Moderated by
Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
Psychotherapist
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
Top Rated Answers
If you see someone and think they are nice just go up to them and Start a normal Konversation like "hey, you seemed very nice so I wondered if we could talk"
Anonymous
September 15th, 2016 6:04am
Good question! You just did it. It's easy. Many people filter their language: stop doing that. Start saying what comes to mind. There is no "normal" way to talk to people. I'm not sure what that means.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 2:24pm
Use your profile as a mission statement. Think of it as your introduction, you'll sometimes get a clue that the member has read it and you can feel more comfortable in your conversation. When you learn something new add it to your profile!
Anonymous
September 24th, 2016 6:36pm
You know how people say that forcing a smile will make you feel a slight bit happier? Without going into too much science, basically your brain associated smiling with happiness, so forcing a smile semi-tricks your brain into making you feel happier. The same goes with confidence. Fake the confidence. You can be as anxious as you want, but as long as you cover it with confidence, people won't notice. And once you've started faking confidence enough, you'll eventually start to become more confident anyway.
I can't ensure you it will work and I don't know how receptive are people from where you live, but you can try to practice through an online free language course because they will somehow show you the basics for a natural conversation with strangers. If you are talking about well known people, you can talk with them about this difficulty you have so they might help you. Hope it helped! Have a nice day! :)
Anonymous
September 30th, 2016 9:12pm
Honestly the best advice is to be yourself - maybe the more confident version of yourself, but still you.
Think of a time when you feel comfortable expressing your opinions and channel that mindset towards people you want to talk to.
I ask them how are they, what did they do today, what are their plans and what are they doing for the next friend's birthday.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2016 10:17am
Start saying hi. If you are shy or have low self esteem, it's a great way to get to know people, especially since the other person will usually reply, allowing you to start up a simple conversation.
You can talk to people normally by first looking for things you have in common with them. When you find something you have in common, then you focus on that and discuss it until you find something else you have in common with them.
I thought about this question in respect of what I respond best to in someone; I think I feel most comfortable when the person I'm meeting for the first time is relaxed, easy going and willing to have a conversation about anything, from the weather to your journey that day. Listening and being interested in the person you're talking to also works really well, anything you do or say that puts another person as ease will help you in most social situations.
Pretend you're calm and relaxed, or just explain why you're so nervous. People will understand!! :))
Anonymous
November 12th, 2016 11:55am
Don`t compare yourself to others, be self confident and value yourself highly, be relaxed and without any prejudice.
Try to not anticipate people's reponses, but simply focus on yourself and what you are thinking and let other people deal with the burden of judging what you say. Hope this helped !
Anonymous
December 16th, 2016 4:28am
Honestly, I don't believe there is a "normal" way to talk to people. It's a hit or miss kind of deal. The best way to handle it is to do your best to let go and be yourself (even though it may be hard). If you can be yourself without being inconsiderate of others, you've done a good job. It doesn't matter what other people think at that point, because you've done your best. Don't strive to be the best, strive to be your best.
I'm not sure what abnormal talking is. Is it like ums and ahs too often, fidgeting, too loud, too shrill,?
I've heard of two ways to get past the ums or fidgeting. Rehearse what you are going to say if it is a speech or have good notes of what you want to discuss in a meeting, keep notes and refer to them as needed. Be well informed of the subject matter.
If you are nervous in conversing with others, think of a nice pleasant place or that someone you are comfortable chatting with. If you make a mistake and others laugh, learn to laugh with them. You are not the first nor will you be the last and carry on. It gets easier once you realize you are human like the rest of us.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2017 4:59am
I'm assuming that you struggle with social anxiety, Perhaps chat with your friends over social media because that way you don't have to worry about them seeing your reactions if your upset about that. Making friends over social media is much easier because you don't have to face that person right then, and you get to choose when you hang out.
it can be so hard to talk to people sometimes! I know this feeling and the first thing I do is remember they are a person as well as you. they have the things they worry about and you have yours. try to stay calm and talk on!
This is a vague question unfortunately. It is hard to say what is normal, especially in an era in which so many different things are now considered normal. I would say just surround yourself with the types of people you consider normal, watch movies and shows with those types of people, and see how everybody interacts.
Also, see if you have some underlying worldview or mentality or way of processing information that might make you communicate differently than the people you consider normal.
If you mean that you are nervous and shy around people, perhaps go to a forum or group that promotes self esteem, or use meditation audios that can boost your self-esteem.
Taking normally to people is in fact a very simple thing, so first of all we should not make a big deal out of it. Anyways if you are hesitant/scared/any other feeling while talking you should do following:-
1. Take 3-4 deep breaths, while closing your eyes.
2. Imagine that you are the best and the situation or person is your junior/sibling/whatever makes you feel comfortable.
3. Speak naturally.
4. If you are not comfortable to look into eyes than see on eyebrows, nobody could tell a difference.
Try above steps and see the difference.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2017 1:32am
There is no such thing as being normal. However, there are a few basic things to do when placed in a public situation. Take a few deep breaths if you are feeling anxious and introduce yourself if you have not done so. Frequent eye contact will let your listeners know that you are engaged in the conversation. If you are just talking to the person for the first time in a while, ask them how they have been but don't press to much on their personal life. Try to avoid too many topic changes as well. In the end, what is really important is that you are able to feel comfortable and like yourself when talking to others. Practice makes perfect!
By being yourself, ask them how their day is and be polite. You can talk to them about a certain topic that is going on around you. Be cool and not pushy.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2017 2:37am
Practice video recording yourself and build your confidence. Everyone one is unique and has their own wonderful personality. Find friends who accept you for who you are, but also have good boundaries, and strive to develop good boundaries in your own life by learning about them.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2017 2:35am
It takes practice, you start off small by saying "Hello" or "good day". As you grow more confident, start having small conversations about the weather or your topic of choice. The more you become comfortable, the more you'll be able to talk to people. You can also practice on inanimate objects or your pet.
It's helpful when talking to others to try to find things you can relate on! Find some common ground and go from there. Remember that we all can struggle connecting and feeling "normal," but also that the idea of being "normal" is a socially constructed concept. There is no normal, and it is okay if some people don't connect with you. Others will! Don't give up!
Anonymous
July 7th, 2017 10:57am
There are times when we may feel nervous while we talk to another person. However this is normal. In order to overcome it and talk normally to people as you want, the only way is to build yourself esteem, and chat with as many as possible. This way you will have nothing to be nervous about and you will get experience in chatting with others. Good luck!
Talking to people normally is definitely a learning process. When talking to someone, try your best to give them your undivided attention. I understand that we can have one million things running through our heads at a moment when someone is talking but it is best to find a way to focus on who is talking to you. I usually pay attention to a persons tone of voice and try my best to give eye contact so that I'm paying attention.
First of all, please do not judge yourself and do not have sky high expectations of yourself. That's like putting limitations and setting so many hurdles all around you. Just enjoy the company of the people you are with. You do not have to contribute much. You do not have to keep the conversation flowing. Actually, it's really important to be a good listener when you are in someone's company. Many people who are in a conversation actually do not really listen to one another. They just chat. A good listener contributes by listening patiently and speaking only when it's needed.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2017 12:27pm
firstly you need to trust people and make friends, because you have friends you can talk native with them without problem
Think about what you're saying before you say it, but don't concentrate on what the other person is thinking, concentrate on what you want to say. Breath whilst talking.
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