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How can I take care of myself without feeling selfish?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 01/04/2021 at 8:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
January 14th, 2015 10:22pm
Paradoxically, good self-care IS selfless. Why? Because if your life is in order, there will be more of you available to give to others. You can't take care of other people well when your life is a mess. Self love promotes love of others.
April 16th, 2015 8:03pm
You are the most important person on your life. You need to take of yourself. I know that might be hard to understand, but think about it like this- You help other people all the time, but not yourself. You make other feel happy, when you are not. You spend time on other people, but not on yourself. Why make just them happy, when you can be happy, too? If you are not happy, how can you help them? Take care of yourself first, then other people.
November 3rd, 2015 10:13pm
Respect your existence. . Take care of your body mind and soul..nourish it with good food thoughts and the best and expect the best for yourself . Be conscious and respect other beings and the divinity in them
January 14th, 2015 10:25pm
Practice, practice, practice! Feeling selfish is just something that we have come to believe by thinking it over and over again. So to change the feeling we need to change the thought, slowly the feelings follow. Start slow, by taking a 10 minute walk for yourself, or a 15 minute soak in the tub. Commitment and practice brings the understanding that you deserve to feel good. Once you feel good you can bring that to others.
April 25th, 2015 10:22pm
Taking care of yourself is extremely important! Just think, how can you take care of anyone else if you aren't taking care of yourself? Take a bath, read your favorite book, cook something yummy; really anything you like to do!!! Nurture yourself because no one else will!!!
August 11th, 2015 3:58am
Taking time for yourself is key to having a good mental attitude. You should never feel selfish for needing a "mental health day". This can be a simple as taking a bath or reading a book you've been looking forward to, to as complex as going on a personal vacation.
April 23rd, 2015 9:01am
Taking care of yourself is NOT a selfish act is a NECESSARY act. time out for yourself allows you to really engage with others when you are ready. Grab a book, take a walk, even if it is a Pj day, these little moments of you are as important as going out and making the effort with others.
May 7th, 2015 4:39pm
Taking care of yourself is not selfish at all. You have a right to be taken care of, and you have the divine right to make sure that you remain taken care of.
June 30th, 2015 11:02pm
Taking care of yourself means doing what feels good for you, but still respecting the people around you and the world you live in. 'Selfish' is just a term for doing things for yourself without taking others into account.
October 26th, 2015 2:50am
How well you take care of yourself is an immediate reflection on how well you take care of others. If you are not getting the health (mental and physical) care you need to function properly, you can't care for anyone else. So a way to not feel selfish is to simply think of it as indirectly helping others.
December 1st, 2015 2:21pm
Doing something good for yourself, taking care of yourself can make you more gentle and kind to others as well. Hence, the opposite of being selfish, because in order for you to be caring and kind, you need to be content with yourself in the first place. That is NOT being selfish.
May 16th, 2015 4:06pm
Thinking about it's for your own health, because you need it to feel good to yourself, it doesn't make you a selfish person.
June 5th, 2015 5:40pm
Why would you feel selfish taking care of yourself? Taking care of yourself, is an essential part of life. And if there are people out there, calling you nasty names like "Selfish" because you want to help yourself, that isn't fair. You have the right to take care of yourself- It is part of your well being :)
July 28th, 2015 10:16am
Your safety, health and well being is first priority. It's not selfish, it's a must. You can only help others fully if you're at your best and working at your full potential
January 4th, 2016 6:00pm
You deserve to feel good. Every living and breathing human on this planet deserves to feel good. Sometimes people can be selfish if they're not helping someone else because their nail polish is drying or something else stupid like that. Self care is important and is not at all selfish. Yes, taking care of yourself is thinking of yourself first, but sometimes you *need* that. Saying no to a party late at night because you have a test the next day is not selfish, it's putting yourself first. It's taking care of your needs. It's important.
