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How do I know if I did the right thing?

280 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2022 at 8:57pm
How do I know if I did the right thing?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
JK8287
September 28th, 2018 12:48am
You don't have to worry so much always if you did the right thing. We're on earth to learn, so making small mistakes is okay. As long as your intention and heart is pure, there's really no such thing as a mistake (it comes when you "miss taking" a lesson -- true mistakes). Another thing that may help you is to know the distinction between guilt and a pinch. When you've really done something wrong, you'll feel it in your body. It will make you wretch almost, you'll feel so bad. And that type of pinch is always about the result of an action, whereas guilt is this nagging thing, like being in this nether zone where you can never relax. I would say feel your pinches deeply, but drop your guilt totally. You are made of love.
Anonymous
October 17th, 2018 1:53pm
It's not always easy. We often overthink and question our decisions. The truth is there is not one perfect way that works for everyone all the time. And there is no one besides you that can tell if you did the right thing. You can feel it and just know. Sometimes it just takes time to see if what you did was right. And that's okay. Be patient. Also don't be too harsh on yourself. You are doing what you feel is right in a certain situation. We are always learning. So, don't be afraid of making mistakes sometimes, that's how we learn :)
snickerpoodle
November 11th, 2018 6:10pm
Ask your self how it made you feel. How do you think it made others feel? Were your actions or words kind, were they necessary, were they true? If it was at least two of the above, then it was probably right. If you feel that you have somehow hurt yourself or another by your actions, that is not always a bad thing. It just so happens that sometimes pain or a little uncomfortableness are needed to make a difference and move on. Being rude is never needed, you can express your beliefs politely, try not to lie and I believe that you have done the right thing.
Serenittyy166
November 22nd, 2018 1:20am
There is no right or wrong or even easy way to tell the difference everyone’s opinions or ideas will be different sometimes similar but not always the exact same if I forgot to brush my teeth just once in my life do I think I am wrong? No. Other people might and that’s okay. I say you know if you’ve done the right thing if you feel it in your mind in your spirit in your heart when you do it not 48 hours later when guilt or doubt sets in but in the act if you were sure in that moment it must’ve been right for you.
Tao33
December 13th, 2018 6:52am
Do we ever really know if we did the right thing? Your gut and your heart are good barometers. If they align and agree, you probably made the right choice. But what I know for a fact is that the only wrong choice is not choice at all. It’s far better to have lived and loved and lost than to have never have lived and loved at all. So, see doubt as a learning opportunity; a chance to adventure into questions that might further elucidate matters. Sleeping on it is always a good idea, if you’re not sure which choice to make. Also, quiet your mind, sit with yourself quietly, and ask yourself, What is the best course of action? Oftentimes, when the mind is quiet, the doubt dissipates and this, the answer is free to rise.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2019 4:32am
You don’t, really, and the only thing you can do about it is to accept it. Life can be confusing and sometimes we make mistakes. That’s okay! You may never know if you did the right thing, or you might realize the answer one day out of the blue. Whatever result had happened, it’s important to remember that we’ve already done it, and to learn from it. Overthinking can be the cause to many problems and the best thing to do sometimes is to just say ‘to hell with it’ and try your best to being your best self.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2019 12:51pm
You can never know instantly. If it felt right for you in that moment, it was probably the best option you had, but you can only say it for sure after some time has passed and you can see the consequences of your actions. However, I think there is no such thing as the "wrong" thing to do if your intentions are good. Rethinking and lining out all the "what if I had..." can easily cause stress, anxiety and insecurity, so try to stand by your decisions, even though it's very hard sometimes! Also, there is no definition for the "right" and "wrong" thing to do, there will always be people who are affected in some way, and there is nothing that is good for everyone.
wildflowerbee
February 22nd, 2019 9:52pm
You know you have done the right thing when your heart is at peace and is content. And you feel proud of the decision you made. And you know that no matter how many times you go back and are in that situation you'd still make that same decision. That is when you know you have did the right thing or made the right decision. It's as simple as that, yet it's not so easy to get there or make a choice that makes you feel that way. But when you do make that choice or you do the "right thing" know that it's the most beautiful albeit sometimes difficult and painful you could have done.
