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How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

213 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2020 at 8:22pm
How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jannise McKamey-Bruell, LAPC


I am a nonjudgmental counselor that employs transparency, trust, honesty and integrity in her practice and in the therapeutic relationship.

Top Rated Answers
January 23rd, 2016 10:15pm
Trust your partner more. be a more romantic and share everything about what's bothering you and try to seek help
January 28th, 2016 4:59am
"Honesty is the best policy". I learned to be very straightforward and honest with my partner, and in return, she did the same for me. At first it was a little rough because we were afraid we might offend each other, but in the long run, being completely honest with our feelings really help strengthen our trust and our understanding of each other.
January 28th, 2016 7:14pm
I think the most important thing is to trust yourself. If you don't trust yourself, you may start to overthink stuff. :)
February 1st, 2016 9:43pm
Can you step back and break down why you are over thinking? Try writing these things down. When they are down, sleep on it, then go back to the list and see if you feel the same way. Are these things real or are they a result of your own thoughts? If they are real maybe you should try and speak to your partner about them
February 6th, 2016 2:20am
Communication is the main foundation for a good relationship but it doesn't always come easy. We should learn and cultivate the habit of honest and direct communication.
February 9th, 2016 6:57am
Trust is key in every relationship. but if you are concerned you may overshare or say more than you mean due to overthinking things, try writing everything you are thinking down. get it all out on paper. then you can see what has relevance and what doesn't.
February 11th, 2016 3:11am
Take a moment to truly analyze the situation and the people in it. Think realistically and work through it logically.
February 19th, 2016 8:41am
Be patient with my tips on how to stop overthinking Get an objective perspective from someone you trust Then stop talking about it Distract yourself – a practical way to stop overthinking a relationship Accept the fact that you overthink and it’s bad
February 19th, 2016 10:03am
Get out in the world and do something that you love doing. Talk to your partner about how you feel as often as possible.
February 24th, 2016 5:51am
Hi there, I know overthinking can make relationships difficult, so I hope this answer helps you out! Personally what I find helps the most is "instead of thinking - talk." What I mean is that instead of overthinking, sit down with your partner and talk to them about what you are thinking, where your mind goes when you overthink, and why you might be thinking so much about a particular topic. Sometimes the other person knowing how our thoughts process is all the comfort we need, and be enough to help us stop overthinking. If this doesn't work, I would suggest journalling. Sometimes we overthink for no reason, and maybe getting the thoughts out of your head will help. I personally journal on my computer because I can type faster than write - so I can keep up with all those racing-overthinking-thoughts. It doesn't have to be eloquent or "put together", just get your thoughts out. I hope this helps you a little. I know communication can be difficult but I've found it the best approach. I hope if you do try journalling that you find it very therapeutic.
February 27th, 2016 6:59am
Analysis leads to paralysis, this is a classic quotation that is used when a person thinks to much about how to handle a situation. Some things people need to learn in life, this is something I have learned in my journey of social self improvement, but I would say to not worry about the other person when it comes to specific things. If you have good intentions what you say or do will be fine.
February 28th, 2016 12:05am
Sometimes it's like a big puzzle. Thousand of potential pieces which could connect, and show a picture of a "perfect" love. But sometimes, they don't really fit. And we kinda force them to. Even though the picture isn't what it's supposed to be, we don't care. We only see what we want to. We want the puzzle to fit. But we can't really finish it that way. The puzzle will be flawed. We don't fight against gravity. Some things just are. Some pieces fit, but show a picture we don't really like. But nothing ever is truly perfect. We just have to complete the puzzle and take it for what it is. An un-perfect piece of art.
March 18th, 2016 12:10pm
Understand that you are perfect to them, or they would not be with you. Someone who loves someone else will view them as perfect, no matter what.
April 7th, 2016 12:32pm
Relationships are very complex. Try to stay open minded and have open communication with your partner. If you talk to them about it, they may understand or give you some positive reinforcement.
April 21st, 2017 1:19pm
