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How can I stop worrying what others think of me?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2021 at 4:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

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I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
August 4th, 2015 4:32pm
love yourself don't be how others want you to be. Then you'll find people who love you for you. That's the thing for life: having the right people by your side. Remember it all starts with how you see yourself. Look in the mirror everyday. Smile at yourself and tell yourself something good about you. Keep saying it until your smile is genuine and you feel it. Most people who are or were not appreciated by others, or who were criticized for a longer period, tend to care too much about what other think about them. It's because we all want and need to be important to others, to be appreciated by others. The best way to overcome this is to do something worthwhile. Start working on something, do it really well, then learn to accept compliments and expressions of appreciation. Only those who are insecurely building their egos find it necessary to criticize others. 90% of the time people are so worried about what they are wearing or doing, they don't even notice you. What other people think of you is their reality; it doesn't have to be yours. If people judge you, it says more about them than it does about you. Realize that you are your own person and ultimately the only one in charge of your own actions and feelings. You cannot control other people but you can control how you react and feel about them. Be yourself! Life is simply not fun if you are too worried about pleasing/offending other people that you can't even have a personality! Truth is, not everyone is going to like you anyway so why bother trying? Let them get mad over petty stuff if they want to, but don't become a victim of that kind of stupidity and small-mindedness. Just have fun. You only get one shot at life. Don't let what other people say or think get you down. It's irrelevant and they are irrelevant. To try to rid negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones is a slippery road. There's a phenomena known as the ironic process of mental control whereby trying to not think about something (e.g. a negative thought) will actually increase those very thoughts in the mind. For me, the way forward is self-acceptance of any negative thoughts and then connect with your values. For example, one of your values in the domain of friendships maybe openness. If this is true then you will value being yourself - open and honest - and therefore not care as much what others think because this is a core value of yours. If friends are mean and horrible to you because of this, you need to question who you spend your time with on this word. As humans, we are all. Don't let negative people suck your energy away. Gravitate towards positive people! Don't expect others to change themselves just because you want them to or you are judging them. They are themselves, they can't be anyone different. Don't ever think you are not good enough; you are you, will always be you, and only have one chance at life, and that chance is short. You should simply live life to the fullest, and not care at all about any judgmental opinions that are thrown towards you in life. Do not think about why you aren't good enough for that person, instead ask yourself if that person is good enough for you. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Don't change yourself just because someone wants you to or they are judging you. You are you, you can't be anyone different. Don't expect submission from other people - they can show to you that they are wild spirits and they roam this good old world with pride and will do what they want whether you like it or not. Don't speak or act submissively - show to others that you are a wild spirit and you roam this good old world with pride and will do what you want whether they like it or not.
January 16th, 2015 8:14am
Other people's opinions do not define you. They do not define your self worth... You are the only person who determines your worth and what you're capable of... Remember that whatever they say or think will not matter and does not matter because you view yourself entirely differently.
July 14th, 2015 11:04pm
People are always going to dislike you. There will always be someone out there who will think negatively of you. There will always be discrimination. All this because of opinions. Everyone has their own mind and they believe what they want to believe and even some won't listen to reason. You can't please everyone and you can't keep caring what others think. Let people talk, let people think, let them worry about the fact that you don't care about what they have to say. Be yourself; that's the only reason people talk. They're afraid of what's different and they don't like the unknown. If anything, people talking about you behind your back is a compliment. You're different. You're not like everyone else. There's something to say about you.
January 15th, 2015 9:12pm
Once you become more confident and proud of yourself, you'll think about more great things that you can do rather than what others are thinking of you!
May 14th, 2015 1:00am
It's hard. You need to learn how to be confidant in yourself. Luckily that's something you can teach yourself over time. We're all born confidant and uncaring of what others think of you. Tap into that, you have it within you. Understand you're not perfect but that you do have strengths and weaknesses within yourself. Understand this makes you a wonderfully, flawed human. Work with it. Trust your capabilities but understand you will fail. That's life and not a reflection of you. Think of who you want to be and then be that person. What would they say? What would they do? How would they think about themselves? Emulate and become, you've got this :)
July 18th, 2016 12:08am
Never regret. Be brave. Be bold. Be proud of who you are and everything you do. Love yourself, only then you will realize you are the most important opinion about yourself.
June 30th, 2015 10:05pm
What others think of you are merely opinions. Opinions are simply judgments or views about something or someone. It is important to realize that just because someone thinks a specific thing about you, it does not make it true. What others think of you or say about you, says more about them than it says about you. Once you take in the facts about yourself instead of the opinions others have created, your life will feel much more weightless and worry free.