CarpeNoctem22
May 22nd, 2019 6:35pm
It depends, is it something worthy that won't be making you problems after or make you anxious, is it something that will do more damage than good? Sometimes we have to give up on something to embrace something better. That scenario doesn't happen ways but sometimes a sacrifice is needed. We just need to think about it, writing it down could help so that we can remind ourselves in the future. As long as it makes you feel good, makes you a better person then it shouldn't be devastating at least.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2019 8:53pm
A good way to tell if you did the right thing is by looking at the consequences, either positive or negative, of your action. If others are doing better and you feel like you have had a positive impact, then that’s a pretty good way to tell that you did the right thing. If not, a way to tell whether or not your action had negative consequences would be to look at those around you and how it impacted you. Overall, you decide whether or not what you did was good for you, but you will still need to look at how your actions impact others.
Artist13
December 15th, 2019 4:10am
Visualise different outcomes and evaluate each and every one of them and weight the pros and cons. It can give you closure if you do so and then you will feel confident about what you did. Also, before you act, do the same pros and cons list so you can kind of predict what will happen following the event. You also know if you did the right thing if you talk about it with someone, like friends, family, siblings or listeners on 7 cups. Closure is a miracle cure for anxiety about performing a certain act and that is why it is crucial to know if we did the right thing
beautifulsoul247
December 26th, 2019 4:54pm
People have different belief systems. I believe that humans have an internal guide that lets them know if their actions are right or wrong. There are different labels for it. For some it's the conscience, or gut instinct, or logic. Some people listen to it and some ignore it. This guide is relative. As stated earlier, it is based on personal beliefs. The beliefs, in turn, are influenced by external factors. Such factors include, but are not limited to, the law or religion. Other people's actions are guided by the carrot or stick. Which basically means they're motivated to do right if they will be rewarded. On the other hand, they refrain from doing wrong, out of fear of punishment. What do you think describes you best?
Egeking
January 19th, 2020 4:17pm
Our positive emotions are the best markers for knowing whether or not we are making good choices. If you are uncertain about what is the best direction to take in a particular situation, you can start by tuning into the feelings in your physical body, and also your emotions. When you consider taking a particular course of action, how do you feel? Is there calm? Is there anxiety? Often our true feelings will be masked by fear, so it is important to really take your time to consider how you really feel.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2020 7:11pm
I require feedback from members i listened to and apply all rules i ahve learned and read at 7cups carefully with love and compassion to be kind and active listener so people feel listened and appreciated their feelings so feel less lonely people need this so they be less pained and less alone on this wide world they need to feel heared so i show help compassion sympathy care time and as long as i am alive i will help them with all i have learned from this powerful application i strongly believe that people should be there for each other when we have time and energy
MoustacheMan1899
February 28th, 2020 1:01pm
Well there's a good way and a bad way to perceive things. The bad way is that there's no way of instantly finding out if you did the right or bad thing, you just gotta follow your guts on the spot, and whether it was the right or wrong thing to do will show itself throughout the circumstances your choice will trigger! But, the good news (unfortunately not seen as such by everyone!), is that when we make a mistake, instead of reflecting on them over and over again making us feel even more bad about ourselves, we can take them as advantage, and even if it's hard to forget and look at it this way, use them as experience for the next times to come! It works for EVERYTHING, trust me, that's where the proverb "never too late" comes from, because we people have this amazing power to learn from our mistakes and therefore making us more aware and stronger than before for the next obstacles of life to come! Therefore, if you DID make the right choice, good for you, however if you did not, you'll eventually get over it, but just don't forget to make it count! -Good luck :3
Anonymous
April 9th, 2020 5:50pm
You always know it’s the right thing, when in the end there is peace. – Oprah Winfrey It's human nature to second guess since we will never be sure that if we did the right thing or not. Our positive emotions are the best markers for knowing whether or not we are making good choices. If you are uncertain about what is the best direction to take in a particular situation, you can start by tuning into the feelings in your physical body, and also your emotions. Trust Your Gut: the old intuition tactic is tried and true. The best feeling that you can have in that position is to know that you’ve done your best and that you had the courage to do whatever you felt right. At the end, Life can hand us some difficult situations which can cause us to feel torn about making a decision that is the “right one” versus the “unethical one.” Further, when you are faced with a difficult situation, the right answer may not always be very popular. But, as the saying implies, the “right thing to do” is almost always *the right thing to do*.
