Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I stop being nervous when I know I have to talk to someone?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2021 at 4:03am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

Social Worker

I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
March 31st, 2015 3:16pm
People are generally nervous about talking to someone if they have a negative expectation for how the interaction will go, or they seek to impress them, or both. Therefore, it is first important to identify and challenge the negative expectation, and/or to challenge the need to impress them. This is done by asking yourself questions, like "What am I expecting to happen? Why do I expect this? How likely is this, what is the evidence? Even if it happens, so what?" and also to shift your focus to having a fun, good time rather than seeking to impress. This kind of thinking takes practice, but over time, you'll find yourself less nervous when knowing you have to talk to someone.
March 1st, 2015 12:19am
You could try to remain calm, think of the person as your friend that you've known for years. That way you will feel comfortable with the person and therefore will feel less nervous about talking to them
July 4th, 2015 6:37am
Practice talking to yourself in the mirror or talking to a close friend. Kinda like in photography, you take your camera out and just shoot photos just to get your juices flowing, and to get in the mindset. Then when the time comes you have already been active in the task and you feel prepared with minimal anxiety.
April 11th, 2015 2:05pm
Take a moment and breathe is what you have to do first. Maybe repeat "Its Okay" as a mantra. Definitely helps.
November 19th, 2018 12:35am
You could try and pretend that they're someone else, someone in mind who you are already comfortable talking to generally. Think of a time you was nervous to talk to someone and how they are now an important person you can easily talk to now, this new person could end up going down the same path. At the end of the day, you never know unless you try and not speaking to someone because your nervous could end up in you missing out on something potentially amazing. Dont always take nervousness as a bad thing, remember its also a very good thing aslong as you use it in the correct way.
February 25th, 2015 10:29pm
Breathe. Breathe again. Then breathe again. Then continue breathing. Tell yourself that it is nothing frightful to peak to someone. Think about it from their point of view. If they seem at ease speaking with you, there is no reason to be afraid speaking to them.
May 23rd, 2015 8:00pm
Just breathe. It's okay to be nervous when you have to speak to someone and believe it or not, many other people feel the exact same way! Just take deep breaths, and try relax your muscles. It'll be okay.
September 7th, 2015 7:35pm
Take in deep slow breaths, do this until your body relaxes and your nerves subside. Breathing in through the nose for a count of 3 and out through the mouth for a count of 4 can help you relax your body, mind, and nerves.
September 22nd, 2015 6:05am
Know that everyone here has your best interests at heart, and is willing to help in any way they can. There is no judgement.
December 1st, 2015 11:36pm
Take a few deep breaths and plan out what you want to say before you say it. Maybe plan a couple small conversations so that possible responses aren't too much to think about.
December 28th, 2015 12:10pm
Some people are worried that they will mess up so just think positively and you will get through it because this worked for me a lot
December 29th, 2015 1:10am
Simply to go with the flow ~~~~~~ You never know what kind the situcation that you are in. It will be easy to watch and learn at first. So going with the flow ^_^
August 16th, 2016 5:31pm
Take a deep breathe, people will not judge you at all! I mean don't we all have our awkward moments XD
October 18th, 2016 12:45am
Take a deep breath and focus on the task, realize that they're just another human being and you never know if you'll hit it off or not with them, it's worth the risk because if so then you'll have a new friend but if not then so what? Maybe you two didn't get along and that's fine, what matters is that you tried.
November 15th, 2016 5:35pm
I get nervous when I have to talk to someone too and try to avoid it. I don't really stop being nervous about it, I just judge my words carefully before I speak.
November 7th, 2017 10:03pm
Create a list of what you need to talk about with the other person. Bring this list with you when you have the conversation. That way you are able to stay on topic and not get flustered as much and forget what you really wanted to discuss in the first place. This also gives you an opportunity to really think about how you want to approach the subject with the other person.
February 19th, 2018 3:28am
It may help to rehearse what you want to say in your mind or on paper before the conversation.
December 24th, 2018 3:12pm
It's completely normal to feel nervous or on edge when talking to someone, so don't worry you're not alone. And especially when you know you're going to HAVE to talk since it might cause you to overthink what to say or different topics you can talk about etc. That nervousness probably wont just completely go away, but that's okay because there are ways to cope with it and also reduce it. For example, mindfulness can allow you to focus on the now and not to worry about the event coming up, breathing techniques can bring your awareness to your body so you can get a breather and clear your mind from feeling nervous, etc. There are many techniques you can use
December 14th, 2020 8:41pm
I think back to speech class in high school. There was this goofy teacher that me and my best friend would always make fun of. She said "speeechezzz" and it made us laugh so hard. I think of that laughter first and foremost when I am nervous and about to make an effort at something that resembles a speech. Secondly, I think about that class itself. Looking back, this class taught me so much about public speech. Why? Because every day we would write on a little piece of scrap paper, a topic. The paper would be thrown in a hat. Each student would draw from the hat and then you would have to make a speech on that topic in particular! This taught me how to improvise and not take myself too seriously.
March 16th, 2021 4:03am
I have dealt with this same exact feeling all my life! I totally understand being nervous when I know I have to talk to someone, especially if they are someone new. It sounds like you are facing at least a similar situation, and I just want to tell you that it is okay to feel this way, and being nervous when talking to someone is a common feeling many people feel. However, I know that it can often feel like you are alone in this experiencing this kind of fear. Could you share a bit more on this feeling?