Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How is it best to cope with the death of a loved one?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 11/03/2020 at 7:35pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
April 8th, 2015 9:17am
There is no best way. Everyone is different. Some people find comfort in religion, some people distract themselves with hobbies and seeing friends, and some people deal with it straight on and allow themselves to grieve. You have to find the way that's best for you. The only wrong way to cope is to keep all the feelings you're having to yourself and struggle alone.
May 3rd, 2015 5:04pm
Everyone copes with loss differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way, and you deserve to feel comfortable in your healing process. However you feel inclined to cope, is probably okay as long as it's not detrimental to your health. Take care of yourself while you're healing. Be sure to stay hydrated and eat, if and when you can. It will get better in time.
August 4th, 2015 5:05pm
Keep something of theirs, listen to some music that brings you back those precious memory's of their presence on this Earth. You never 'get over' the death of a loved one so the best way to cope is by keeping their memory alive. Talk to people about how they made you feel, how good a person they were, and just tell people how much the person who passed away means to you. You can also keep photographs etc....
August 17th, 2015 11:11am
Coping with the death of a loved one is a very personal experience and there are no right or wrong ways. Factors such as the way in which your loved one died (sudden or expected), their age and their relationship to you are all influence how you deal with the experience. However there are some ways which are universally helpful, for example it might be a good idea to speak to a religious figure in your life, to reach out to family and friends who also knew your loved one and to be involved in a meaningful activity to honour their memory eg. A 10k run to raise money for people with the condition that took their life. It may also be helpful when you are ready to create a memory book with photographs and writing about their life. In extended or very traumatic situations it can be helpful to reach out to a support group for people who suffered loss and understand what you are going through, and sometimes counselling is a good option too.
September 8th, 2015 4:19am
Social support is important. Know that you are not alone; you have a community, family, and friends to help you get through the life changing experience. It's hard, and it's okay to grieve. But know that you will always have support.
May 8th, 2017 4:10am
one way to deal with the death of a loved one is to view them as not dead. The idea of Death can seem so permanent, but if we see it as a natural transition we can then see it as a stage of a journey. Research tells us that talking daily to the loved one who has transitioned is way to help deal. continue speaking to the person and use this vital time to make a spiritual connection. Finally, do not rush the grief process as there is not particular time frame to grieve, and it is okay to feel a sense of loss. utilizing a personal method of coping is essential to healing and acceptance of this new transition for all involved.
April 4th, 2015 4:54am
This may be one of the most difficult situation a person is put into. Sharing your sadness wih someone who cares may make a lot of difference. Talk to your friend, relative or family members about your feelings. Nature have given us the gift of forgetting things. Be brave, it will pass on with time.
September 8th, 2015 6:12pm
Loosing a loved one can be exceedingly hard, but one of my favourite qoutes is "good thoughts need to grow"; like that of a plant (it sounds silly, but bear with me!) your thoughts need time to grow. It's easy to loose yourself in negativity but distraction is key; focus on the new and positive things in life, because there are plenty when you look for them! Keep going, the pain will soften eventually I promise :)
October 27th, 2015 10:41pm
Make sure you see a grief counsellor. Talking to someone really helps, and will always be the best for you.
November 3rd, 2015 11:02pm
Give yourself time and space to let the grief take it's course. Accept that you will be sad, and angry for a time and there is nothing you can do about it. Stay in contact with your other loved ones, and be kind to yourself.
November 30th, 2015 7:20am
I have never personally experiences the death of a loved one that had a significant impact on my well being.
December 22nd, 2015 5:05am
What I did was create a journal/letter to them, I could write any time I wanted. I would write about everything I was feeling about them and what happened to them. Some days all it would say is "I miss you". But it helps. It's been almost 5 years and I still write in the book.
January 26th, 2016 9:21pm
By grieving. Let yourself feel sad and cry. It's completely normal to do this. If there is another loved one that you can talk to that might be helpful and there are also a number of support groups that help with loss. Your family doctor will be able to offer you advice about this.
May 16th, 2016 8:51am
There isn't a "Best Way" to cope. Everyone is different and reacts to these things differently. I lost my father at the age of 10. Sometimes I was really torn up about it, and sometimes I wasn't. To this day, over ten years later, I still have days I am torn up. The best advice here is to allow yourself to grieve however feels natural. If that means being really upset and crying- just let yourself do that. If that means not crying and not really feeling much sadness at all- That's okay too. It never hurts to talk to someone about how you are feeling. That could be a trusted friend or family member, A listener here on 7cups or a Therapist. But if you start to feel really depressed or suicidal during your grief period- please reach out to a professional. Call a hotline, go to the hospital or reach out to a therapist. They can help you.
