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How do I get over feeling that everyone is going to leave me?

167 Answers
Last Updated: 11/18/2020 at 5:54am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 4th, 2016 4:43pm
Take a deep breath, and relax. It's never easy to sit with the feeling that everyone's going to leave you, but if you really think about it you know that the people close to you love you. Remember that.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2016 6:43pm
I wish I knew the answer to this, if I did, then maybe i wouldn't have such issues with forming bonds or attatchments to people. I might be able to trust people more easily as well
Anonymous
August 26th, 2016 11:24am
Well you need to learn to just trust pistols and know that they aren't like that...... Some people do leave and it's life but it's okay
brightJoy72
September 3rd, 2016 12:47am
Well....no matter how it feels...not everyone truly does...even when we feel all alone I don't believe for a second the situation is hopeless.
Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 7:01am
Focus on why your valuable and why their life would be without you in it know your worth and why others need you
beautifulSky35
September 7th, 2016 11:21pm
If I had a feeling that everyone was going to leave me, I would feel very sad and low in myself. This would mean my self esteem would lower anger and maybe a change in my behaviour
Nivas
September 8th, 2016 9:30pm
there are several things that you can do, including understanding why you feel the way that you do, encouraging yourself, and talking to your friends about your feelings.Your feelings are just as important as everyone else's, try why you think like that, understand the situation in all angles ,be realistic,encourage yourself with positivism , talking or sharing to your friends will help, meditation will help to calm you down, understand the situation will help to analyse, and to get past it , there are many other ways too..
Anonymous
September 25th, 2016 7:35am
Our brains are like computers, and they want to simplify our life for us. They take our past experiences and crunch them down into 1s and 0s and give us expectations. If most of our experiences, or even if the first experience, or even if one powerful experience, is negative then our brains can tell us all experiences in the future that are at all similar to it will also have the feelings associated with it. We can try to change our thinking by replacing those negative thoughts with positive expectations as soon as they occur to us, such as, "I don't know for a fact this person is going to leave me, so I am going to have fun while they are with me and just enjoy it!" Life is transitory and people change, yourself included. It is not fair to expect everything to be the same all the time, so we must be prepared for change, however we must also be willing to accept new things as they come openly: without judging them preemptively for betrayals they haven't yet commited.
BeyondEmpathy
September 28th, 2016 11:41am
This sounds really scary and difficult. I wonder if talking about this further in a safe supported place would help you to look a the reasons behind you feeling like this? Maybe it could support you to share this with other people that might be able to reassure you that your are important to them and have no plans to leave? If you think this might be useful why not take the first step and discuss this with a listener?
DestenyG1
October 13th, 2016 8:41pm
Learn to understand that not everyone will stay but the right people do, nothing or anyone last forever.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 8:31pm
Just trust in the people around you. If they love you, they won't leave you. We can't trust in everybody but we can't not trust anybody either.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 1:38pm
Some people are only there to pass through your life and leave a memory or lesson. Others will never leave.
xagunia
October 30th, 2016 7:46pm
You can get over feeling that everyone is going to leave you by looking at what you do have and being thankful for those who are there. Do not worry about what has not happened yet and might never happen.
arinlaw12
November 8th, 2016 2:55am
Spend time around your friends, and make sure that they know they are loved by you. A good friend will never abandon you, remember that. If you still have the sinking feeling, just tell your friend how you feel, and they may give you that extra reassurance that you need!
Anonymous
November 18th, 2016 7:19am
It feels as if I don't constantly remind people that I exist, they'll forget about me. I always make a mental note or list of people who will always be there for me, or has ever cared for me. It helps me gain confidence and reminds me that I might be loved.
RumpleSteeleSkin
December 1st, 2016 3:02am
I learn to enjoy and cherish the time I spend and have with the people I care most about. They are here now
amiableTree17
December 10th, 2016 9:10am
I remind myself of how many people love and care about me. I make a tangible list to show myself, and pick out specific events in my life that remind me who loves me. In life we have many well wishers and sometimes we need to sit down and remind ourselves of this fact.