February 1st, 2016 11:52am
Acknowledge that taking care of yourself if important as well. It's not selfish to make sure you're meeting your own needs. It's okay to have some time alone or do something nice for yourself.
February 29th, 2016 6:39am
You should never feel selfish when you think about yourself. If you dont look out for yourself who would?
June 27th, 2016 12:07pm
Respect your existence. . Take care of your body mind and soul..nourish it with good food thoughts and the best and expect the best for yourself . Be conscious and respect other beings and the divinity in them
February 27th, 2017 10:31am
I ensure I take my medications as prescribed and on time. If I have a therapy session I ensure that I attend. I think ahead about my upcoming week and plan it in advance. This means managing my time so I do go to my therapy session and take medication correctly but also it means ensuring I eat correctly and get a good night’s sleep. My goal is to attend the gym at least 5 days a week and I time this in a way that it won’t be too late in the evening when it may disrupt my sleep. If I am having a particularly busy week where I won’t have time for healthy meals I will ensure I have a homemade fresh juice of a mixture of fruits and vegetables. I also try and be aware of my surroundings and the people around me which may be triggers, so simple things like avoiding toxic people or not watching things on tv that may be upsetting help. Finally I find it really helpful to put something in my calendar that is a treat. For example this month I have decided to attend a Buddhist weekend on the coast. That treat keeps me motivated and on track and is something to aim towards.
April 24th, 2018 3:51pm
taking care of yourself can involve many small things to ensure you feel at your best. Taking pride in your hygiene, and personal appearance. Deep breathing techniques and short brisk walks while taking in the scenery are always a good place to start!
July 2nd, 2018 10:24am
Balance your amount of feelings for yourself and others, this is the only way you won't be considered selfish
July 3rd, 2018 10:25pm
You can Remeber that you should be a high priority in your own life. You can't be fully okay if you don't take time and listen to yourself and what you need. Being selfish isn't bad when it comes to how we re treating ourselves
July 23rd, 2019 5:21am
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish! Telling others your limit(s), not wanting to hangout because you don't feel okay, want to be alone, and telling others what you can handle or not is NOT selfish at all! It's important for us to tell others about us because it'll help them to understand why we act certain ways. Being selfish is more like forcing people to do what you want because you just feel like it. You don't care about how others feel or being ignorant. Taking care of your self isn't selfish, as long as you know where to draw the line between being selfish and self-care. I hope you well!
February 24th, 2020 4:38pm
April 14th, 2020 6:06am
I always think of it as you can't pour water from an empty glass. Likewise, you can't ensure quality care towards others if you yourself are not in healthy condition. Healthy boundaries are definitely needed so that is helps guard you against people that may try to overstep the boundaries and make you feel selfish for caring about yourself. Such boundaries can be established by being consistent with an act. For example, you can set your phone to not receive any notifications past 8pm so that you can have some time to yourself or have an early night- and by doing so consistently, others learn that if they were to contact you past 8pm that they won't be tended to, and therefore learn to respect your space and boundaries.
December 7th, 2020 1:35pm
Loving yourself is very important just as you love someone else. And we at times feel so exhaustive of dealing with our closed ones. And in those times, we need to take care of ourselves. our mind and body needs rest. At the same time, it is important to communicate the same to others who are around us. And we need to prioritise the time for self care. When our closed one needs us, we need to be there with them and at times it is not possible and in those times, it is relevant that you share how you feel about being in that situation.
January 4th, 2021 8:37pm
I used to struggle with this a lot growing up, so I understand it is difficult to treat yourself with kindness without feeling this way. To overcome this, recognize that if you are not in a mentally stable and healthy state, you will not be able to help others and support those you love to your greatest potential. Accept that it is okay for you to treat yourself with kindness, and if there are other people feeding into the mentality that you are being selfish by putting your needs first, then they do not have your best interests in mind. There is a difference between self-care (treating yourself with kindness without the intention of putting others down or depleting others of their joy) vs being selfish (having the intention of putting others down or depleting others of joy).