How do I stop thinking about someone I'm obsessing over?
Last Updated: 07/19/2021 at 12:42pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
My suggestion, from the bottom of my heart: FIND AS MANY HOBBIES AS YOU CAN FIND!!!!!! There is no need to be obsessing over somebody, whom, odds are, you don't occupy any space in their mind. No need whatsoever. If you're having trouble letting go of this person, and constantly feel the need to keep track of them, what they're up to, finding whatever information you can, I suggest some deep personal reflection. Then do something productive with yourself. Exercise, take up knitting, go for a walk....go for another walk. Talk to people in your life that you care about, and care for you. Bury yourself in work, or the best thing of all which ties everything together: obsess over YOURSELF. Take care of yourself! Treat yourself! Don't let this person live in your mind rent-free. Ask yourself: How is this positive, that I am obsessed with this person? How does it validate me, when I find something out about them?" The answer is that it's not positive, and it doesn't validate you.. You validate you. Become obsessed with yourself, be selfish, do things for you and you only, and you will see amazing improvements. If you're unsure where to start, talking to a therapist, or a professional who can assist in cognitive behavioural therapy, is a great way to get you started and get on your feet. I'll say it one last time because I want it to stick: OBSESS OVER YOURSELF!
Obsessive thoughts often appear to waste so much time. Students find it so hard to study when they keep day-dreaming about their crush. One minute, a guy is sending countless phone calls, the next minute his relationship ends. Grieving the loss of a past relationship can be difficult and the person may succumb to depression. Sometimes, talking about your obsessive thoughts to a listener on 7 cups can provide relief. If it still is a problem for you to distract your brain from spending all your time fantasizing over somebody, you might have to seek professional help. It might make your life much easier.
I know this sounds biast, but think about their flaws. Maybe there was something in general you didn't like about the person, looks or personality. It will help you think more of "Why was I obsessing over this person?" It really does help, from personal experience. It may sound mean, but if your trying to stop thinking about them, it's really the only way.
Don't try to stop thinking about the person at all. The more you try, the more likely you are of failing to. Imagine me telling you not to think of a giant green, blue polka-dot giraffe; what are you thinking of now? Hehe... I say, think about the person, and think of other things and people, too. Let the thoughts flow and turn them constructive. Eventually, going about your business like it's nothing to worry about will actually make it something to not worry about. : ) Sincerely, I hope that helps.
I went through this...hard. I realize what I was obsessing over wasn't even real. We were both single parents and he had filled me with promises of our future together. We would buy a big house for the kids, join incomes, have a long faithful marriage. All the things I wanted. In retrospect those were the things I was obsessing over losing. In actuality we ended up together for years living separate with him never fully committing and those promises and dreams never acted on. He knew what to say to keep me hoping. When I focused on reality, his cheating, non commitment and false promises it helped. Sometimes it's not the person you've been obsessed with but the ideals and beliefs you had surrounding the person. If you're obsessing they probably aren't coming true and you might not be fulfilled and it might not have ever been .. reality.
A good way to get someone out of your head is by hanging out with others and meeting new people. By doing this, you are filling the void that this other person has left by you not being able to be with them.
If you're obsessing over someone and don't want to be then ask yourself, "what do I want" and go for it. And keep pushing for it. And if you're asking, "what good would that do?" let me tell you, you'll begin to think about what you want, then how to get it, and after once you've got it, all you've got to do is keep at it. And that person you're obsessing over might not be the number one thought. But in order to achieve this, you've gotta really want it. Because if you don't, then you'll continue to be in your situation.
Try to look at it realistically. Write down all your obsessions and figure out and realize how many are really untrue and exaggerated. Try to think what they're really like and try to think what the situation really is. Work on eliminating that feeling and getting rid of the thoughts that cause the obsession. Change your way of thinking about it.
I feel you, it's hard to get that person out of your mind. I find reading really helps when your thinking about "that person"
To stop thinking about someone you've been obsessing over, I would say: remove all photos, messages, and most importantly- GOOD and BAD memories. Surf the Internet, read, take walks. Just settle down.
It might not be a bad think to be obsessing over someone but if it is bothering you, then try to do other things to keep you busy and to get that person out of your mind. Be with friends, read a book, go dance! Do anything that makes you feel better or that takes your mind off that person :)
To stop thinking about someone your obsessing over you could do things like listen to music ( silly kind like old Brittney spears and Destiny's child) get your self happy also going out with friends won't hurt :P
Stop thinking to stop think. And think about someone you love. Simple as that. Try to make it practical
It will be hard, but look for a distraction, like any activity that will keep your mind away from that person.
This is extremely hard. The only thing that helps me is doing other physical activities like hanging out with friends or running so that my mind is busy. Slowly over time it will get better.
From my experience I joined the gym and I worked on myself I made new friends and decided to go back to school and learn something new in order to forget the person I felt I was obsessing over.
Firstly I'd suggest getting some physical distance if you can. Then work through why you are obsessing with them? Figure out what you want from them and if it's healthy and/or possible. Failing that, distraction is key. Spend time with friends. Join a new club. Read or watch t.v. Anything that will take you out of your head for a little while.
I try to see why my life is beneficial without them. Do I really need this person in my life if I have been fine without them for so long? What are some cons of the person themselves? What do you not like over the things you do? Sometimes when listing pros and cons of the person you may realize they might have more cons than pros. Obsessing over a person is a common occurrence I think. Finding distractions like story writing or creating art can be a great way to get your mind off the person. And maybe you'll find out things you never knew you could do.
Maybe draw, or do something you love to do. That'll probably take your mind off it, or you can speak with friends. :)
Channel your thinking into something else. Be it hobbies, other friends or work. If thinking about someone too much is dragging you down, find a way to make use of productively.
I stopped thinking about a boy I was obsessing over when I realized my own worth, that I'm pretty and kind-hearted without him. I'm good without him. It taught me a lesson not to hold onto deadweight. I deserve someone who sees my worth. You do, too! I know it! For me, it wasn't him. I keep my head up and focus on my happiness and goals. I put myself in his shoes and feel that he is safe and happy. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes expands your perspective and helps understand others. Healing takes forgiving others and ourselves. I let go of when I used to obsess over him; changing is how you grow, even if it's hard at first. Find other hobbies and grow who you are as a person without them. Put yourself out there to try new things, explore new interests, and make new friends. You’re doing amazing! I’m so proud of you for working toward growing!!
Pick up new hobbies/interests. It is difficult, but when you zoom out a bit, you'll realise that the world is much bigger and does not revolve around this one person. The more you gain new experiences, the better it will get.So try and go out or meet new people and not get consumed by your thoughts. You could also try listening to music, trust me it does heal. Also, dont be too harsh on yourself. Just give it some time, time heals a lot of things. So keep yourself distracted and with time you'll find it easier to get over this person.
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