How can I explain my anxiety to my partner?
Last Updated: 05/12/2020 at 3:39am
Cynthia Stocker, LCSW,
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My approach is direct, kind, honest & collaborative. My clients appreciate that I help them in a way that cuts through the jargon and gives clear explanations.
Top Rated Answers
Tell them how you're feeling using neutral language. If you need their support, ask for it. Be direct.
I try to make analogies to situations where most people would experience anxiety - like being cut off in traffic by a big rig. It's like that except for something way less obvious and non-life threatening. When it's not at that peak, it's like being afraid of that big rig jumping out at you, all the time. Hopefully that provides some frame of reference. I think being honest about your present mental state can also be really helpful so that they can understand how to identify when you're feeling anxious. Sometimes it's not so obvious.
Well, I find it hard explaining my anxiety the my family myself! I think others already know how anxiety feel like (unless of course they are super duper confident 110 percent all the time!), so I ask them for their experience about what worries them and what makes them nervous, then tell them that's how I feel a lot of the times but magnified when under certain situations.
Since anxiety is highly individual, I would think about a few things when explaining to your partner: What does anxiety feel like? What helps when you feel anxious? What situations cause anxiety? What are common thoughts you have when you are anxious, or that cause anxiety? Do you want to be touched when anxious? How can you best communicate with them when you are highly anxious? If your partner has little/no knowledge about mental illnesses, you may want to start by explaining that anxiety is not a choice or something you can just turn off, and that there are chemical aspects of it.
First of all, you have to understand your own anxiety. if you are at a point where you don't understand why you have it then you have more internal work to do. Once you figure this out, then together you can talk through it and come up with ways your partner can help. Tell them to think of situations where they get really scared or anxious, so that they could relate better!
You can describe how your feeling when your anxious and what sort of symptoms you feel, you could also ask your partner to have a read of the guide on anxiety on the 7 Cups Of Tea website
Go and simply tell them that you habe anxiety they will understand if you tell them times whem you acted like you shouldnt have...tell them you cant help it...and it would be nice if your partener would gelp you through the tym
just talk to them about what gives you anxiety show them how you feel when you go through that show them it is isnt just you being scared
Anxiety and especially panic attacks can be very difficult to control. Support can be everything, so make sure your partner is well aware of your needs when they are happening.
You can explain your anxiety to your partner by going into the conversation with a calm and positive attitude.
I'm sure that your partner already knows. But, it may help if you describe to him/her the reasons for your anxiety, as in what your triggers are and why you feel certain situations make you feel uncomfortable so that they can recognize when there is a situation that will likely spark a negative reaction and support you in it. If they love you then they will understand. They wouldn't want you to feel anything less than comfortable.
Be honest. It is important to maintain communication in a relationship, particularly one where one partner has anxious tendencies. Being open about this can be important to help your partner understand who you are and how you function. But take things slowly. Expecting them to understand fully and completely right away may be a bit much.
Tell him/her what happens in you head. Tell him/her each little step that takes place - if you can. If you feel very anxious at a certain point, try to write down what happens so you can tell him/her what goes on in your mind. Then, try to tell him/her what kind of support you would like/expect, that's one of the most important things. Good luck :)
It may help to explain that anxiety is a disease-- no different in seriousness than any other. While some people are afflicted with conditions of the heart or lung, others are afflicted with conditions of the brain. Having anxiety doesn't mean that you're "crazy," only that you're suffering from something outside your control. Anxiety is tough to deal with, which is why it's important that your partner learn to stand beside and support you as you struggle through it.
You go by pieces, don't wanna throw all of your fears and issues on them. Just start by relating an issue with an activity you guys are doing or on a talk some time... I'm pretty sure that if it is a nice person, he or she will understand.
Don't hesitate. Since they are your partner, I would assume the two of you have a level of closeness and mutual understanding with one another. Just calmly describe the whole situation to them, and how it's bothering you. I'm sure he/she can provide you with a lot of much-needed support and guidance.
Anxiety disorders are a category of mental illness disorders, characterized by feelings of anxiety and fear, where anxiety is a worry about future events and fear is a reaction to current events. These feelings can cause to social anxiety (which includes not wanting to go out and be social because of the fear of what irrational idea might happen etc.)
If they really love you, they will understand you no matter how you tell them. But, you can start by bringing up the subject or possibly talking to a proffecional.
Anxiety is an incredibly difficult thing to live with and very difficult to explain to people who have never felt that way. Some people react as if you are just exaggerating and cant understand why you are being so dramatic. But this is your partner, you are together, they care for you and want you to be happy so you should not expect a negative reaction from them. Talk to them and ask them if they have ever been in a situation where they felt scared of something. Perhaps when they were little for example. Use that to build your explanation on and engage them on an emotional level. Their memories of such feelings can be used as context for how you feel about certain situations.
You can sit with your partner and explain to them what you are going through and then provide him/her with some web articles about anxiety so that he/she can better understand!
This is something that I can't even do myself. But I think it might be okay if you just talk casually to your partner and tell them what you feel truly.
Honesty is the key. In my opinion, the most important thing to remember in this situation is that your partner should be supportive towards you no matter what emotional/mental issues you're facing. If your partner decides they don't respect your struggle with anxiety, they're not worth being in a relationship with. You shouldn't view this as a test of your own communication skills, it's a test of their character. I think you just have to tell it to them clearly and truthfully that you have anxiety problems, and explain this in more personal detail if you feel that helps. If you're honest, they should love and support you no matter what. Your anxiety does not define you.
explaining anxiety is not easy but once you get the hang of it its great! I would start with "I get scared sometimes". This is not what anxiety is but to get them to understand this is simple for them. overtime I would share how anxiety makes me feel using "I feel" statements. I hope this helps!
Anxiety is like drowning underwater. you know where the surface is but you can't reach it. it strangles you and keeps you put. Sometimes panic attacks have the same affect! It can be hard and they may struggle to understand what it is that anxiety is and even describing it may not be helpful at the end of the day but if they love you enough they may begin to understand but one explanation will not do it justice. Even a year from now they still may struggle but at the end of the day your the one that truly needs to understand it to overcome it.
Being honest, truthful and open is the way into another person's heart and support. They would want to be as supportive of you as much as possible. And if they are not, then they are not worth staying with. If you put yourself into that person's shoes, then wouldn't you want the same? Isn't having an open relationship with support from each other most important besides love? What would be in the way of this when external attractions are no longer there? Therefore, whatever you have with yourself, can it be shared with another especially if you want them to love and care for you?
be true to them and don't lie tell them how you feel! if they really care about you they will help and try there best to make you feel better! in my own experience i could i trust him more and it brought us closer together. Be open and tell them everything you want them to know i promise you that you wont be disappointed or feel uncomfortable, Because i hear ya staying open with some people especially maybe if you are new to relationships or just not sure about the person. but building trust is a good healthy way to start a relationship! and hey maybe your partner feels the same but is just to scared to say it. It never hurts to gain a little trust!
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