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How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

273 Answers
Last Updated: 01/19/2022 at 8:12pm
How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
Angell
January 30th, 2020 4:02pm
When overthinking ask yourself why would you do so? and to stop overthinking in a relationship it is better to do the communication externally than that which goes in your head. overthinking is mostly about thoughts that keep reoccurring and which leads to different scenarios and ideas, so it is better to question it, look for any evidence in reality and try to talk things out with the other person. Communication is a very important tool to help and reduce overthinking, it helps in understanding and clarifying things at time. I know it can be hard at times but a small initiative is always better than going on over in your head which isn't positive.
Anaiviv01
February 9th, 2020 6:41pm
Overthinking and ruminations are habits that our mind uses to trick us. The good news is that we can also trick our mind by involving it in a more rewarding behavior and a different, healthier pattern. Instead of being slave to your own emotions, try to listen to them and to the messages they’re trying to convey. Sometimes we run away from our feelings and this alone can trigger even more overthinking. It’s not rare to see overthinking link with anxiety to control your life. It’s a process that requires time and healing cannot happen overnight. Try to get in touch with a therapist or a verified listener!
CalmCourage
February 22nd, 2020 3:32am
Hey, in my experience I think it's so important to focus on things that you enjoy to do or a mission for the day. That way you are more thinking in those lines rather than worrying about things. Also meditating has helped me reduce the amount of things going on in my head! If you can work in some physical activity like running or cycling or gym, this can also be great for reducing your thoughts in my experience anyway! Give these a try and see how you feel, are you still worries as much or has it subsided more? Thank you :)
rupturingdawn0831
April 10th, 2020 1:59pm
In a relationship, as it involves two people, communication is the most important thing. While it's hard to accept that the other person might not feel the same way you do about a certain matter, not relaying your feelings, and not being sure of the other person's feelings can lead to you feeling anxious. With a lack of communication, you're letting many questions go unanswered. We generate the answers ourselves, multiple answers for each question. In a way it's a form of torture, unhealthy, and very easily avoidable. When you enter a relationship, it is important to be aware of what you want from the person. Once, you understand what you prioritize, you must understand their priorities as well. Once entering a relationship, you form a commitment with the other person, and every commitment relies on trust. Once you trust that person, you will stop doubting their words, actions and motives. The need to overthink will be gone itself. However, not every one communicates clearly, and when it comes to that, it's very important to prioritize yourself. You are allowed to prompt the other person to share or confide in you, however if they still are unable to or choose not to do so, then it is a bridge they must overcome themselves on their own terms. The most you can do is be patient, and it is very important that you tell yourself repeatedly that you are the most important thing for yourself, and that is why you need to stop damaging yourself by overthinking.
caringCam04
April 16th, 2020 8:22pm
I don’t have much relationship experience personally but I do know that you should always put your needs first. You can’t provide effectively in a relationship if you don’t take care of yourself. It’s just like they say on airplanes, if they drop down the oxygen masks put on your mask first. If you don’t then you’ll suffocate and you won’t be able to help others. Also, communication is key. If there is something bothering you, then talk. It’s the most effective way to solve a problem. But when you talk don’t lash out and get angry. Use a calm tone and understand each other. It may be harder for others but it isn’t impossible.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2020 3:07pm
Often in relationship we tend to engage in overthinking. Thinking about the other partner is great, but overthinking or obsession over a particular thing or person can be exhausting. However you have the capacity to differentiate between rational thoughts from the irrational ones. Rational thoughts are the ones which have ground in reality, you can try to find link between present and your thoughts by seeing it in a timeframe, are these facts or assumption, pre conceived notions etc, by doing so you'll be able to eradicate unnecessary, bothering thoughts and will help you stop overthinking. Some grounding techniques like touching different types of textures, repeating the things you like. Doing so allow space for you to reconsider and puts a break in the endless cycle of overthinking.
SidoneyRlistens
May 15th, 2020 12:17am
Overthinking is so hard to deal with because you will think one day does "he/she still love me" , does "he/she will still want me around." To stop overthinking in a relationship is to make sure you feel comfortable with someone because you don't want to feel like your partner is feeling "off" today. That's when you are overthinking. You can establish assurance in a relationship to make sure each partner in the relationship feels comfortable and cause less stress overthinking. In a relationship focus more on getting to know each other and keep postive energy when with each other.
