How can I explain to my mother what's wrong with me?
Last Updated: 03/19/2018 at 2:31pm
Deane Rain Marie, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.
Top Rated Answers
Well, the first thing I want to say is that nothing is ever "wrong" with us . I feel that internalizes the issue too much. However, if we are feeling less than optimal and want to bring a problem to our mother, I think that we should do it in as open a way as we can and know that she's going to have questions and worry about us. Good communication is always the best route. Good ways to do this often times start out with phrases like "I think..." or "I feel..." and then the issue. If we aren't comfortable doing this face-to face, then perhaps write her a letter or send a text that you will talk to her about later. As much as moms try to be psychic, they can be pretty bad at it, so however you want to approach it, just make sure you are and know that, even if it's hard to talk to them, moms can be a great place to seek support and the only sure way to face any kind of rejection is to not bring something up at all.
I guess it's hard to explain to her, she was too busy to deal with me when I had a bad time, when I most needed her. She was there to have a check on me to prevent me from being spoiled in my teenage. She was there to give me food, water, shelter and education. But she wasn't there to mentally support and comfort me. Well I believe it's that most of the times that she was there with me, so I guess it wouldn't be fair if i complaint to her. May be I should burn the midnight oil to explain to her what's wrong with me, but I guess it's not worth it, because I've learned to hide my feelings.
Honesty is always key. Granted, I'm sure you'll have some people who put you down and doubt you, but if you're being honest and open with someone you trust, just roll with the punches.
In depending on what precisely is wrong with you, independs on how you do so. Depression for an example, just tell her you feel lonely, sad and worthless.
By facing her, taking small deep breaths and talk. You will never be able to explain to her if you'll just keep it in you. You'll never know the outcome if you never face the music. I know it's hard but what choice do you have? Free yourself already.
If you feel there is an issue that you need to speak with your parent about the best thing to do is to try to be honest and just do it. If you feel that you can't do it alone, then you can try to incorporate another trusted person to help you.
Thanks for reaching out to ask for help. If you could tell me a little about what's going on, maybe we can figure this out together.
Ease her into whatever is wrong, but don't lie and don't make it sound too eased or too intense. If this is a person you trust a lot, she should be open to anything.
Perhaps you could consider writing her a letter or sit her down and explain to her slowly about how you feel. Do it at your own pace and what you're comfortable with. See her mood and phrase it in ways that wouldn't put her in a foul mood. All the best with it!
First, there is nothing wrong with you. It's important to remember that. You might be having difficulties or dealing with personal problems but it does not mean that makes you flawed. Before explaining, it might be a good idea to gather what you want to say. Perhaps writing it down, and organizing your thoughts and reading them out loud so you can get an idea of what you do and don't want to say. Next, maybe practice what you want to say and how. When you feel you're ready, calmly ask if you can have a private talk with her and explain the ideas and thoughts you have (you can also read off the paper you made of your thoughts!) and go from there! Good luck!
Sit down- make a cup of tea and be honest with her and talk to her and tell her what is really going on in your mind.
There are two ways I always encourage when it comes to opening up to people who are close to you. The first way is to sit her down and be straight forward. It is quite scary because it is done face-to-face. Some people are unable to express themselves so that's when I propose the second way - writing a letter. If you were to write a letter, you would have all of your thoughts gathered together and there wouldn't be a lot of confusion. It is the easier way, in my opinion. You just have to write down your thoughts and then give it to your mother. It takes 5 seconds to do that. I wish you luck.
By being straight forward and honest. Find the right moment and explain. Most people might initially be in shock or denial but then accept the explanation.
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