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How do I get over feeling that everyone is going to leave me?

167 Answers
Last Updated: 11/18/2020 at 5:54am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
indigoblue789
June 1st, 2018 7:54pm
Remember, LIFE GOES ON, no matter what... this is one statement that is so powerful that nothing can be equal to it
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 7:33am
in life there is gonna be people who leave us. whether they just come in or we've known them for a long time. we can't force someone to stay in our life. acknowledge you had a good time remember that person. but also know that even though they are leaving they are still important to you but there are bigger adventures and fun things to look forward to in life even without them. it's hard.
SilentSerenityy
June 15th, 2018 11:07pm
You may be feeling this way because you feel that you do not deserve someone's time and that could be down to you feeling little love and respect for yourself. I would suggest focusing on learning to love yourself and realise that you are worthy of love and attention. There is nothing about you that would make someone want to leave you. Maybe think about all the people in your life that have been around for years and ask yourself what they like about you. Or better yet, ask them what they like about you!
phosphenerelief
June 17th, 2018 5:23pm
Invest time yourself and recognising all the wonderful things about yourself, then you'll start to realise all the reasons why people stay and why they do love you, and you'll be able to accept that regardless of whether people stay or leave that you're a wonderful, interesting person regardless. Also understand that when people do leave, its often not anything to do with what's going on with you, but rather what's going on with them.
courageousRose78
June 20th, 2018 2:35am
I know when I feel this way I go to people who have always been there for me. I also will tell them that I feel this way, sometimes a little confirmation from someone who is close to me is all I need to remind me that I have someone to go to.
hugzy72
June 28th, 2018 10:16pm
The only want to get over this is to learn to love who you are. A feeling that everyone will leave you is born from a feeling that we don't like who we are. So work on your relationship with yourself. Learn to like who you are, explore what it is you like about yourself, search within to see how you feel about yourself and work on self love. Once you can be your own hero, once you can be your own best friend, once you can be the person who is going to stand up for you and support you, then the fear of people leaving doesn't feel so bad, because you know that whatever happens you can rely on you. But the best thing is once you start to love and care for yourself, then you generally make better choices and don't allow people into your life that will make you feel insecure.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 10:26am
Think that everyone will stay, you're loved, keep the positive thoughts coming, fear is a liar
mmpls23
July 5th, 2018 2:48am
I used to feel that way all the time. A lot of different things can cause it, but for me it boils down to a fear that you are incapable of standing alone. So fix that! Right down a list of things you are scared to do, or things you've never done by yourself. Start with one, and tackle it. It sounds simple but it's incredibly hard. However in my experience, putting in the work to trust that I could function alone, without a SO or a best friend or a ___, changed my life. When I'm in a relationship, platonic or romantic, I now know when I deserve better and am capable of leaving for myself.
Amelia3591
July 8th, 2018 9:37pm
Be sure that you are the best version of yourself that you can be so if you ever do face loneliness you will not feel alone because you are surrounded by everything that you've always wanted.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2018 3:39pm
Feelings can be hard to manage when they become a habitual response. Sometimes just labeling a feeling really helps. Do you feel fearful, or anxious, or sad?
peacefulrose22
July 11th, 2018 1:35am
i personally feel that people come and go but the people that stick with you through everything are true friends and you don’t need the ones who leave you !
porsxh22
July 11th, 2018 10:31am
Talk to the people who make you feel left out! You need to face it,before you can get over it! Just talk to the people
HappyGoldenSunShine
July 15th, 2018 1:43pm
My biggest fear used to be left out feeling alone in this world. I only got over it after realizing that it is inevitable! I WILL END UP ALONE. I will die alone just like i was born alone; and i need to be okay with that! Why are we so afraid of being alone?! make friends with yourself and love it so much that you will never feel lonely when you're alone... and only then, you'll realize that you don't even care about other people. and honey trust me... no one is actually alone... there are more than 7 billion people on this planet and you can be with anyone you want... just make sure you choose well.. and if they wanna leave then so be it... there are still 7 billion options for you! meanwhile go out, meet new people, meet new friends, surround yourself with love, get a pet, study in a new class... you'll realize that people are infinite... you'll never run out of them!
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 6:27am
Find people who love you and surround your self with those people and also give love to them so they know your there for them
JustWantToListen
July 18th, 2018 3:51pm
When I feel that way, I try to divide my thoughts in what are actual facts and what are things I fear. I try to concentrate on what I do know and what is actually happening. Concentrating on fears of what could happen just stress me out because those are things I can't control. I try to work on what I can control, being honest with people around me if I feel things go wrong and taking care of my feelings. If somebody leaves me, it hurts, but it does not mean I am less than anybody else. I concentrate on the people who stay and want to stay. I repeat to myself that I really don't want people in my life that don't want to actually be there.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 4:54am
Know that the people who matter in the long run will stick with you and if they don’t then they weren’t worth worrying over in the first place
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 8:31am
quite honestly i feel as if this is something that can never truly be defeated of a feeling, its better however if you base this negative perspective in an honest more outside the box kind of way. "everyone might come and go at some point but its the fact that people cared enough to even involve me into their lives in the first place" the best of our friends family will stick around for us i promise you guys that but there is no real way to know who will be there with me till the end.
