How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

204 Answers
Last Updated: 08/18/2019 at 2:02am
How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
tranqq
September 14th, 2016 8:27am
Probably just to communicate and be very open and honest about what you want. Communication is the key to any good relationship, platonic or romantic.
Forwantofasong
September 14th, 2016 11:20pm
Personally, the answer to how not to overthink sounds simple, but has been just as difficult to myself as it likely has been for a lot of people wondering. It's a two-dose helping though. It takes both Trust and Communication. In trusting the person you are in a relationship with, it becomes easier to calm yourself should you begin to overthink. The second part, Communication, is just talking out the things you're overthinking about with your relationship partner, So that clarity is achieved and you aren't left wondering what is going on, Leading to the overthinking problem. Of course, this trust and communication has to work both ways to work, But regardless, it has been the most effective means of stopping myself from overthinking.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 6:00am
There's no way that I've found, but you need to have a lot of trust in your partner. They love and care about you, and if they didn't, they most likely wouldn't be in a relationship.
Itzreginaz
September 18th, 2016 2:26pm
Try to think the positives inside of the negatives. Have fun when chatting with your BF/Gf, because you will realize that it was fun spending time with your romantic interest.
Dawn04
September 30th, 2016 2:21pm
Try to keep calm. The relationship will either last or it won't. It won't be the end of the world if it doesn't.
2cupsofteaa
September 30th, 2016 9:52pm
Be aware of your thoughts, that they are irrationally inclined. Question the validity of your thoughts and find proof that they hold true. If they don't, your understanding that you're overthinking should break your thought cycle.
ThePosea
October 6th, 2016 1:54am
Well, i think a lot of the over thinking in relationships is related to trust, so if you trust your partner enough that shouldn't be a problem. Of course it's easier said than done, specially if you have any kind of prior trusting issues, in that case I'd suggest you visit a psychologist if you can.
kindUnicorns31
October 10th, 2016 10:44pm
Put yourself in your partner's shoes, and ask yourself how you would like to be treated when when we take a less obvious reaction.
strongernow1234
October 27th, 2016 1:03am
clarify all the thoughts coming up in your mind with your partner only when you feel that there's a point behind asking such question that's it:)
NeptunePH
October 28th, 2016 6:57am
I have had this problem in my earlier relationships. Let me tell you right now, it's useless. It wont help a single thing. Whatever you're thinking about, usually it isn't necessary. Try to relax, talk to your partner about it. Just dont think too much about stuff.
fancyGrace43
November 3rd, 2016 5:55am
Talking with your loved one in relationship is the best key. If you have doubts, you can always reach to him and start a conversation.
ArcticArabella
November 4th, 2016 9:44pm
Have faith in your relationship and the person you are involved with. Also, try talking to your partner about this, and try talking about your thoughts and expressing what you feel.
philofelist07
December 8th, 2016 3:34pm
Relationships are such a gift to each one of us and can really bring out the best in us, enabling us to grow and reach our full potential. Having said that, while being in an exclusive relationship with someone, there are times when there are disagreements or conflicts because two people cannot always be on the same page and sometimes things seem to get out of hand. From my personal experience, I think the relationship should be built on a strong foundation after evaluating and agreeing upon certain non-negotiable things. If these are clearly agreed upon willingly, then rest of the situations can be managed or tackled with some effort. Below are some steps that have helped me - 1) Looking at the situation from different perspectives 2) Not getting too sentimental or letting your feelings take over the situation 3) Being solution oriented rather than magnifying the problem unnecessarily 4) Taking a break to calm down so as to avoid being impulsive 5) Having a dialogue with your significant other I don't believe in going with the flow which might mean compromising on things that I really hold dear or my values and principles. If any relationship is damaging my self-esteem, not allowing me to be myself, is verbally/physically/mentally abusive or causing harm slowly and steadily, I wouldn't think much before walking out of it. Everyone deserves to be treated well, with respect and dignity. Love follows. Love is to put the other's need before yours, but that doesn't mean letting a person walk all over you. So, if there's any conflict, try following some of the steps mentioned and always remember, a relationship should help you bloom, make you happy and bring you joy!
friendlylittlefox
December 22nd, 2016 11:59pm
I am bad for this. My past has lead me to very seldom take things at face value, and always read in to every situation. I've found that, personally, the best remedy for this is to communicate with my partner. If I feel that the gears in my mind are kicking in to overdrive, I tell him! I let him know that I've been preoccupied by a thought, and we talk it through with compassion and openness - something that people like ourselves (over-thinkers) unforgivingly require in a relationship. It's only through communication that you can heal this habit, and learn to trust things for how they seem. :-)
Anonymous
January 8th, 2017 8:55am
Ooh, this is a tough one. When we're serious about someone, we tend to overthink and come up with worst case scenarios that are not necessarily true/rational. I admit that I myself tend to overthink more often than is probably considered normal, but I have found that it helps to just communicate with your partner about any concerns that you have. If you both agree to engage in honest and transparent conversations with each other, and build your relationship upon a strong foundation of trust (which will take some time to do as you get to know each other better), then you find that you may not have much to worry about in the first place.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2017 8:40am
Communication is key in any relationship. If you have concerns always discuss them with the other person. If you feel your concerns are unjustified etc ask yourself what may be causing you to think these thoughts? Is it a previous experienced trauma etc etc then take apropriate steps to work through the emotions afiliated with these
wallabei
February 16th, 2017 12:54am
When I'm overthinking things in a relationship, I find that it's best to ask questions. Be gentle, you don't want to stir up an argument. Making accusations and rash decisions will hurt your partner.