Morgantfaria
May 20th, 2020 2:11pm
This is one thing a lot of people do, you're not alone. First you need trust without trust you won't quit overthinking because you're worried or scared something bad is going to happen. Establish trust, then talk to your partner about how you've been feeling. What is really bothering you. Then you just have to let it go. You have to be the one to say "ok I am done overthinking what is meant to be will be." After that you will feel much better with yourself and your relationship. Things are going to happen in relationship but you have to be the one to accept it and know that whatever is going on will all work out in the end.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2020 12:57pm
Oh man. Definitely been there done that. What helps is to build that trust between you and your partner. Honesty is the number one key. Also gotta focus on the moments you spend together rather than on the ones that you don't. You gotta find that balance between you and us. Meaning there will be times where you spend the whole day together and then there will be times where you only send a few texts to each other that day. What helps is to use that time for yourself. Focus on your hobbies and stuff like that. There are things that you will be doing together as a couple and then there will be things that you will be doing separately for yourself.
Dujour2000
June 6th, 2020 5:10pm
Connecting with the hurts and injuries sustained in a relationship can be difficult to dismiss. The choices and actions that injure cannot be erased, so dealing with the with the relationship with a fair and somewhat detached outlook has great benefits. For example, reframing the offending and persistent thoughts and memories by placing yourself with another person can be an effective technique. Also, there's little that's true today that wasn't true yesterday. Things don't change in relationships quickly, so very likely "overthinking" things won't result in any real change, but rather, speaks to the person who's "overthinking". Simply enjoying the moment: be it prayer, a walk/swim/bike ride, cooking, showering...just smelling the coffee offers temperal benefits to our moments of crisis.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2020 6:08am
I would think about the happy things. Once you start thinking about the happy things, it’ll make you happier and make you live in the moment. If you are overthinking just think about all the memories you’ve had with that person and all the fun times you’ve hungout with them. Once you start thinking about that it’ll remind you of how happy you are with him/her. At the same time, not all relationships work out. If you think that the relationship is having a negative impact on you I wouldn’t go forward with it. Just try to remember the good times and it’ll make you happy.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2020 6:23pm
A relationship is based on trust.If you trust your partner, you don't need to overthink at all.Trust them and let them trust you.Stop thinking that whatever is going wrong in your relationship is just your mistaken some cases it can be but in many cases on partner takes all the blame and wonders where they went wrong.Go a little easy on yourself, your life is more important than a relationship which makes you overthink at every moment and affects your mental health.Stop thinking if things are going good,dont try to complicate them or change them.Live ,and let live.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2020 5:47am
Just like taking a break from your job search is important, so is having the right mindset. It is hard to be a job seeker, applying for many jobs and possibly not hearing back from employers. Work to focus on the progress you are making with each application—honing your search tactics, getting efficient with your application process, and understanding what keywords to use for an ATS are all important tools to use as you go through your search. Each time you apply for a job, you are improving your process, and that’s great progress to landing a job. nice
Charlotte996
June 25th, 2020 11:31pm
Overthinking is often based in insecurity. So, if you're overthinking in the relationship, it can mean many things, but most likely there's something that you're uncertain about and haven't spoken to your partner about. Of course, this doesn't always have to be something within your relationship, like a problem or so, but it could be something that you're bringing in from outside the relationship. Insecurities that you may have from the experiences you've had in life. It may be worth sitting down and having an honest conversation with yourself to determine what it may be. All that said, your partner may also have a role to play in this. If you aren't receiving the support you need in the relationship, it can lead to overthinking. So sit down with your panter, thoroughly communicate your expectations and needs and decide together how you'll approach it.