September 13th, 2016 10:53am
There is no universal "best way", unfortunately. You can check in with yourself and your feelings by looking at the five-forms model (not everyone grieves "in order" or moves through the path in a linear fashion), and tailor your self-reflection to each form. Your loved one will always remain an important part of your past, and you can find ways to best honor them as you move into a stage of your life without their physical/Earthly presence.
September 20th, 2016 5:12pm
Everyone copes in different ways. It might help to just discuss all the good memories with a mutual loved one.
January 10th, 2017 10:17pm
Do your best to know that it is part of life and that they are in a better place and that there is still collateral beauty, and don't forget it's there in your life and you'll be okay. They will always be there in your heart.
February 5th, 2018 10:29am
Coping. You don't have to cope with the death actually. You have to cope with your memories with that loved one. Think about it yourself. If you didn't know about the person or in any way if all your memories about that person gets washed away. You wont feel anything right. The reality is the memories hurts. Because even if you try to find that person you can't possibly make memories with them anymore. But you have to understand that {memories = your existence} You are you because you have memories. Even if the loved one isn't here. That person is always there in your memories. Close your eyes and see that person smiling.
September 24th, 2018 1:52am
Talk about it as often as you need to. Talk about your loved when whenever you need to and don't feel like you're annoying other people by bringing them up. Listen to the music they loved, watch the films they loved. Keep their memories alive but remember to look after yourself. It's understandable that you're feeling fragile right now and you have to make yourself a priority. Everything will feel dark for a while but there is still light; it's just hiding away at the moment. Seek professional help if you feel you are really struggling. Remember that you're not alone and don't have to struggle with this alone.
January 28th, 2019 1:50am
Allow yourself to feel all the feelings as they arise. Remember the memories, cry the tears all your feelings to be felt and don’t hide them away. Take the love and memories that your live one left with you and find strength in it. Grief has stages and healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself while you heal. Don’t rush the process and try your best to take time to do things that get you out with friends and family to keep your spirits up. It’s easy to get lost in the pain and loss. It’s important to allow yourself time to go through the process of healing with out judging yourself.
February 5th, 2019 6:42am
I usually let myself just go trough the grieving process. It’s a natural human emotion. Suppressing the grief will only make it worse. However, sometimes when it gets to be too much, I will distract myself as best i can with chatting to friends, or putting on a movie. Talking to others who have gone through the same thing helps me feel not alone. I also like to spend time with family and appreciate those i do have while i have them. Losing someone close to you is very very hard, but it is one of those things in life that is going to happen, and is a universal experience among all of us. We need to be there for each other💓
November 3rd, 2020 7:35pm
It depends on the person. Grieving is very individual process, and it can be different for each person how severe and how long we are grieving. For someone it is a year, for someone two years... for others it can be whole life or many years. But It does not mean that you need to suffer the rest of your life. I think the most important thing is to give a time for yourself and your grieving process. Don’t rush anything and don’t expect to get a quick immediate relief. But at the same time remember that there are things that can help to ease these emotional pains related to grieving. The things that helped for me was mindfulness meditations and visiting psychotherapist. I think one of the most important thing is to not staying alone with your emotions, reach for support and help. It can be close friend, therapist or maybe some group support from other people who are facing the grief process. For myself, the therapy really helped, because the therapist is a stable support, on which you can rely on. In a therapy once or twice in a week you can visit your therapist and vent out all your emotions. In the hardest moments of grieving I let myself cry out, and after that I meditated, it helped me to grounding back in the present moment and restored me to focus on other life duties that I had. Later, a three months after I lost my loved person, I started to write letters, not much, just a few special ones, and even now, sometimes I write letters, for example I wrote letter in last Christmas. Of course sometimes when memories shows up, there are still tears, and it is naturally that you want to cry when you remember this person, but visiting therapy, crying out, meditating, it all helped for me. Also reading materials about grieving helped me and gave additional information about this mental state, for example have a nice reading materials about grieving process. Also, I think it is important to not forget your hobbies, your things that you loved and enjoyed before your loss. For example, for me, I really enjoy talking a long walks in sunny days in the wood or sea shore and listening music in my air dots. I encourage you to consider the things that you may enjoy, the things that can help you to get at least any relief and enjoyment. Best wishes Eddy.