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How to forget my one-sided love?

170 Answers
Last Updated: 12/16/2021 at 2:25am
How to forget my one-sided love?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 1:58pm
So for me, I've had multiple instances where I developed a crush on a close friend who only saw me as a close friend. For me, the feelings faded with time, and I was able to remain friends with the person, but what helped initially was to imagine all of the downsides and realities of dating them. So, for instance, with close friends especially I would imagine what it would do to our friendship if we ever broke up. I would also think about the things that I didn't like about them and how that would make it difficult if we were to date and all the problems that might cause. I also tried to think about all the people they had dated before and how I was different from those people. Note, not in a they're terrible or they're so much better than me kind of way, but in a how am I different from their "type" and how might these differences mean that my friend would be unsatisfied with our relationship. In some cases, it also helped me to accept the fact that the person didn't like me back by directly talking to the person about these feelings. My hope in these instances was to either a. make sure they knew how I felt in case they actually did like me and just thought I didn't like them, but more likely b. that they didn't like me but could at least reject me outright so that my mind would no longer be preoccupied by the idea that we might be able to date some day. In these cases it's important to be careful not to show your friend how the rejection impacts you in order to maintain a friendship. It might be a good idea to tell another friend how you feel and what your intentions are (i.e. to ask your crush out, but you suspect it won't go well) and to ask them if they might let you talk about how you feel afterwards or help cheer you up while you work through your grief. Because, while you didn't date, it's still tough to accept that someone you like doesn't like you that way. But I promise it does pass. For me, it was toughest at the beginning, and then I'd only think about it occasionally when hanging out with the person, like they'd do something that made my heart skip a beat and then I'd feel sad for a little while, but after some time the thought doesn't even come up anymore, or if it does on rare occasion I don't feel sad anymore because I've accepted it, and we're back to being friends like the whole thing never happened.
Harshac
December 6th, 2017 3:46pm
The better way to deal with the one-sided love to tell the one you love that you love them. Based on the response you can decide whether to forget or not. Do not come to the conclusion without letting them know how you feel.
Clayne
December 22nd, 2017 7:10pm
Focus on loving yourself!! There are so many things to love in life, you get to chose which loves to pursue, so you might as well pursue one you know will be two-sided
Beanbbg
December 23rd, 2017 12:24am
Maybe try looking for someone who makes you feel more special, or maybe even try waiting a while.
magicalFreedom42
January 6th, 2018 5:12am
One should not forget a one-sided love/relationship, but learn from it. What did it teach you? What do you want differently in the future? How can you achieve that? Instead of dreading it and trying to bury the memories, try shaping that pain into lessons that can be learned and positivity.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2018 1:15pm
What worked for me in the past was finding something to do that I enjoy that keeps me busy. Having nothing to do can exacerbate problems, there are more pressing things to deal with in life than wasting time and effort on people that can not love you back. I'd say the one thing that helped me the most in the past was my dog. He saved my life and got me through some bad times.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2018 1:05pm
You can always count on your friends and family for support but, honestly, the best thing to do is just let time heal the broken heart. Sounds cliché, but it works.
HanaGB
May 23rd, 2018 11:39pm
Spend time reflecting on yourself, your life, and your self worth. Focus on the bigger picture and work on realizing that although there are many things in life that do not go our way, there are still many things that can go right - and finding someone who will love you back is one of them.
medlgbtoutandproud
May 26th, 2018 5:33am
Go out and meet more people. Spend time with others and get to know more new people helps with getting over one sided love. Don't be afraid to talk about it with your close friends before that. After letting all your feeling out, take some time to recover then continue meeting new friends and new people. Indulge in activities that you enjoy and love.
DarkFang74
June 1st, 2018 8:53pm
It might sound cliche but don’t we all want something from our life and we take our own decisions so when someone else takes a decision for his/her life, arent we suppose to respect that. If you love someone, you want them to be happy and that feeling is fulfilling. Of course it pains to be not with someone as you want to but friendship is important and you need not to forget love, love is not always being together in a romantic relationship. Love is the bond much more stronger than that. If you have not yet confessed about your feeling, be honest and confess it by clearly stating that this will not affect their friendship and no matter what the result is, you will share the friendship as it is. Speaking out something will clear your cloudy thoughts, assumption and apprehension's.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 7:00am
You just have to give yourself time to grieve about it. Yell, scream, cry, do whatever makes you feel better. Then, do what you love (for example reading, exercising) and that can make you forget your one-sided love. But, don't rush anything, take time because time heals.
DreamWeaver80
June 13th, 2018 6:03pm
It’s difficult to get past an unrequited love but it is possible. I once had an unrequited love for someone who was emotionally unavailable and it hurt immensely. What hurt worse is that he was nice about it when he told me he didn’t feel the same way. He tried to be my friend but that didn’t help me get over him so I had to distance myself from him and work through my hurt with time and effort. I didn’t not deal with my feelings. When they came up I didn’t push them down but rather allowed myself to experience them and ancknowledge they were present in my life. I made time to be with friends, pursues hobbies, went on random road trips to experience something new, and filled my life with quality pursuits. As the months went by the hurt became less and less. I never denied myself the feelings or pushed them down. That’s what helped me through the most. One day I realized it didn’t hurt anymore and I no longer felt anything for the guy.