July 4th, 2016 5:24pm
I'm in the same boat and I think I can help you with this one. When it comes to not worrying about other's opinions about you, you kind of just have to own yourself. Forget one in million, you're one in 7 billion! I know it seems hard but it's going to be a process, it's going to take time for you to learn how to love yourself and be proud of yourself but you can do it. When it comes down to what clothes you wear or how you style your hair just remember that most people are not looking at you to judge you they are actually looking at you because they wish they had the confidence to wear what they wanted to where, just like you. This was a very broad question so I hope this is a good enough answer and hope it helped :)
April 30th, 2018 4:33am
To stop worrying about what others think of you, you want to stop and think, who are you living for? Them or you? It's you. you don't live to please other people so the only person's opinion you should care about it your own. Do you like yourself? Yes, well then anyone who disagrees with how you live your life is irrelevant
June 22nd, 2015 12:54am
Try to remember that what others think of you, does not and should not have a direct impact on who you are. As long as you are happy and content with how you are living, and what you are doing, what people see you as does not matter.
November 17th, 2015 6:26am
To stop worrying simply be proud of yourself on whatever you have done! Stay positive, show courage and be happy :)
December 8th, 2015 12:56pm
It may be difficult for you to stop worrying, I find the best thing to do is for every negative what if question I ask myself, I provide 3 alternative positive what ifs. For example; Negative: What if people say mean things to me? Positive: What if they don't say mean things to me? Positive: What if I make new friends Positive: What if everything goes ok and I feel more confident
August 15th, 2016 7:35pm
It's your choice to decide how you are and what you feel. Those who really matter will love you for you.
March 26th, 2018 8:10pm
By telling yourself over and over again that you do what is right for you and you do not live your life by what others think of you.
April 15th, 2015 12:32pm
Others don't know what you are going through. You are the best judge. They don't have any right to judge you. Person to whom you mean a lot will not judge you and what others think should not matter to you. :)
May 23rd, 2015 4:00am
You can stop worrying what others think when you realize that the most important opinion is your own.
September 28th, 2015 2:54pm
if you start believing in your self it doesn't matters about what others may think of you .its our life we are not to please others
October 26th, 2015 8:33pm
Although it is important to belong into society and for that you need approval of others, it is necessary to find the healthy measure. If you are overly occupied with what others think of you - it makes you slave to their opinions. You are waiting like a beggar with your hand out craving some approval. Nobody defines you. At this point I would say the phrase that existentialists love: "Cogito ergo sum." (I think, therefore I am) You define yourself.
December 8th, 2015 2:10am
believe that the worst person in your life that matters is yourself nothing in life can make you feel worse your power can only be controled by yourself dont let it cosume you
July 18th, 2016 12:15pm
Just be who you are, You wasn't brought on this planet to please others, Your good enough person focus on yourself and stop worrying about others.
August 16th, 2016 12:32pm
By building your own confidence and learning to love yourself for who you are, because in the end, there are some things you can never change about yourself.
October 18th, 2016 12:28am
You can never ever control what others think of you, so need to worry about it. What you do control is how you think of yourself. You are a wonderful unique and special person. So just be you!
January 16th, 2017 3:49pm
You worry only about yourself. People who build a name, image, etc. for you don't matter. What matters is what you think of yourself. If you are helping the greater good and being there for yourself and others and are happy then what others think or say about you don't matter at all. They don't live your life, they just live in the same life as yours. You co-exist with each other and that's the most they can do. They don't dictate you and your actions and how you are, they might influence you and how you act, but you are your own person before their opinions about you.
February 27th, 2017 5:10am
It can be very hard to let what people think and say about you go, but you eventually have to or you will be living for someone else rather than you. Always remember that you are good enough, no matter what people say. You should love yourself because you are amazing.
May 27th, 2015 1:11pm
Part of being human, and even of being social, is caring what others think of you- what impression you make. First of all, it´s not abnormal, and you can accept that part of yourself. Second, you could start to examine reactions of people- if you feel they stare, look closely -are they really staring? Learning to predict other´s behavior and evualate them will help you great deal. Trust your instinct as a helpful adviser on the matter.
June 22nd, 2015 7:46pm
this is a problem very difficult to deal with , mostly this is caused by one seeking acceptance when you are accepted by the person you love most then you will let go of what other people's opinion of you is
July 13th, 2021 4:24pm
This is a very normal emotion you are experiencing. There is no reason at all to feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. The world has made us that way. We constantly compare ourselves to others and want to appear good in the eyes of everyone. Just remember what others think of you, in no way affects who you are. You are your own perfect self and nobody can snatch that from you. Every is on their own life journey and it's okay to sometimes feel confused. But remember you are always in control of yourself. You deserve that kind of self compassion. Don't let anyone else's opinion of you change what you feel about yourself. All the best in life♥️