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How do i stop worrying about family members with drugs and drink problems?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 11:42pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
March 10th, 2015 1:59pm
It is very difficult to witness the people you love make poor health choices and feel helpless to do anything about it. The best possible thing that you can do is to inform them that you care about there health and let them know how their behaviors make you feel. Offer them support in ending their addictions and reassure them that they are not completely alone. If necessary, seeking professional help may also be greatly beneficial. But it's important to remember that we cannot control the actions of others. It is that person's sole choice to change their behavior. All we can do is let them know that if they choose to fight for a healthier life, that we are their to stand right beside them. There are support groups for people who are struggling with loved ones that are addicted to Drugs/Alcohol. I've found them immensely invaluable. It's very comforting being able to sit down with a group of people who are in the same boat as you are and discuss how these events have effected your life.
March 10th, 2015 3:09am
You should actually get involved. Looking for groups like Nar Anon and also N.A and AA for the addicted . Family and individual therapy is also good.
April 13th, 2015 11:32am
I am sure that your family member/s will always be in your mind as I can tell that you care very much. However, I feel that there is a need to somehow detach yourself from the destructive choices that they are making. Unfortunately we cannot make the choices for others and we cannot be responsible for the choices that they make. I am wondering if you would benefit from having one to one counselling around this issue?
April 28th, 2015 10:09am
There is really no way to do that, we worry normally because we care, all you can do is give them the support they need and know that you have given them the best you can.
August 10th, 2015 4:46am
You Don't, you need to try and get them help, which is the hard part i know, i had/have THE problem. It's hard to make them see it, but thats the goal.
December 5th, 2017 8:26pm
Two cases. 1) Is newly addicted then can be stopped with less effort. Ask them if they really want to stop this or not. This might be the result of stress, depression or other stuff. 2)If one is addicted over longer period. Its difficult to get them out completely. Cause they are trapped in loop for years. They know they are wrong & feel guilty & selfblame so hard that they get stressed & to get over they take support of these things. Its rare that it can be complelety stopped. But more chances that the level/frequency can be brought down with professional help. Technically speaking, if you're worrying a lot. Then you're wasting your time in being useful to yourself. Cause in thinking about others the whole time you forget to develop yourself. When you realize this you yourself may feel depressed. So, firstly make yourself emotionally & mentally strong. Then help your near & loved ones.
July 20th, 2020 11:42pm
Alcoholism n Drugs impact family members just as it affects the sufferers. Family members need to to seek professional mental health professionals, physician,counselors, clergies or other helping professional for help. Seeking help protects the family member n sufferer from potential physical or emotional harm. Early identification is crucial because without help, family members can expect crises like police arrests, medical emergencies, death or many other undesirable consequences. So one should disclose any pattern of substance abuse, or behaviours and seek help from authorities. Be wary that the sufferers with addiction could get aggressive and angry as withdrawal symptoms and serious medical consequences unfolds. One could join family support groups for further support. Under no circumstance should one start blaming, arguing, and reproaching the sufferer because sufferers would be in denial, experience avoidance, have rationalization, issues that are tricky to deal with.
July 4th, 2015 6:24am
Realize that you yourself can only control yourself. Your action can speak louder than words. You can never control a person, but you can care about them. Let them know that you are concerned without being bossy to them. Let them know that you care. They may come around to your point of view, and if not, you will know that you have made your best effort.
September 21st, 2015 5:14pm
If the person feels more close to any close person,like a teacher,family member etc he/she should tell them,and if not police is better,but running away is the most dangerous thing to do,it's wrong
November 16th, 2015 2:23pm
Realize that you can't do much to stop them. If they're addicted, the best you can do is to help them get treatment. After that, you can't really do much.
August 16th, 2016 7:21am
Try to talk to them. Seek help for them in order for them to stop and take control. Keep trying and never give up
November 13th, 2017 5:28pm
Obviously by helping them... You can't be heartless for a family member
December 5th, 2017 10:45pm
I think with an impact on your life as big as an important family member taking drugs it’s hard to stop worrying as they are important to you. It’s better to focus on them as a person, they’re not the drug you can still love and have a healthy relationship with them even though you worry.
April 20th, 2020 9:10pm
It can be very hard to not worry about people you're not close to.Sometimes you're just have to accept that you cant save everyone.You must do what you can to support them but be careful not to allow them to scar you.Observe their behaviour.Do not try and preach to them repeatedly.Only do it once and allow their behaviour to be.They the ones who can take responsibility for themselves and not you.Allow them to do whatever they feel the need to do.Sometimes people just bring their own light to the problems.All you do is to remember them of the consequences and thats that.☺️🙂