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How can I talk to people normally?

226 Answers
Last Updated: 05/07/2022 at 12:45pm
How can I talk to people normally?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy

Psychotherapist

I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
ChaiTeaLatte138
April 16th, 2016 12:52am
I'm very honest when I talk to people online & irl. I became this way after one of my dearest friends died very young. I became much bolder and even spoke to people I did not know! Yes, I have had awkward experiences. However, being this way has brought me far more happiness than sadness. I am not perfect but when people see that I am a nice person they respond. I love to share the things I love with other people so that drives me. It is fun to get excited about something with other people! A common interest is a great way to talk to someone normally. Since you'll be talking about your shared interest the words will happen more easily. I have even gone to concerts and other events alone, making new friends there. Again, I am far from perfect. If anything, I am terribly broken but...this is my answer. I hope it is helpful to someone. Nothing to lose. Everything to gain! ♡
JasmineJane
April 3rd, 2016 5:07pm
You are your own normal. It sounds extremely cheesy but just approaching someone and being yourself can already define talking to people normally. You are enough as a person and you do not need to prove anything to anyone, as long as you are kind to the person your relationship can go far.
insightfulTruth93
April 17th, 2016 11:36pm
I don't think that you can apply a set of rules to social interactions, especially not small talk. Change should start with body language and voice and not focus on trying to be quirky, as that's a way to broadcast an inauthentic personality.If you’re feeling really rusty, give it a shot with a friend or family member and ask for a little feedback afterward. If you’re feeling bold, approach someone you wouldn’t normally talk to. If you draw a blank, ask a question. Breathe, smile, listen. Most of all, remember why you’re doing this, and remind yourself that you’re not imposing on someone by having a pleasant conversation with them—you’re making their day a bit brighter, and you should never be made to feel bad about that.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 3:22pm
There isn't a "normal" way to talk to someone. If you have social anxiety, take a deep breath and just go for it. You'll eventually warm up to everything and develop better social and communication skills.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2016 10:29am
It's really easy The only thing that you need to talk with people is self confidence and don't allow fear to effect your performance
HealingLotus
April 11th, 2015 12:12am
It depends honestly, social skills are something we must learn by doing, it can't really be learned in books. Social skills is a bunch of little adaptions we make when we are around other people. Most of the time we don't even think about it or realize it. So you have to work your way up to being comfortable around people and talk to people enough to get up to a level you consider normal. Practise makes perfect and is the only way. Your going to fail and mess up, that's how we learn, be prepaid. Understand that failing is for your benefit, it's our brain understanding trial and errors of what we are doing, perfecting and adjusting as needed. Good luck.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2015 12:32am
I think normal is a funny kind of word, there's tonnes of ways to talk each with their own unique personality. Some of the most interesting conversations I've ever had were far from the "norm" As cliche as it sounds, just do you.
JacoEM
June 30th, 2018 10:38pm
Just remember that most people are nervous about talking to others. What they want is to feel validated and appreciated. Show kindness to that person, be interested in those persons, always bring a smile to the conversation and you will be an appreciated person to talk to.
LovelyCreature17
April 14th, 2018 3:10am
Just be comfortable and speak your mind. People will like you for who you are. Any way of feeling comfortable is the definition of normally
Anonymous
April 14th, 2018 11:20pm
Know that these "people" might be asking the same question as you. Dont think too much about it and try to visualize the best case scenario of how the conversation could turn out! Good luck
wishfulRose80
April 25th, 2018 12:23am
It's all about how confident you are and how comfortable you are with yourself. If you think low of yourself, that only makes talking to others more difficult.
flowermermaid26
April 28th, 2018 1:26pm
try practicing with one person first? maybe chatting up people here at cups will also help :) let me know if you'd like to chat!
Monique89
April 28th, 2018 6:45pm
Normal is subjective. Just be yourself! Everyone has their own unique characteristics, no two people are the same. As long as you're kind, you are doing great.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2018 6:44am
Take a deep breath. Stay calm in your mind. Try thinking of how you will start a conversation and what you would like to talk about. I suggest making comliments about something such as maybe their hair, look or them being helpful, another thing is picking up on minor details that they may have such as their hair, shirt or keychains and see if you can start a conversation from there. For example maybe they died their hair and you can ask them about that, or they have a band shirt you recognize and you could ask them about that. Find little things to talk about even if it just how their day is going.
MyChemicalKlance
May 23rd, 2018 12:22am
Don't worry too much about how you talk and just be yourself. Being you is the best thing you can be
UntilThen
May 24th, 2018 10:45pm
There is no one normal way to talk to people. If you are looking for people to be able to understand you, I would recommend reading and writing more. If you are looking to change how people tell you that you speak, I would ask them what they feel you should change. But also, keep in mind that if they think the issue is the things you enjoy talking about and not the way you talk, you aren't the problem.
SeekApotheosis50
May 25th, 2018 11:56pm
“Just be yourself” is such a cliché, I know... but I’ve come to realize that the people in my life who I love, cherish, and enjoy being with, are all types. Some are funny, some are thoughtful, some are the life of the party, some are awkward. Each one has their strengths, quirks, and flaws and that’s why I appreciate them. So if you are weird, awkward, dorky, serious, quiet, intense, shy... when people come to know you they will love you for it.
Anonymous
May 26th, 2018 9:57pm
