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How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

252 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2021 at 4:53am
How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jannise McKamey-Bruell, LAPC

Counselor

I am a nonjudgmental counselor that employs transparency, trust, honesty and integrity in her practice and in the therapeutic relationship.

Top Rated Answers
gentleSunset73
February 21st, 2016 4:19pm
Talk to them. Take a minute to think about them things. Ask yourself questions like: What do I want? What am I thinking this? Why do I want this?
lyricalsunrise
February 25th, 2016 5:02am
Talk to your partner. Every relationship is 50/50, and if you have any concerns, you need to talk about them!
sweetWhisper18
February 25th, 2016 9:35pm
Take some time for yourself. Too much thought about another person can lead to an 'unhealthy' obsession and that is not a good thing, right? Falling into this trap can be easy causing over-dependence, jealousy, and eventually depression. All of the latter states lead to a loss of your 'personal' power and can cause a relationship to deteriorate quickly which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing. Therefore it's critical when things reach an uncomfortable level in relation to you concentrating too much on your partner (or anything outside of your self for that matter) that you turn your concentration back onto 'yourself' and what makes you happy and feel satisfied (outside of your relationship).
Imherepeople8
February 28th, 2016 8:59am
Its important to understand that both of you are human beings and prone to make mistakes. Both of you have a person life, dreams and aspirations and both of you need to respect that
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 1:34am
This is going to sound cheesy but just let things happen when they happen, that means to not analyze every text or conversation, and to enjoy being with the other person. It'll make you both happier in that relationship
Isabella89
March 4th, 2016 8:18pm
As difficult as it is to do, staying present and in the moment is very helpful. It helps you drop the worry and lets you focus on if something special is really there. Staying in the present moment allows you not to focus on your expectations but see the person for who they are. When staying in the present you develop a clearer picture of how compatible you two are.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2016 8:49pm
Sit down and have a nice talk with your partner, allow them to understand how you feel and talk through it.
stayalivestayaliveforme
March 5th, 2016 4:30am
One could try to express their concerns to their partners, talk to them about their worries. They could also talk to a mental health profession, or someone to give them some help.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 10:19pm
Communicate with your partner. Communication is the key to a great relationship. Without this we tend to overthink negative things.
Nagisa
March 9th, 2016 8:36am
Remember that the other person is human too. They will make mistakes and also have things that bother them. Instead of overthinking, rather talk honestly with your partner about your feelings and expectations and allow them the same courtesy.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2016 6:06pm
To stop overthinking in relationships reassure yourself. What ever your thinking about try and reassure yourself with things like "Is this really true?" "Am I overthinking this?" and ect.
EthanSerenity
March 12th, 2016 7:23pm
Talk to your significant other about what is concerning you. Oftentimes we overthink things when we don't communicate openly.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2016 11:49pm
You can stop overthinking thinks by telling yourself everything will run out smoothly and everything will go as planned.
serene63
March 16th, 2016 2:44pm
sometimes overthinking is a big part of some of us but we tend to learn to deal with things in a different way try doing something positive together or talking more about any issues you have in stead of thinking..
Anonymous
March 18th, 2016 8:59am
Just stop. Mind wants a complicated way to stop overthinking, but just start acting spontaneously now and let the chips fall where they may. It can take courage, a trust in the grander scheme of things, and knowing that love is your very nature, whether it seems that way or not.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2016 11:18am
Learn how to expect less from a relationship and learn to trust your partner, love them and relax, get to know more about each other, with that you'll be overthinking less
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 2:41pm
Very good question, distract yourself, keep yourself busy with other things all the time, all that time you spent thinking on someone... invest it on you and you will see eventually you do not need to overthink those things anymore
Jelli
March 20th, 2016 2:57pm
It can be very easy to start overthinking things in any relationship because once emotion and time is invested, it can be very easy to have anxiety over losing the relationship, concerns in the relationship, and overall feelings of unease. Sometimes it's just a normal process that needs to be worked through with time and trust in the relationship. Open communication can start to break down the pattern of overthinking things. Being open with the other person can increase bonds of trust and start to replace the overthinking after awhile. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to learn other coping methods other than overthinking in situations. Give yourself the time and space you need while fostering that open communication and it will start to get easier over time.
WickedSmile03
March 30th, 2016 12:06pm
Tell yourself it's only your anxiety making these negative thoughts up. Often, anxiety makes you think in a negative way and affects your relationship. Try avoiding them and say that your trust your partner, focus on positive thoughts and try your best to ignore the negative ones.
kayp17
March 31st, 2016 3:50am
Talk over things with your significant other. The more you talk it through, the less your mind wanders and the more calm you will be.
httpxbeautifulmess
March 31st, 2016 10:57am
I think the best way to stop overthinking things in a relationship is trusting your significant other. Talking to them could be another thing, it helps not to overthink about certain things because you have security and less doubt that causes overthinking.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2016 1:54pm
A simple mantra..if it's meant to be it will happen you don't have to stress too much about it...if a relationship is not helping you grow then its not worth it...
sacredteeth
March 31st, 2016 9:54pm
I know it can be hard, but a lot of things in a relationship are based on trust. If you don't trust your partner enough to have an open dialogue whenever you are worried about something, then there's a flaw in your relationship. People are often more likely to be open with you if you can show you trust them, and while it might be very, very hard at first, you have to count on the person you love to be honest with you most of the time. It's easier to ask outright and end a worry than to overthink it constantly until it could become a full blown fight!
Sara1506
April 1st, 2016 11:22pm
Just let it happen the way it's supposed to, If it isn't meant to be, allow it to end and vice versa
Anonymous
April 6th, 2016 11:23am
Just keep yourself busy with useful things. Stay Positive, Trust your partner and always try to find solution for problems.
joyfulWords68
April 7th, 2016 7:29pm
Overthinking is a very common thing to do. Whatever you're thinking about should be shared with your partner. They will understand and talk with you about it. If you hold in whatever you are thinking then that will only cause you more anxiety and nobody needs that.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2016 6:33am
First, pinpoint exactly what the cause of your overthinking is. Is it because you distrust your partner or is it because his or her actions? Once you know, try to identify why this is the case. Learning more about it can help you find possible solutions.
EmilijaS
April 14th, 2016 4:46pm
Just think of other perspective - would you personally do the things you over think? We all know our partners so in a way we know how they will act in certain situation, so if we don't depend on the emotions that are at given moment, but try to think how our partners would act in a situation - it will be easier for us to rest.
FriendlyFriendGen
April 15th, 2016 8:42pm
You can't stop overthinking things in a relationship because it's natural to overthink things in a relationship, after all, relationships are between two people who try to trust each other, and sometimes, you're not really entire sure what you should think or feel once you're in a relationship. The best advice I can give is to just all negative thoughts from entering, like assuming.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 6:22am
Set some time to yourself. Recognize when your thoughts are getting the best of you. Consciously stop yourself. Ask yourself why you feel this way. Find a distraction, refocus your thoughts. Talk to your partner about your feelings.