantly telling you things from the brain instead of your heart. Stop for a second and tell yourself, I am good enough!
During anxiety you may have a harder times in overcoming it because you're girlfriend may have more ideas on what to do when challenges like this happens and you may not have as many as they do.
Communication is absolutely key in relationships and the only way to work through any feeling you have in a relationship is to talk them out with your partner
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