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How do i stop thinking about that certain person who's left me?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 07/28/2020 at 5:28am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
August 10th, 2015 7:04am
It's hard to stop thinking about someone who you've got a strong connection with. However, it's a good idea to initially keep yourself super busy, so you don't think about it too much. Engage in activities that you like, anything that would make you happy. Over time when you don't think about them, you'd just get used to it. You'll probably never forget them, but oh well, you'll get more used to it.
November 17th, 2015 11:45am
It's weird answering this when this is exact same question I'm asking myself everyday, but after talking about it to my closest friends, I've realized that distracting yourself is the best you could do right now - Go out with your pals, read a (preferably non-romantic) book, watch an action movie, just anything to keep your mind occupied. and when you do when into those sad phases where you listen to sad music and just stalk their social media brooding the whole time, don't fight it :) Ignoring the urge to be emotional only hurts you more, it's okay to think about that person and cry over them, I promise it will get better by the day, be it days, weeks or months, your body and mind will gradually accept that there is life beyond what that person showed you before.
January 13th, 2015 8:21am
Focus on the important things in your life, don't worry about relationships too much they all resolve themselves whether they are meant to be or not.
April 5th, 2015 4:00am
It's hard to forget people that once was a big part of your life, but you have to sometimes push through. yes it's okay to miss them it's natural but remember they left and you will find people that needs you in your life as much as you need them.
July 28th, 2020 5:28am
This is a very good question. In our lives this is one of the most painful situation. Mostly we tey to 'NOT' think about someone. It's devastating when someone we love, breaks up, leaves or moves on but it doesn't mean that we should stop walking on the paths of our lives. We have to understand this, our brain works opposite. That's why the quote says, what you resist, persists. The more we will try to not think about something the more we think. So i instead of resisting the thought, please try to let it be. Since, the other person has already left, now what's the most important thing we should do? I feel that in this situation, the most important thing is to accept that it happens with everyone at some point and now we have to take care of ourselves as long as we are in this healing process. Do things which works for us to cope with it and always remember that giving time to ourselves to heal, is very important. The process could be slow, but remember that our body and mind always adapt and cope to the new changes slowly. Their are infinite possibilities, slowly things will be solved. Spring will arrive again and winter will definitely end. :)
July 20th, 2015 7:46pm
It takes time to overcome that. You need time to grief that relationship you once had with someone and it can be very emotional and hard but you can get through it. When one door closes, another opens.
August 3rd, 2015 7:21pm
Busy yourself. Lose yourself in something productive. A good book. A project. Homework. Anything that'll keep your mind busy. Soon you'll realize that you don't need them.
March 14th, 2016 6:11am
You don't stop immediately, you let yourself think about them till you don't want to anymore. You analyze your thoughts about them and that'll lead you in a path of self help. What do you miss? What have they given you that you'd want from people in the future? Essentially, once you understand that you can't change the past then it'll be easier to decide what'd be healthiest to do.
July 19th, 2016 10:16am
It's because they leave with pieces of your life and ultimately your heart. They feel like ghosts now, and with your passion, you keep them alive. It's no crime, and that person will surely embed in your heart, mind and soul. It's no crime to move on, remember that dusty old diary you left under the bed with all the secrets? It's still the same, it still contains what's dear to you. So smile, love, and live on, free bird. :) Thank you for reading! Much love, anon. :)
June 18th, 2015 1:24pm
i will thinking about me my good personality traits and i will adapt a attitude like that person does not deserve me and i wll think about my goals my life achievements and think about those people in my life who loves and care about me and i will be thankful to god for deleting a such kind of person in my life
January 18th, 2016 1:04pm
in my opinion , remember that no one deserves ur tears because the ones who do will never let u cry .also try making new friends or speaking to ur best one because in my opinion they r the ones who can comfort u .
March 20th, 2016 6:50am
Talk about your feelings with people who care about you so you're not constantly internalising.... it can be difficult to forget someone who's had a significant impact on you and it's not easy... youll be able to let go of feelings only when you are ready and able to. In the meantime if you find other interests to engage you in life, it will get easier with time....
April 5th, 2016 1:09am
You can't, really. If you loved them, no matter how much they hurt you, they never leave you. You simply try and let the memory of them fade.
August 2nd, 2016 10:38am
Surround yourself with people who love and cherish or go on a shopping spree and spoil yourself.
October 4th, 2016 1:23am
I have been through this very thing! The only solution I found to stop overthinking about someone who left was to keep yourself busy as much as you can. Cut off every means of communication. Block them and try moving on with your life. Spend more time going out and being with ones who love you. Keep yourself away from your mobile phone. X
January 30th, 2018 9:55pm
The energy you used to allocate to that person and that relationship must go somewhere: try to channel it in a creative and/or productive way!
May 17th, 2015 12:33am
There are many different ways to stop thinking about that certain person that left. The most obvious answer to this question would be to simply distract yourself with other activities. Running, swimming, knitting, and even gaming could be positive alternatives. However, for some, this is not solved as easily. In this case, get with friends and try something new. Sticky fish and rice may not be something of which you ever thought you would try; and this is fantastic, as maybe you'll find that this is exactly what you have been craving. Hope this helps :)
March 14th, 2016 11:49pm
well i would go out with some friends and try not to think about them fotr a little wile. it sometimes helped me when i was in the dumps...
November 28th, 2017 11:20pm
Sometimes the best thing to do is to just wait. Acknowledge your feelings, and it's okay to have them, and realize that they will pass, because that's the way life goes. It's gonna take time, and it won't be easy, but little by little you'll get able to rediscover yourself and open up to others. Stay strong.
December 12th, 2017 3:54pm
You should work and keep your self busy and find the reason why they left you if its a problem because of you , you should patch your self and fix that problem and if its because of the other person then that person is not worth your time and life and love
May 25th, 2020 4:43am
That is a great Question. One I think anyone who feels abandoned will ask. Although our minds will always revert back to what i comfortable, and what could have been, we need to find a way to ignore the chatter in our minds. The best way to do this is to find something that you have always wanted to do, or something that you really feel passionate about and work on that. We all have special gifts and abilities and now is a great time to find ours during these times. As long as we remain idle our mind has nothing more to focus on then the past. Its very important to give our minds a present task with a future goal. Our minds will find whatever it is that we tell it to seek.