sereneSunset37
December 16th, 2016 11:53am
I don't think a person can get over feelings as such, its more a sense of no longer feeling like you need to rely on that feeling to survive. I find the best way to move on from a feeling like everyone is going to leave is to be aware that you are in control of your life and your future and no one else should be your prioritised source of happiness and reassuring yourself and having others around you reassuring you that you have done nothing wrong, you are a good person to be in the company of.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2017 2:55am
I don't know how to fully resolve that feeling but I hope that I can at least help. I too experience a fear of abandonment and am terrified of being alone. I'm afraid that my boyfriend, friends, and family will leave me one day to the point where it doesn't seem healthy. I just feel really sensitive over certain things that most other people wouldn't think twice about, and whenever a friend expresses the need for space, I would sometimes think that they do not like me. Sometimes, this fear of abandonment can be realistic and valid and sometimes it's not; really, we probably aren't as alone as we think we are. Once you realize that, you might start to feel a little better about yourself. Also, it is good to get used to enjoying your own company and to be comfortable in your own skin. Do things by yourself because really, you're the only one who you can confide in the most. The worst thing you can do is to abandon yourself.
faithlove1111
January 22nd, 2017 12:40am
Have FAITH in yourself. You are the best friend you have and you can do so much for yourself with so much love and care. When you love and are comfortable with yourself, you would certainly not worry about people leaving you, actually it might just end up with people around you worrying whether you might leave them. That's how valuable and wonderful you will be as you grow seeds of faith and tender loving care for yourself.
vibrantesprit
February 1st, 2017 9:51am
People come in and out of your life and will continue to do so for the eternity of it, but every single person brings new ideas, and new lessons to be learned. Some are meant to stay longer than others and some are only there for a couple days, hours, mins... However... no matter how many people wonder to and from, you are the most important person you will ever know. Always remember to take care of yourself first and foremost so you're always putting your best foot forward. Stop thinking that everyone in your life is 'going to leave'! You can't hoard people like materialistic things silly!~ Just remember to be grounded with yourself, and the rest will come naturally! xoxo
Gaara
February 3rd, 2017 2:03am
You remain as hopeful as you possibly can. Yes, I know this can be suuuper hard but even if some of those hopes are diminished you gotta keep hoping. After awhile doing that will become a habit and others will read off your "vibes", possibly becoming more attracted to you. Maybe even telling those you care about how you feel about the fear of them possibly leaving can bring relief. Just remember that if they weren't meant to stay in your life forever they aren't worthy of your time.
Nikita168
February 19th, 2017 6:09pm
Just remember one thing, that people who come in our lives come for a reason and stay with us as long as they are supposed to. When their role comes to an end in our life's journey they make an exit. Therefore, one should not get disheartened about losing someone dear but instead be grateful to them for sharing some precious years/time of their lives with us.
MavisE
March 30th, 2017 4:44pm
It is always good to remember that you are not alone. Even if it feels like it, I can assure you that someone, somewhere out there wants to be with you.
adventurousHazel
April 6th, 2017 9:09pm
It is so so important that you keep reminding yourself you are worthy, you are enough, you are precious and people leaving you are probably not worth worrying about. It's sad that loyalty is such a rarely found quality nowadays, but you can't beat yourself up about the actions of someone who clearly doesn't appreciate you the way you deserve it. If they see your true beauty and radiance, they will stick around you no matter what. And if they don't, they're not worth it. It's important you know, no matter what happens, whoever may come and go, no matter who will stay, the one person who never loses faith in you and will always be loyal to you and knows your worth is YOU. ♥
TheJake
April 20th, 2017 7:22pm
You need to reach out to the people who is closest to you and talk about that feeling of abandonment. Reassurance is a powerful thing, but you also need to understand that people who have been kind to you and feel the need to have contact with you truly appreciate your company.
PaytonGlover
April 23rd, 2017 3:17pm
Acceptance. It's a very long process, I believe no one really get over on this part. It's just we learn to live and to accept that nothing is permanent on this world because life is a continuous process. To have something to believe in, makes it easier to cope on this emotions.
MintTree
April 28th, 2017 2:44am
Surround yourself with people that accept you, that accept that you have insecurities, but who also try to make it better. Don't be afraid to talk to a therapist, or ask for ( if needed) medication. Keep a journal, and record happy memories.
ColorfulCactus
May 6th, 2017 11:50am
From my experience, people often fill in each others words. They assume that they know what other people think or feel. We are often wrong, and don't actually know how loved we are. Just because you cannot always see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. There is always someone who cares for you.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2017 6:19pm
Start by looking for evidence. Look around for people who have been with you. Understand that not everyone will be there with you till the end but that doesn't make the times they were there for you any less important. It's okay when people leave. Emphasize on the beautiful time you spent when they were there for you. The only person who will be there for you throughout is yourself. And that is completely okay.