Jordyn1224
July 8th, 2020 4:11am
It is very difficult to stop overthinking things in a relationship although if you are overthinking certain things it could mean the relationship isn't the right thing for you. Although a good step to stopping overthinking things in a relationship would be to communicate with the partner and tell them what you are thinking about. Maybe you can agree on something to improve what you are going through. If you are overthinking a certain thing like you aren't sure if they actually like you as much anymore the best thing to do would be to communicate this with them and see what they say. Its best to consider the situational factors rather than just the personal factors. For example, maybe they are busy and thats why they have been unable to pay as much attention to you
Anonymous
July 15th, 2020 12:59pm
Worry is a normal process that we all experience from time to time, however sometimes worry can become overwhelming and impact our ability to manage day to day. There are several ways that worry is maintained, these include; 1. Avoidance or distraction As worry can be very distressing it is normal for us to avoid the things which are causing us to worry or try to distract ourselves from the worries in our minds. 2. Beliefs about worry: We may have certain beliefs about the function of worry; that it is helpful or that it is making us ill. These beliefs can make it hard to stop worrying, or make the worry worse. 3. Putting things off Worrying can take up a lot of our time and is very distressing, therefore we might not have enough time or energy to tackle everyday problems. If this happens our problems can pile up and cause us even more worry.Write down your main worries in the relationship and establish weather or not they are hypothetical or real, can you take actions on those worries? Can you sort them into overthinking or core worries? What started the worry in the first place?
ExhuberantOcean
July 25th, 2020 1:41pm
I feel like most of the time when we are overthinking things it can be because of our fears and how they change the scale of events in our minds. I usually try to look at the issues bothering me from a friends perspective, changing the names or the people in the situation. This allows me to detach a little and see where the problems are and where compromise is needed. I usually am very good at giving my friends advice but very bad at following them myself. Try being a friend to yourself too. Relaionships are complicated and that's okay.
StarhawkeMystery
July 30th, 2020 3:34am
Being in a relationship that you hope will lead to something long-term can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. When you think you've found "The One," you're going to do all you can to make sure they're really it. Sometimes, that can unfortunately lead to a little bit of overanalyzing and overthinking on your part. When you're overthinking in a relationship, nothing good ever really comes out of it. But according to experts, there's no need to worry too much. There are effective ways to stop it.Take infidelity for example. Overthinking about the possibility of cheating is only going to create an insecure attachment. "You’re not going to be able to be attuned to your partner if you’re constantly worried, looking over your shoulder, and checking their phone," she says. "When you’re anxious and overthinking, you’re not in the moment, so you’re not able to truly enjoy time with your partner. And if you’re not present, how can you possibly grow in your relationship?" Overthinking in your relationship happens. Sometimes, you may not even realize you're doing it. So here are some ways you may be overthinking your relationship too much and effective ways to stop it, according to experts.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2020 3:31am
I think one important thing you CAN do is to acknowledge that you have a pattern of overthinking things to yourself and if you have this trust, to your partner. Overthinking is basically anxiety we harbor, so to start managing our anxiety a little better in a relationship is to attempt to identify actions, words, or routines that build on that trust and bring you to the present moment. (Ex: Once a week verbal relationship check-ins, act from your favorite love language, self-love act, etc.) It's something small, easy to do, meaningful to you that you can build on over time. Also, it may help you be more aware of what triggers that anxiety in the first place. It definitely takes time, trust and communication. We can't magically stop overthinking all together in a day. However, we can take small steps that help us build our trust with ourselves and in our relationship to give us back our sense of control.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2020 7:52am
Love isn't a feeling. It's an action. You can be sad and you can be hungry, but you cannot be "love". Rather, love is something you do for another person simply because you do. Even without any measurable gain from the other person, you love them anyway. When it comes to a relationship that may result in marriage, there has to be a mutual benefit just to be sustainable. But love is the result of a desire to do the best for someone for their benefit. The danger comes when love is not reciprocated; if one person is reaping all the benefit without reciprocating, then the relationship is one-sided and not healthy.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2020 7:12am
I think this is a trust issue. The answer is to build trust in the relationship with each other. Both parties involved need to be on board and be able to communicate clearly and calmly to each other their trust needs, and to discover together ways in which they are willing to meet each others and their own trust needs healthily and reasonably. The more trust there is the less need to overthink. Clear and honest, and wisely delivered communication is a plus in any relationship! This can be harder in new relationships as trust takes time to build and it pays to be honest and clear from the beginning.