Niktu58
April 10th, 2020 4:48am
I have found there are several factors that go into doing and knowing that I've done the right thing. I make an effort that what I do is fair to myself and others. A win-win so to speak. At times the right thing is doing something that meets both my immediate and long term goals. It works for me today, tomorrow and next year. The right thing can be challenging; the big picture of cause and effect can't possibly be seen at the time a decision is made. Making the best possible decision with the circumstance and information I have usually results in getting it right. Sometimes I'll find out later that it was a good decision but don't have a way to know at the time. On occasion it just wasn't right, but I've learned a valuable life lesson. If necessary I try to right my mistake if possible.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2020 8:11pm
It really truly depends on what the right thing seems to be. Have you considered all the possibilities? Weighed a few pros and cons? Lastly, is this action aligned with your core beliefs? If the answer is "yes" or "mostly yes", I'd say you're likely making the right choice. Figuring out the right thing is difficult, and all the steps take time, so don't feel bad if it took you longer to figure out what the right choice was. That's absolutely okay. Not everything in life comes easily, and our decisions often reflect that. I wish I could tell you "oh, you'll feel it in your gut" or "it'll give you a rosy red feeling" but I cannot. Everyone experiences decisionmaking differently. And what might be right for someone might be incredibly wrong for another. But working with what you know and believe is a quite good place to start.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2020 7:23pm
If you did the right thing, you'll feel like you did it. You'll know you did it. It's sort of like this feeling that feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest. You'll feel way better. Sometimes, we doubt ourselves so we don't know if we can trust ourselves. Trust your instincts. They are never wrong. A lot of the times we wonder if we did the right thing. Sometimes, we can't do the right thing. Maybe it's because of the environment we live in or the people we surround ourselves around. We did the best we could and that's enough
Anonymous
May 6th, 2020 4:31pm
To know if you did the right thing or not, your reaction will tell inside you. No one is a bad person. If you know, you will know; you can feel it. Now, to really tell if you have done the right thing, the most powerful proof is the peoples reactions. Whether it is the facial expression, tone, or even emojis on text. Doing something good for others and yourself is always a huge impact and no matter what, it will affect many in a favorable way. Now its not always completely easy for everyone, but by taking small steps from covering your mouth, to even cheering up someone, it leads to a huge accomplishment! Furthermore, as i said its not always easy, it may not always be what people want to do either, but by going beyond what you think you can't do or want to do, doing the right thing leads a pathway to happiness and at the end, you will see the progress you have made.
CarlAmber
May 20th, 2020 3:06pm
I am not sure if we can ever really know if we did the right thing. I guess the main way that you will know if you did the right thing is if it the outcome was aligned with your core values and beliefs . If you felt that you remained true to yourself and your core, this is very important. Also I believe that if the outcome was beneficial to those around you, is also a good indication. I think it’s really a feeling that may indicate to yourself whether you have done the right thing or not. It is very subjective.
Keepyourmindcalm
May 23rd, 2020 5:08pm
Well... this is a really difficult question to answer due to the complexity and vagueness of the two notions -right and wrong. I'm afraid that no one can define these two concepts. However, from personal experience, I would advise you to think about what you did and what you could have done differently. If what you did was the best thing you could do, given the circumstances, you answered your question. If you could have done something differently, attempt to "fix" it and try to avoid doing it again. AND REMEMBER, we cannot always be right. Take care and be yourself. Kind regards, Keepyourmindcalm
HippieLexi
May 28th, 2020 10:53pm
If you did the right thing, you will feel content with your decision. When you don't do the right thing, you might feel shame, guilt, or remorse. Doing the right thing is subjective. It's based on your morals. Did it benefit you? Did it benefit somebody else? Were you helping yourself or another person? In a non-selfish way? Do you feel good about yourself after you did it? Would you feel comfortable if your grandmother knew what you did? Do you think she would approve of this decision? if you answered yes to these questions, then congratulations! You most likely did the right thing! But if not, its not too late to turn it around and apologize and do the right thing going forward. Hope this helped!