Never forget that your partner is a person just like you! Everything that you have ever felt worried about in your relationship, they have probably felt worried about, too!
June 2nd, 2017 9:35am
There is no particular way to stop that. Based on my experience, you only overthink things when you are afraid to lose the person, or for some reason you feel the relationship is restricting you. You can probably talk to the person about what you are thinking...
November 24th, 2017 4:27am
Oo this is a tough one. Even I face trouble with overthinking. You just have to accept things fhe way they are and don’t get insecure or suspicious of your partner. What I mean by this is you must trust your partner. Overthinking sometimes is caused by the lack of trust by the partner. So build that trust.
August 15th, 2018 8:47pm
I find it hard not to overthink in relationships. Sometimes its easier to just think about now. Not the "what ifs" of the future, because the what ifs are what cause doubt and cause you to question everything. Be happy together now, and move on together.
June 26th, 2019 7:16am
overthinking things in a relationship is not good. it gives you stress, it affects your daily lives and it kills your happiness. you have to stop overthinking things in a relationship by talking and asking your partner about the thing that bothers you especially with the suspicious one. you have to be frank and be honest of what you really feel for him. think about the positive things too so you might not feel abandoned. love yourself. make yourself busy with the things that make you enjoy most. and most importantly, pray to the Lord about guidance, enlightenment and help with your relationship with your partner. :)
August 18th, 2019 2:02am
Overthinking happens when you don't trust yourself or the situation. When I want to stop overthinking about something my partner does or doesn't do, I think about how much I love them and they love me. I think about the first time he said it, and all the times I knew he meant it, and every single action he's taken over the course of our relationship where he continues to prove it. Because when you love someone, you trust them. You put your heart in their hands and take the leap of faith, and that's what overthinking is afraid of most. Making that jump. So make that jump, and trust your partner, friend, or parent. Trust them with all your heart and everything you have, because trust is the special salve that heals and holds. Trust them because you love them, and all the voices will come to quiet around you.
January 24th, 2016 7:50pm
If you are overthinking something, the best way to stop is communicating. Just ask the other person for the facts.
February 17th, 2016 6:15pm
As they say ignorance is bliss. We are who we are. Look deep into whats causing the problem. Is it just nerves. Or maybe it's not you?
February 18th, 2016 2:41pm
By doing better things in a shorter spam of time so I don't return with my mind back to what happened about the "thing".
February 20th, 2016 11:14pm
You have to trust your partner. Overthinking things will always be part of your life. If you have trust and faith in the relationship then you will be able to stop the overthinking.
February 21st, 2016 4:19pm
Talk to them. Take a minute to think about them things. Ask yourself questions like: What do I want? What am I thinking this? Why do I want this?
February 25th, 2016 5:02am
Talk to your partner. Every relationship is 50/50, and if you have any concerns, you need to talk about them!
February 25th, 2016 9:35pm
Take some time for yourself. Too much thought about another person can lead to an 'unhealthy' obsession and that is not a good thing, right? Falling into this trap can be easy causing over-dependence, jealousy, and eventually depression. All of the latter states lead to a loss of your 'personal' power and can cause a relationship to deteriorate quickly which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing. Therefore it's critical when things reach an uncomfortable level in relation to you concentrating too much on your partner (or anything outside of your self for that matter) that you turn your concentration back onto 'yourself' and what makes you happy and feel satisfied (outside of your relationship).
February 28th, 2016 8:59am
Its important to understand that both of you are human beings and prone to make mistakes. Both of you have a person life, dreams and aspirations and both of you need to respect that
March 2nd, 2016 1:34am
This is going to sound cheesy but just let things happen when they happen, that means to not analyze every text or conversation, and to enjoy being with the other person. It'll make you both happier in that relationship
March 4th, 2016 8:18pm
As difficult as it is to do, staying present and in the moment is very helpful. It helps you drop the worry and lets you focus on if something special is really there. Staying in the present moment allows you not to focus on your expectations but see the person for who they are. When staying in the present you develop a clearer picture of how compatible you two are.