Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to develop emotional detachment and not be rude?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 08/04/2020 at 1:03pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Christina Hussami, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Strengths-based, solution-focused therapist focusing on helping clients find life balance and navigating down their own path leading towards overall well-being.

Top Rated Answers
Arkelight
December 27th, 2014 9:51pm
Setting boundaries is important. People often have a confused perception of the difference between assertiveness and being rude. Letting those around you know what your expectations are isn't being rude, it's being assertive. Let them know in a controlled and calm manner and make sure that your expectations are reasonable in the first place!
heyitssaf
November 8th, 2014 9:26pm
I've had to do this a number of times in my life as a result of growing up with very damaging relationships. The important thing to do is take a step back and decide your truth. Separate yourself from hate, resentment, anger, or any negative feelings and say to yourself, "this person has a side of the story too that is equal in value to mine." Then, when the opportunity for interaction occurs, you are able to communicate kindly and respectfully, but also being aware of yourself and doing what is best for you, which is detaching yourself from them. Basically it's a mindset thing. Don't worry so much about how you will act. Change how you see the person and you will act rightly.
Thebreathingtree11
October 8th, 2014 4:25pm
There is a fine line between being cold and sortof unattached when someone reaches out to you for help. Ways that you can establish emotional detachment in your conversation would be to re-state what the guest is saying in a more objective tone, but then always concluding with a positive, uplifting manner. This shows the guest that you're there to listen to them and help them reflect on their own thoughts in a positive light.
Cephalate
October 21st, 2014 4:20pm
Keep the conversation in a professional yet positive tone. If any line is crossed, reinforce the boundaries by voicing that you are here to help them.
AllieElisabeth
October 27th, 2014 2:24am
Take a deep breath and try to understand it from the other person's perspective. Maybe they are sick and suffering and this behavior is a result of their illness
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 12:19am
Try not to to bring yourself into the conversation. Don't use words like I or me or refer to personal experiences. You're here to talk about them.
rainbowkitten
November 8th, 2014 5:45pm
Try to understand it from other people's perspective and try to conclude positive to show a guest that you are here to help him.
daniellebee
November 15th, 2014 12:15am
Just be honest and open but make sure you think before you talk. Think of how it would feel if someone said the same thing to you to prevent being rude.
giggleDay95
December 21st, 2014 7:43pm
Take a deep breath or go take a walk etc to calm you. A good way is to express emotions or feelings is to write your them down in a journal if you struggle with verbally expressing feelings
Erynn
December 17th, 2014 3:33am
Depending how the person you want to be less attached to you handles their own attachments, it may be hard or impossible to loosen your relationship with them them feeling hurt. However, you have every right to back away from a relationship. For some relationships, it may be simplest to just stop spending time with them as often. Some relationships need to be more direct, and you may need to ask for more time or space.
amandasw
January 6th, 2015 2:21am
Planning what you are going to say to make sure you use kind words and tone is a good way to prevent yourself from being rude. You'll have time to put yourself on other's shoes and figure out the nicest way to say what you have to say.
Farah95
May 8th, 2015 1:41pm
Maybe by understand the people out there and put the situation in our shoes.. As if we are in the people's place.
lucilledaniella
May 31st, 2015 6:53am
It's important that if you decided to detached from someone emotionally it should be a strong will because soon you'll get to missed the person and you'll keep on coming back from him/her. If you are ready, you must break it down to the person in the most light and approachable way to avoid misinterpretations and angry emotions. He/she also have the credit to know why you'll drift away and if he'she understands it the process would be faster.
Anonymous
November 17th, 2015 3:08am
Explain you persistion before it goes any further so you can leave when or if necorsery. It'll leave them with respect for you and their selfs
Anonymous
August 8th, 2016 10:26am
Be nice. Be kind. Listen and be interested. Setting boundaries is important. People often have a confused perception of the difference between assertiveness and being rude. Letting those around you know what your expectations are isn't being rude, it's being assertive. Let them know in a controlled and calm manner and make sure that your expectations are reasonable in the first place!
SuperSandi
July 10th, 2018 1:56pm
In my opinion, it has to be done slowly. Otherwise it could hurt you and the other person if you detach at once. Slowly and gradually has worked for me, it's like letting them down easily and softening the blow.
gracefulPalm90
April 22nd, 2019 12:04pm
Hello. Detaching can be a challenge because people are made to connect with others and have meaningful relationships. Is there someone in your life that you are not happy with? or perhaps this is a group of people that are negative? If this is the case, I would strongly recommend NOT detaching but ATTACHING to healthy people that will assist you to overcome those negative emotions. The seven cups community offers group support, individual free support and low-cost support from therapists! Remember you are amongst friends who would like to see you happy and we want to offer support so that you can remain strong.
Mirage8882
August 4th, 2020 1:03pm
Being detached emotionally, and not being rude to me sounds more like a space of proper boundaries. Everyone has their boundaries, and should be respected. Just because someone doesn't like that you said no to their request doesn't make you rude. It's healthy and normal to want to have space that is yours. In fact we all should have our own space in which we are able to say no thank you or I am not available. Focusing energy on self care- and knowing when it's not my garden to tend has done wonders for me. it's an ongoing practice for me but i try every day to do my best.