How do I talk to my boyfriend about our relationship?

87 Answers
Last Updated: 07/16/2019 at 4:21pm
How do I talk to my boyfriend about our relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology

Counselor

I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
sweetWhisper18
February 25th, 2016 9:39pm
While there isn't any perfect way to address the subject of your relationship your current lover, it's a good idea to at least be sincere and not play the "Oh I'm fine" card. This relationship are part of who you are now and the sooner both of you clear the decks on this issue, the easier it is to move forward together, unblemished by the ghosts of the past.
Anticipation
March 3rd, 2016 5:06am
Relying on mind reading to keep each other happy is not convenient for most, so they instead work on communication. Honest conversation about your relationship in a very understanding environment is the best you can get for conversation about the past, present and future.
LucyCat20
March 12th, 2016 6:51am
face to face is good ask him if he can make some time to just talk to you for a few hours
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2016 1:38am
Talk to him like you would want him to talk to you. Try and create a safe environments for opinions. It's important you both try not to take things offensively, and try to be kind and compensation.
consigliere
January 27th, 2016 11:06am
going to a restaurant (where you can have some privacy and talk peacefully without much noise) and talking about it
LoveIsOurWeapon
January 27th, 2016 2:08pm
Tell him simply that you want to talk about things, Emotions and feelings should be shared and treasured in a relationship.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:19am
There are many ways to do this but the easiest way is to just tell them what you are going to say. By doing this you will get their honest opinion and answer.
happy22icecream
January 28th, 2016 7:20pm
I think the best thing you could do is to be honest and open with him.
CaringJoy
February 6th, 2016 3:42am
Sit down and have a heart to heart talk in a quiet peaceful environment without being judgmental or combative.
highMuffin
February 6th, 2016 9:22pm
If there is something you want to talk about do it straight - just sit somewhere private where you'll not be bothered and calmly explain what's bothering you. Sharing and listening are essential for a relationship and they can strenghten it
Fenixashes37
February 13th, 2016 11:56am
Just tell him the truth and be honest. No one likes to be lied to. Ask him what he need and want from you and vice versa.
GentleAngel10
February 13th, 2016 4:15pm
Being straightforward is the best way to approach any relationship. Just tell him what you feel. If he is really the right choice for you, he will understand.
L1ttleBlueB1rd
February 14th, 2016 6:51am
First off, I would talk to him in person. It's always better to talk face to face, especially in more serious conversations. Try to have your talk somewhere quiet and/or relaxing, like taking a walk, going to the park, going out to a small dinner, etc. Try to be open and listen. Both individuals need to be open and listen to one another for this encounter to be successful.
ConnyK
February 18th, 2016 12:00am
The way you asked this question. Just sit down with him and have a conversation with him like 2 humans engage in conversation. There's really nothing to hide and it's best to talk to him about ANYTHING regarding your relationship, taking into account that you're not cornering him or forcing him to do it. Let him have a say, you should both express your feelings and with conversations that tends to happen. You shouldn't complain about anything either and nor does he.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 4:30am
Find a time when you have some quiet and/or privacy. Be calm and try to use plenty of "I statements" to explain your feelings. Make sure you listen to him carefully and try not to jump to conclusions; clarify his statements when necessary and rephrase and restate his words to you. Make eye contact & smile when appropriate. Be honest, kind, and willing to hear him.
Ethan11
February 20th, 2016 5:52am
Just be open with him, put your feelings on the line. Sit down and have a heart to heart. :) Thats all it takes. It can change the course of a relationship.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 4:15am
Just have a sit down with him and discuss the issues that you are worrying about in a calm manner. It can be hard but you just need to explain to him you have some concerns or things you would like to talk about
OleanderSky
February 21st, 2016 11:55am
Simply 'talking' to your significant other can seem hard sometimes, but it's one of the easiest ways we can convey how we feel and what we are needing in the moment. Try starting off with 'Can we talk?' or 'I'd like you to know something.' It's never easy but establishing good, active communication is the best way to solidify a healthy relationship. People cannot read your mind, if something is bothering you or you feel like you need to say something important, just sit them down, and express yourself freely. Your partner will appreciate the honesty.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 3:30pm
Explain the possible difficulties you have and try to break the problem down to basic forms carefully.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 4:16pm
Make sure he's calm. Then explain how you feel. It depends how you feel if you are going to say you want to break up don't do anything fancy like cook him a meal just be normal. If you want your relationship to step up be nice maybe cook him a meal.
creativeDay52
February 22nd, 2016 12:53am
Tell your boyfriend you would like to talk to him about your relationship. Sit somewhere quiet and alone if you feel safe and talk to him or somewhere public if you don't feel safe,
Anonymous
February 26th, 2016 3:44am
In my own experience, I believe the first thing you need to do is address the topic you want to talk about. Try to be specific, and tell your partner how you are feeling, without blaming or blowing up on your partner. keep as calm as possible and remember communicating is not a one way street.
Basketballbabe13
February 27th, 2016 9:06am
This can be tricky, especially with someone who lacks in the communication area. But if you mean anything to each other you should be able to ask each other anything. And figure out what the other person is feeling. Just ask, and see what happens.
derpageddon
February 28th, 2016 6:01am
Just take him somewhere with zero distractions and tell him "hey, let's talk about things," and just say how you feel and let him say how he feels. Make sure everyone says and equal amount of whatever they want to say and make it about "us" not just "me."
Imherepeople8
February 28th, 2016 9:04am
LIKE A FRIEND. He just happens to a be a boy who is your friend with whom you have romantic feelings. No biggie
Anonymous
February 28th, 2016 9:05am
Having someone to love is probably the best thing you could ever do.Cherishing the moments is truly unforgettable. But not all roads to happiness are smooth. They are rocky, sometimes up , sometimes steep and some are so high. In order for the both of you to overcome this, is to trust each other. He will never become your boyfriend if you never trusted your heart. Have the courage to speak to him. Make sure you are not just hearing each other but rather listening for the both of you to understand.
GodisLove8888
March 2nd, 2016 6:22am
Just as simple as you asked this question. I mean, you should be able to talk to your boyfriend, easier than a stranger on here :) However. If it is a touchy subject (men are hard to talk to). Just try not to make him feel like your attacking him, but that it's you in need. Men love being the hero lol
HeyImIrina
March 3rd, 2016 4:23pm
We have many arguments and fights but we always try to talk about it in person. We usually start by saying what the problem is and then try to explain why it happened or what we could do to solve it. then we will text eachother and try to make things even better and stay happy. this helps alot because we are still together and we love eachother.
naturalDreamer26
March 3rd, 2016 7:33pm
You should tell him what you want to. Relationships need to be open and honest you need to express how you feel.
sunflowersandsunshine47
March 6th, 2016 5:49am
In person, or on the phone voice- to-voice if in person isn't possible. Just tell them where you're at. find out where they're at. Have a physical or mental list of things you want to go over