mitch63
August 13th, 2020 11:17pm
While we are not to give advice, I have found personally several avenues to ease mind chatter; artistic endeavors such as creative writing, clay modeling and drawing. I employ meditation the does not have a specific outcome but rather a gentle focus on viewing the images that pass through without becoming attached to them. I have found that utilizing breathing exercises to balance the autonomic nervous system work well. And if I can engage my body in physical activity, it allows me to re-direct my focus away from the chatter. Since I have been following these approaches fora good while, my mind chapter has noticeably lessened over time.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2020 5:24am
Overthinking is normal. It may be difficult to deal with, but we have to try and not allow our thoughts take over our overall well-being. In regards to a relationship, if you have any concerns, I highly recommend communicating with your partner about what is going on. Communication and understanding is key to a healthy relationship. It's important to communicate your thoughts with your partner so that they can be there for you and reassure you when needed. Your partner cannot read your mind, so it is important to let them know before your thoughts get the best of you.
Clown964
August 26th, 2020 6:22am
Understand that you are not alone in a relationship. There is someone else as well and they may be going through the same thing. Take the time to talk with them and you may find a sort of relief as you connect on the things you are overthinking. Understand you are there for each other the same way we are here for you at 7 cups. It is simply a matter of perspective. If you overthink but do not verbalize then you are allowing yourself to focus on these thoughts and ponder more possibly leading to the overthinking getting worse than it was before.
SophieWX
August 26th, 2020 6:17pm
Recognize first what past experiences are making you overthink, perhaps your trust have been betrayed before, or maybe you know people who's had this experience and you are worried because of what they've told you. Or even maybe you tend to feel anxious about close relationships in general. Another side of this is that, has your partner done anything to betray your trust? Do they act untrustworthy?Have they had a habit to do untrustworthy things in relationships before you and you've caught wind of it? Once you've identified the root of the problem, it would be much easier to figure out what to do next. Perhaps you'd like to talk about it with your partner, or maybe you would want to find someone who can be a better partner for you.
Anonymous
August 28th, 2020 10:39pm
You have to do your best to be there for them whenever they need you so you will never regret anything at all. You have to start communicating with your partner and ask them anything that is making you think a lot about it so you will know why they act like that or why you feel the way you are feeling. You have to confront your feelings and describe your selves when you communicate so you will know the answer to all your doubts. Anyways sometimes it is hard to stop thinking so just go and ask them directly that you have this so you will feel ok
Anonymous
September 6th, 2020 4:53am
There are some tips to stop overthinking in a relationship. Try to distruct yourself from negative thoughts. Trust yourself. Trust your intuition. Try to communicate with your partner more often and not afraid to tell him about all of your concerns. Try to do some extra activities with your partner, it can reduce your level of anxiety too. Actually communication is a key to a healthy relationships. Be confident too. Also don't hesistate to get help from therapy. Sometimes good conversation with your close friend can help a lot. For some people doing exercises help a lot to not think about what could or would can happened.
Anonymous
September 10th, 2020 6:53am
Without a little bit of compelling emotions relationships fall apart. It is something we work on and grow from. Knowing that lifts off the weight of thinking about what will happen next. If we think about the future too much the joy of the present is snatched away. I'm not saying that you shouldn't think about it at all but it is very beneficial to minimise it as much as possible. It is very challenging and is often easier said than done but taking small steps will definitely help a lot. Live in the moment and do whatever you want to do because life is too short!
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2020 3:58am
From experience, you have to find your own security and know your worth. If you are not confident in who you are and what you have to offer, you are likely to put your worth or even your emotions and well being on what someone else thinks about you. You also need to develop a trust with that person and get to the root of the issue, is there something that happened that makes you doubt their loyalty or trustworthiness? If so, how do you move past that and find healing from that situation that may have occurred causing those trust issues. Or are you speaking out of a place of insecurity?
Alwayshearforyou247
October 7th, 2020 9:10pm
You need to sit down and think to yourself, what you are overthinking about. Is it your own actions towards your partner or actions your partner has towards you? Try talking to your partner and see what they have to say. If you both feel this way, you can reach out for support. Try talking to one another, as this is important in every relationship. Overthinking can be tough, but remember you can overcome it! Be patient with yourself and start by listening to your own thoughts. What are you overthinking about the most and why, are good questions to ask.