What do you consider to be normal? The way you talk to people may be perfectly normal. Saying hello, asking how they are doing, and about their day is a good start. Finding common interests is also a good way to have a conversation. If you know them well enough, you can talk to them about their family or job. If you don't know them that well, you can ask less personal questions about their family, job, life without being intrusive. Just be aware of boundaries and people's feelings. Don't yell or be overly critical. Try not to interrupt or talk over other people. Just think about how you would like someone to talk to you.
Nutellalover16
June 6th, 2018 8:24pm
Try to be yourself. Don’t think too much about what they think about you! And be honest. Even though some people may not share your opinion, honesty is key in conversations!
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 7:40am
people talk all sorts of ways nobody is perfect to talk to someone. one of the biggest problems in this generation nowadays is social communication. somebody speak funny, some people don't make eye-contact when facing people but acknowledge your talking to someone with the best of your ability and practice talking to someone if you feel you need to improve or use a object as though it was a person if it makes you feel you can talk better but be happy about how you talk.
Charcoalqueen22
June 22nd, 2018 3:17pm
There is no normal or abnormal way to talk to people. The more you stress about it, the more you would consider yourself isolated from the group. I know it is hard to communicate with people sometimes and especially if one has social anxiety but trust me, if you talk the way you are with them, then you would find genuine and simpler connections in which you can be yourself around them without worrying 24/7 about what to say. So just be you :)
wonderfullMelon
July 22nd, 2018 12:08pm
4 tricks to keep a conversation going are: Give a compliment with a cold read "You seem really sporty, do you play volleyball?" Question that creates avalanche because it's a topic that interests them: "So what are the rules for playing professional volleyball?" Make it a game "Where are you from? Wait, let me guess. Boston?" Ask for advice "Can you help me, I can't serve very well in Volleyball, do you have any tips with that?"
phosphenerelief
August 26th, 2018 2:47am
Those who have this worry (like myself) often are very introspective and socially anxious, constantly concerned about what they need to say, do etc to fill up the conversation - which overwhelms them. But this is lessened when you acknowledge that a conversation occurs between two or more people - and that you do not have to fill up this time and put in your efforts alone. Furthermore, during your introspection you may worry about what about you and your life you could possibly talk about, and find it difficult to personally identify your interests and knowledgeable areas due to a lack of confidence. However, if you first ask the other person what they're interested in or about their knowledge on something then you are giving them an opportunity to discuss something they're interested in, and often through listing to what they're passionate about will remind you what your interests are. This is also good as it makes the other person feel listened to.
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2018 12:41am
Well, I would take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Then I would start talking. If you can't bring yourself to talk to this person or group of people, then that is ok too. You shouldn't feel pressured to talk to people. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then you shouldn't force yourself to do it. Never let yourself feel pressured. It is not shameful to not be able to talk to people. Social anxiety is just like normal anxiety. You may feel like you are a failure at socializing but you are not. I suffer from this as well. At times it's ok to talk to people, then other days you feel like it would be the end of the world to talk to them. It can be managed slowly. Start by talking to one person everyday.
Praticalsupport
August 15th, 2018 2:12am
By learning to love yourself so you can be yourself! When you are confident in who you are then communicating with others becomes easier.
Dostoievskyforyou
August 3rd, 2018 9:55pm
You dont need to talk normally to people. You can talk on your own way. If anyone dont like the way you are, they're not someone you want to have on your life.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 11:23pm
100% be yourself . If they judge you or feel your not "normal" are they worth talking to . Perhaps practice talking to yourself as weird as that sounds it really helps to come up with a natural structure for answers so you dont stutter or sweat when your asked a question .
tony4200
July 25th, 2018 12:00pm
Talking to people normally should always involve you being honest and your "authentic self." Be an active listener. Listen, don't just wait to talk. Make sure you are heard and that your listener understands you.
010Charles101
June 30th, 2018 11:53pm
That's quite a complex question, truly. First of all, what does normal mean? Perhaps it means without nervous mannerism such as a stutter, or a throat-gulp. Perhaps you mean that your choice of conversation tactics or topics aren't in-line with what you observe other people do. Then what is normal, anyway? I think some of the best conversations I've ever had would not be considered normal. Once at a bar, I chanced to meet a few people out on a patio and we proceeded to have nearly a two-discussion about everything from classocal music to astrophysics (of course just ponderances, I'm no astrophysicist) and I remember one of them posing the question, "If all of the musicians and their work disappeared from existence now and in history, but you get to keep one, who would you keep?" Now this is NOT a normal comversation, but it was exquisitely fun! Atypical, NOT normal conversation can truly be womderful. Indeed, if it is atypical is probably more genuine too-you're not adhering to anyone else's guidelines. On nervousness, and barriers to talking to people in general, (normal or not) that's a completely different sort of task. I suppose with anything, practice is key. Try just saying, "hi, how are you?" A pre-programmed starter. As you do this, and listen to many different people's responses you can begin to draw on your experiences and be more creative with your intros and general conversation. If you cannot do this at all, it would be in your best interest to visit a qualified professional.
Nuki6
July 4th, 2018 10:07pm
You have to get out of your comfort zone and just be yourself. Say what comes in your mind and just don’t try to push conversations and topics you don’t really care about.