bubblegumTree13
February 25th, 2017 5:18pm
Learning to let go and let be is a tough act to follow because none of us would like a relationship to sour. Perhaps cultivating interests external to the relationship, learning to empower yourself outside of the relationship might help. If it does not, then at the last resort consider what will happen to you should the relationship sours and work out the steps you will take to recover. This will give you some control and perhaps with this confidence
LittleMissJoy
March 4th, 2017 5:46pm
in my experience I have learnt that the best way to avoid overthinking is to take some time for yourself. When we aren't making the time to do the things we enjoy, or relaxing and keeping ourselves busy then we leave the room for overthinking to occur. What's also a really good thing to do is to talk to your partner about it. By expressing how you feel it gives you a chance to get it off your chest and your partner is able to reassure you
HufflepuffQueen22
March 10th, 2017 4:54pm
Consider keeping a diary and looking back on what it was that you were overthinking about then think about whether or not it matters. Or speak to your significant other about how you are feeling
1musicloverever
March 15th, 2017 2:31pm
Overthinking isn't a bad thing, we don't overthink things because we are selfish and we like it. We do it because we are worried and care. There's nothing wrong with wanting things to go smoothly, and here's something, when you overthink talk to someone about it. It'll help you so much, don't hold your feelings back and don't be quiet. It doesn't matter what it is, if you don't say it now, you will be sorry you didn't later down the road.
ingeniousPeace79
March 19th, 2017 7:19pm
How to stop overthinking. Relationship is just a circumstance. Focus is key. You have to divert attention. To channel it into current moment, in the now. Focus on breathing helps a lot. Focusing on something, like a spot on the wall, works too. Attention is like water for plants. Practice focus exercises. Thats the healthiest way in my view. Relationship will benefit also, of course.
thoughtfulLove65
April 4th, 2017 11:41pm
you need to learn to be confident and accept yourself before you enter into any relationship. Your mental health comes first
Sarah1010
April 8th, 2017 7:53pm
Know your worth, and what you deserve! Also, think about what's best for you in the long run. No one has to tell you what's best for you, or what decisions to make. Be yourself, and know what choices are most appropriate for yourself!
Anonymous
April 9th, 2017 7:52am
Trusting your partner is the most important things so don't keep anything to yourself and ask him/her anything. If you trust each other it would be so much easier to overcome any problem
airreeekuh
April 12th, 2017 2:07pm
To stop overthinking things in a relationship, you need to sort out all of your thoughts with your partner because that's what being in a relationship means - knowing each other thoughts may they be good or bad and working through them together.
gracefulHope86
May 28th, 2017 8:29pm
Remember that often times the actions of another are their own insecurities and issues and not something to take personal. Remember that you can control your thoughts and actions, not another's and therefore, in time, whatever is going to happen will, and your reaction is the only thing you can control so until it is time to react, be calm and live your life remembering that you are a good person with good intentions.
DZhelper
June 2nd, 2017 9:07pm
Take some time for yourself. and Recognize when your thoughts are getting the best of you. Consciously stop yourself. The first step when you get that disturbing compulsive feeling of not being able to stop concentrating on someone else is to -STOP!- and if you are in the position to do so sit down, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths, letting the air slowly roll out of your mouth. Find a distraction. Yes when you are thinking too much about something, the best thing you can do is find something to distract you from your own thoughts. Try not to be alone or somewhere quiet. Get your boys and girls to head to town with you for a movie or some Frisbee. Go to the gym and go crazy on the new workout program you found on the internet. Bake a cake for a potluck with your girls or start up your computer for some Warcraft with your buddies.
beautifulturtle
June 8th, 2017 3:43pm
I feel like it's important to remember that you are totally not alone in overthinking relationships; it's something I think most people will have issues with at some point in their lives. I think it really roots back to trust and an open line of communication between you and the other person in question. If you can't talk about your stressors with your partner, then it's easy for things to get out of hand in your brain.
rinkuandriku
June 16th, 2017 5:31am
When your mind becomes muddled and races a mile a minute, try to step away from your thoughts and distract yourself. Try to make a habit of this and catch yourself whenever your thoughts come to consume you.