PatTay
June 14th, 2018 11:50pm
Don't forget. Instead, love unconditionally. If you truly love someone, then you understand them, you accept them, you celebrate their freedom to be who they are even if that means unreciprocated love. Love is abstract and the feeling does not require you to burn yourself out looking for that validation. Be kind, be understanding, and love without conditions. Learn this, and you will never have to forget your one-sided love, rather you will expand your capacity to love.
juniper20
June 20th, 2018 6:59am
I actually went through something similar to a one sided love. Having feelings for someone who doesn't reciprocate them can be difficult and make you feel as if you are unwanted. My advice is to take a break from crushes and relationships. Wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worthy, that you are amazing and you don't need this person to feel worth it.
Junkberry
June 20th, 2018 7:31am
Love is a complicated thing. It is amazing but also can be the worst thing you have experienced. You might not forget it at all, but learning how to tackle the problems you experience with it is much more important.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2018 1:01am
Unfortunately, it isn't possible to truly forget your unrequited love; however, you can try to learn and move on from it. For starters, it will take time. Lots. You can also try to focus on improving yourself and making yourself a better person whether it be by studying, exercising, starting a new hobby etc. This can be a form of distraction. Seek comfort in your friends and family. Talk to people. If it seems like you can't move on, consider a therapist or a professional. I know this is very painful, and I wish the best to you.
SacredArtist
June 30th, 2018 4:11am
KNOW that you are good enough, worthy, deserving, and loved. Love yourself, know what the situation is telling you, and begin there. After a while, maybe you won't forget them, but the quality of the memory of them will change. And you WILL be able to move on. Look forward to the rest of your life and how what is in store for you, you can't even guess at. Therefore, who you're "meant" to be with is yet to come. Even if you have to give it a few tries. But do it all with love. Love yourself. Let things go. Hold things lightly. Focus on what you find beautiful and one day you'll notice someone whose looking at the same thing.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 2:14am
Forgetting an unrequitted love can be hard! The truth is, the answer to your question can depend on so many different factors. Time will heal a lot of wounds, and it's best to just focus on yourself and on what makes you happy! Surround yourself with good people, and put yourself first.
kindPanda75
July 11th, 2018 9:56pm
By moving on and finding a person that will love you as much as you love them, it is always a two way thing
Sunlights
July 15th, 2018 10:48pm
I understand going thru a heartbreak like this is though, but you always have to remember: he/she doesn’t deserve you if they don’t love you back, give your love to the people who do love you and care for you.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2018 8:02pm
Throw yourself into what you love. Go out and spend time with friends and remember to find happiness in other places. Pick up new hobbies and try new foods and always find a way to laugh.
wonderfulWaterfall19
July 27th, 2018 10:21pm
Try concentrating on something else, clean your mind. Going to the beach is always a good way to clean your mind. We trust and support you here in 7 cups.
Rozeedream
July 28th, 2018 8:37pm
By simply forgetting. Again I'll say don't think too much. Divert your mind to positive things that keeps you happy.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2018 6:10am
Everything takes time to process and forget. Do hobbies or activities to keep your mind off of them. Also, think of only the bad qualities than the good qualities.
wonderingsoul212
August 11th, 2018 10:53am
You can see what work best for you like find a new hobby, catching up with friends, find a new book to read, explore yourself more like get to know yourself better, watch new series or movies alone or wih friends, listen to new band. It's a way to tell you that you need to love yourself first. Good luck!
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 10:07pm
to be able to move on from one sided love is to be able to distance yourself from any situations you feel yourself catching more feelings, distancing uourself from the person you love is the best way to move on
Praticalsupport
August 15th, 2018 2:15am
Stop triggering yourself with thoughts of them. Allow yourself time to move on. Find other positive things to focus on such as exercise, coffee with friends, helping others etc.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2018 5:31pm
Love is never easy, especially love that is not reciprocated. In this case it's important to let yourself heal, and possibly even make space between you and the person you love so that you can focus on yourself. Things like pampering yourself, finding new interests and pursuing new things on your own can make you feel complete on your own and rid you of the feeling of needing someone. It may also be helpful to remind yourself that you are WORTHY of love and there are plenty of people out there who are willing to return that love. You just have to pick yourself up eventually, and go on with life by having your best interests in mind. :)
Mountainmystic777
September 2nd, 2018 9:05am
To forget one-sided love, one must start loving oneself with the same intensity they loved the other person. Try spending time with yourself doing things you like, pamper and spoil yourself. Try taking yourself out for dates to your favourite places. Discover your hobbies or new interests. A one sided love is at times hard to forget, so try spending time worth friends and family who genuinely love, appreciate and cherish you for who you are. Don't stop believing in yourself because you all are amazing and awesome people! Also, don't skip on meals, rather, give yourself a treat :)
vanillawest88
September 6th, 2018 11:01pm
Relationships are not easy at all. They are full of ups and downs, problems, emotions, etc. A relationship should always be two-sided including love. I think the best way to get over a one-sided love is to learn to love yourself first. If you are giving someone all of you, and they are not doing the same in return, its not fair. We have to bar for ourselves, and learn what we need. If we find a partner who cannot reach those bars, or does not want to, then we have to move on. We know we deserve so much better.