Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I get over feeling that everyone is going to leave me?

188 Answers
Last Updated: 05/19/2022 at 1:32pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2021 2:41am
The thought of everyone in your life leaving is terrifying, irrational, and gives you a lot of unnecessary stress. The people around you aren't suddenly going to disappear without warning. You can take a couple of deep breaths and trust that they're here to stay. Have they actually given you a reason to think they're going to leave? Is this your insecurities speaking? If so, positive affirmations can help. You can repeat a phrase like "I am enough", and challenge your negative thoughts. And if people in your life do leave, that's also okay. It may hurt, but it doesn't determine your worth. You're more than your friendships :)
matcha007
December 29th, 2021 12:17am
This is a very valid question and it can be hard to deal with this situation as life continually changes and you are meeting and leaving people. My advice to this is that you invest in yourself and cultivate enough self confidence and self love to know that you got your own back at the end of the day. In addition, it helps to voice your concern to your loved ones and they can help reassure you! In the end, know that everything is always going to work out for you and there are many great memories and moments that will be ahead and that you have been able to live.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2022 8:48pm
Start to be more comfortable with yourself, sometimes loneliness is not a negative thing unless you depict it as so. You can be emotionally indipendent from others and remember that you only are the key of your happiness, in addition, sometimes unconsciously when we are alone, since we usually believe that loneliness is a negative and toxic experience, we don't enjoy things that we will usually have enjoyed in company. Start doing an activity that makes you happy or satisfied when you are alone, so you will understand that happiness doesn't always come from others, if you want you can be happy even alone
Vithleem
January 15th, 2022 5:14pm
First of all, it might help you to take some deep breaths at your own pace. Take as many as you want for as long as you need. Then, it might help to write down some things that you have accomplished over the years- it can be the smallest thing, you decide. See what you have written and feel prouf of them all; it doesn't matter how many things you have written. Then, remind yourself that everyone is worth acceptance, respect, love and compassion- including you. Sometimes you might feel doubtful, but you can overcome this. It can happen to everyone. Finally, you can try to show your appreciation to the people whom you care about in a way that comes natural to you. If this feeling doesn't seem to go away, you can always address a professional who will listen to you carefully and give you appropriate feedback.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2022 2:44am
You check the facts and make sure the message you’re giving yourself and ask yourself “Do I have proof that this is likely to happen”? Whether you have proof of it being true or not, you have 100% success rate of being able to handle it either way. Ask yourself why you stay for others? What kind of people do you want there for you and be that person to others and most importantly to yourself. Imagine what might happen if people do leave, think about those who have left already, and imagine how you would hope you would handle it. Come up with a contingency plan to care for yourself if that situation should arrive, write it down and be specific. This way if your worst imaginable situation does arise you are prepared and you are cared for by the one person who will always be there … YOU.
Yati2
April 14th, 2022 9:41am
By accepting the fact that people do leave and its their choice. There is no need to think or imagine what would be consequences. If someone leaves there can be some reason which has nothing to do with you. Moreover if one can focus on building healthy relations, may it be friends or relatives, thought of their leaving becomes pointless, bcoz we realise its not something one can control. The idea underlining fear of someone leaving is a guilt that other person is leaving because of me, which is again a presumption. If we just be who we are work on relations with whom we feel comfortable, nothing else maters or to be concerned about.
WendyChatter
April 24th, 2022 4:07pm
Sometimes, something that happened early in life, and one significant, gets stuck in your subconscious. It Becomes a part of you Even if it’s something that logically you don’t believe. Usually, if you repeat something over and over to yourself, maybe 30 days, your subconscious will finally realize, wow! This is important to me. I better remember it. Your subconscious will replace the new idea with the old idea. This isn’t simple to do of course because the old idea is stuck. But it is possible. Write yourself an affirmation, and put it somewhere where you see it every day, whenever you say it you should try to really mean it. An example information: I am worthy of long-term relationships in my life. My friends enjoy my company and come to me because I am fun, reliable and trustworthy. Family or friends that do walk away, will come back, after they work out their issues.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2022 1:32pm
The fear of abandonment can come from childhood loss or neglect as a child, especially if it is more emotional. Generally, those who have a fear of abandonment feel they are not worthy of being loved. For example in the case of being neglected as a child; when a child is attached to somebody and the person leaves them, they are left feeling that they are not fully loved. Even though this is likely not the truth, the child wonders what made them unlovable. As an adult, they may still feel there is something about them that makes them unworthy. The first step in overcoming your fear of abandonment is to realise that you're worthy of love, flaws and all. I.e: if you're in a relationship, don't let it become your identity or centre of worth. A relationship does not define you. Remind yourself that it is not another person's duty to make you feel emotionally secure. That security first comes from you. Try to consider where your fear of abandonment started in first place. You may never entirely eliminate your fear of abandonment but you can control your reactions to the fear. If you begin to recognize the fearful moments in your relationships, you can direct the thoughts into a positive self-talk. Also, it's important to accept the idea of being alone. Your worth is not based on your relationship status or how many friends you have. They're plenty more ways to overcome your fear of abandonment.