Mandyhaswifi
July 20th, 2018 6:58pm
I understand that the thought of it is scary but don't let it get to you. After all, it is simply a thought. You have people around you who care about you and even if you feel like you dont just remember that you always have a place here.
felixthecat
July 25th, 2018 12:54pm
Try to have more faith in those that you are close with. Also remember that you always have yourself (which is the most important person)
Anonymous
July 29th, 2018 1:40am
There are people who love and support you. Talk to the people who you love, and express your thoughts and feelings.
HereToListenForYou925
August 7th, 2018 2:33am
The feeling of loneliness is a scary feeling. No one wants to be alone. But truth is you are never alone! You have friends, family, and well... 7 Cups! If you do ever feel lonely come and let out your struggles. Because I am here to listen no matter what. Even if everyone else you have ever known leaves you, I will still be by your side! Because when felling lonely or left behind, all you really need, is a friend!! 😄
HappyHelperHeather
August 8th, 2018 5:45am
A good way to cope with this feeling is to prove yourself wrong. Make an effort to create new relationships and nurture your existing ones. As you surround yourself with people and grow in these friendships you will be able to better rationalize this feeling.
sherethelove
August 18th, 2018 3:57pm
Try to join or do things such as work out do some of your hobbies that will help you to think about other things in order to remove those thoughts from your mind.
Surruh
August 22nd, 2018 8:21pm
You have to know that the people that truly care about you will not leave you. Think about it, are you going to leave somebody you love and care about? No. You are important and your feelings are valid and you are special in your own unique way and the people that see that and appreciate it wouldn’t give that up for the whole world. Keep looking for those people! When people leave us, sometimes it seems like there’s no good reason either and it makes us question our self worth. Step one love yourself, step two let others love you. The ones that leave didn’t deserve our affection because it was expendable.
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2018 4:01am
Understand that you are valuable, and people enjoy spending time with you and your presence people who leave you were not friends to begin with. If they truly care about you than they will not leave you. I understand this because I used to be scared that people would exit my life as well, but over time I have realized that if someone chooses to leave my life they were not really a friend, and we’re actually a negative part of my life. By realizing this I was able to understand that important people in your life will not leave you because they are not toxic or negative
GuardianofCreative
August 25th, 2018 6:31pm
Know that not everyone in your life is meant to be there with you forever. Frequently people are only in your life for a season, and that is okay. Know that the people you have around you right now are there to help build you up and teach you about yourself in the world around you. Reassure yourself that even if the people around you currently do leave you, there will be others that come in to take their place. Know what to look for in healthy friendships and relationships so that it is more likely that you form a long term connection, and work on building the relationships you currently have into healthy ones that will last a lifetime.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2018 5:52am
You have to think positive. No one is going to leave you. Your just feeling very anxious and that’s okay. You have to tell your friends and family or any other close person how your feeling and they can help you through this. Just think positive, no one is going to leave you. Remember that everyone loves you for who you are. It’s okay to have these feelings just know that there’s always gonna be someone who’s there for you now or in the future. Make sure to overcome this feeling that your having right now so you feel that your not alone.
friendInDisguise
October 18th, 2018 1:29pm
In simple words, "People who care won't leave, and those who leave are not worth the pain and suffering you feel for them". If you are constantly worried that everyone is going to leave you, you should think about 'why you feel that way?' Why do you think you have to work hard for people to stay? Because real relationships/friendships happen when you can be your true self. Also, pay attention to the fact 'How much do you value yourself?' If your answer is 'not much'... maybe its time you understand that being happy with oneself is more important than making someone else happy and going overboard to keep them in your life. Slowly, you'll learn who among your closed ones can truly accept you just the way you are.
comfortableMoment03
November 2nd, 2018 5:20pm
People who care for you will stay. No matter how bad circumstances turn out to be in the end they will show up. So they are worth keeping and you should too care for such people. Those who want to go they will go no matter how much ever effort you put to make them stay. By keeping them you will disrespect yourself. Do you want to invest your time, energy and emotions on people who don't want to bother you ? They are disrespecting you. And you are also disrespecting you by bothering them. So who will respect you. You will be taken for granted this way and a new disastrous feeling will emerge out of you seeking counselling for anxiety and depression. So first become independent in life. Be confident to live life without depending on someone else. If people leave then let them go. If you want to justify your side then justify right then but not every time. Do that just once. People keep coming and going in life. We cannot force people what they have to do.
ChrisAm
November 7th, 2018 2:59am
whenever you get feelings of doubt that you are now good enough, tell yourself simply "STOP, enough" I LOVE MYSELF. I AM ENOUGH if someone is leaving you, its more for their disadvantage and u just didnt found the person that fits to you. you are a perfect being. just stop doubting yourself. thats the only thing holding u back to spread your wings and unleashing your full potential. it sounds so easy, because it is so easy. stop making yourself down. and from a different perspective, who wants to be with someone who always doubt himself. so step up, set a new standard and enjoy life stronger and more grateful than u ever did before.