soothingBreeze49
May 30th, 2020 1:48am
Sometimes I feel I can’t know for sure if I did the right thing or the absolute opposite unless I go to the future or something like that, but sometimes you can actually know. Your gut feeling is more accurate than we think. When we are anxious about something and then we did something to ease this feeling, right away you will feel if you did the right thing or not. Are you feeling relieved? Or like a huge burden has been lift from your shoulders? Do you feel like you can now focus on something else because this has been dealt with? All of these show that you did the right thing.
Anonymous
June 5th, 2020 9:04am
It is sometimes hard to do the right thing....and second guessing ourselves is human nature. However, if you truly act with your best interest at heart keeping in mind the best interest of others as best you know how second...then I believe it is a pretty sure bet that you did the right thing. If in hindsight you find that it wasn't the best possible choice, then so be it. Clean up what you can of any damage that may have been done and then FORGIVE YOURSELF, because everyone makes mistakes. Lastly, no matter what...if you did the absolute best you could with your given situation....let it go, sleep well and know that you learned something important that will help you do better tomorrow.
CelloandMellow
June 5th, 2020 8:54pm
Often, a situation has many different answers, and we are unsure if we did do the right thing or not. In truth, there is no one right thing. Many factors play into our decision making when we are faced with a difficult situation. Our own interests, the concerns of others, and circumstances out of our control can weigh heavily on our final decision. In the end, we will always make the choice that feels right. Whether it's right or not is the question that is most commonly asked when it shouldn't be - the more relevant question is whether or not you made the choice that you are going to be most happy with, and whether or not you made the choice with the best intentions.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2020 3:47am
If you feel in your heart that you have done the best you can. You know yourself best, and if you know in your heart of hearts that you used all available information, took care not to harm yourself or others, and explored every possibility, then you must have done the right thing. Also, remember that nothing is unforgivable. There is always an opportunity to learn and grow, especially if a mistake has been made. If you do your best to change any negative behaviours, no one will be able to judge you for them. Stay confident in yourself!
brightSnow33
June 19th, 2020 11:18am
Knowing if you are doing the right thing can be hard if there is more than one option available. My approach is to break big life decisions down into smaller pieces to make them more controllable. Usually, from these smaller pieces, I get a good internal feeling on the way forward. Also, deciding to trust myself knowing what is best is an active choice, and listening to my gut feeling before and after the decision helps me to prepare and re-confirm. The voices never differ for me, and it is a good feeling of confirmation from myself to myself when checking in after a decision has been made!
Anonymous
June 27th, 2020 9:25pm
Ask your heart. Human beings are full of emotions. When you do the right thing, you feel good about it. If not, you will get anxious about it. The only exception is when you have the habit of being too harsh on yourself, the anxiousness may be something else that needs to resolved. For example, you have a poor die. Eating too much junk food makes you sick. So you decided to cut off the habit by preparing healthy meals for yourself. There will be quite some extra work to deal with regarding meal prep. You stick with the plan for a short period of time. Then you want to give up. Is it right to give up? You think about how great you feel after you switched to a healthier meal plan. The great feeling in your guts lets you know all tedious prep work is worthy.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2020 4:18pm
I personally dont know your situation however i have always personally lived by i have done the right thing if it is going to be better for my personal physical and mental health in the long run. And i always tend to trust my gut instinct. You need to have confidence in youself and your descision. It is difficult and sometimes will feel unnerving but time will tell and you need to stick to you guns. I hope this has been of a small help it is just difficult when there is no context to what you needed to do the right thing for.