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How to stop thinking about someone who hurt you?

90 Answers
Last Updated: 02/23/2020 at 10:33am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Rory Boutilier, Registered Professional Counsellor

Counselor

I use a client-centered, solution-focused approach. Particular interests in: depression, anxiety, life stress, change, and self-injury.

Top Rated Answers
JamesR
March 3rd, 2016 2:07am
It can be really tricky to try and let go of someone, especially, I can imagine, when so many emotions might be involved. It might sometimes be better to think of stopping thinking or as some people might say 'getting over' someone in terms of a process. Whether or not you forgive them, or not (and it will entirely depend on the circumstances which are likely to be very specific to what has happened to you) it's hard to stop thinking all in one go. Some questions your might want to consider might include: Are there steps you can take with your thinking to thinking about that person gradually over time? Is there something blocking you from getting over that person? What are your motivations for stopping thinking about that person? What is it you want to gain?
lyricalsunrise
February 25th, 2016 4:54am
Hang out with a friend, listen to music, practice your hobbies. Keep your mind busy, don't let yourself stop to think.
ConnyK
February 18th, 2016 12:02am
Remember, everything happens for a reason. If that someone hurt you, it was never meant to happen. You can't instantly stop thinking about someone just like that. I think that by the time you are personally convinced that he did all those things to hurt you in no regards of your feelings, you'll stop thinking about him. It comes to you, just when you realize it's for best.
seventyninedays
March 11th, 2016 11:40pm
The best way to stop thinking about a hurtful experience is to combat it with good memories! Keeping busy is also a good way to take your mind of things!
ListeningDot
March 25th, 2016 1:51pm
You don't stop thinking about them. . If they had the power to hurt you, it was because you cared for them, maybe you still do. You try and to focus on the positive things the interaction you had with them brought you. And you realize that they way people treat you is a reflection of them, not of you.
charmingsmiles
April 2nd, 2016 2:31am
Get out and meet new people! It may be difficult for some, but letting new things and people into your life will help you stop dwelling on the bad.
beautifulOcean
May 10th, 2016 11:05pm
I try to keep busy. Even if it's reading some stupid article on a celebrity I don't care about, or meeting some friends who I haven't seen in months, I try to make me-time and keep my mind off of that person. As long as you don't have the chance to think about them, you won't. Eventually, the hope is that you won't need to think about them because they will at that point be irrelevant.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 7:31pm
Know that the more you think about it, the more you're letting them win. They wanted you to feel bad, and the sooner you stop, the better it is for everyone.
Fenixashes37
February 13th, 2016 11:43am
Honestly, you can't. But what you can do is to learn from the mistake and be better about yourself.
Yellowumbrella143
February 13th, 2016 1:58pm
The best way to get over a person who hurt you is keep yourself busy. Nothing but busy. Go and watch movies, hangout with friends, listen to music or read may be. Do whatever it takes to refrain yourself from thinking about them.
geeb0t
February 14th, 2016 4:20pm
Try putting your time into something else. Exercise, writing, dancing, joining a club etc are all great ways to do this!
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 1:17pm
There is no key to stop thinking about someone, the best thing is to let it take its time and process it. Think it through and just let it go, by time, you won´t think about this person anymore.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 3:13pm
just block them from out of youre mind for good , tell yourself that they are not worth youre time..
CaringJoy
February 19th, 2016 11:24pm
Starting with forgiveness can free us from bad emotions. So I suggest forgiving the person who hurt you and also forgive yourself for being so hard on yourself. If there reminders of that person on your cell phone and around your house like photos I'd suggest removing them so you can move past it. We also have a self help guide onsite that you can tap into as well.
BigFaith98
March 12th, 2016 9:11am
I honestly think you should just go cry for a day and then say to yourself: You know what? I'm my own person and I have my life to live!!
caringReeds28
March 17th, 2016 10:49am
By lettings go and forgiving them. Focusing on yourself and all the good things in your life. Let them know you have forgiven them. For yourself not them :)
lovelyDreamer51
March 25th, 2016 12:56pm
I am too figuring how to get over somebody who hurt me. I advise the best thing to do is spend as much time with friends or family and do new things/activities to take your mind off of it (such as going on long walks, swimming, join the gym, etc..). It can be a really difficult time for anybody to go through as being hurt can cause trust issues with other people, but once you overcome it and start living a better life, you will feel so much better!
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2016 5:18am
You have to realize they aren't worth the time. Learn to let go. I know it's hard but you can't hold onto to everything in life it only brings you down.
AshcoSensei
April 7th, 2016 6:51pm
Talk about it with someone. Bottling up like that can hurt you emotionally. So please keep yourself in a positive environment and make sure to talk to someone if you feel is necessary.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 6:58am
You need to make peace with yourself and find out the root of the problem. Once you understand why you cannot let go, you can find a path to recovery
Nosh
April 10th, 2016 3:31am
Don't. Plan revenge, and plot how you'll make them feel. That is what I would say if i was irrational. I recommend ice cream and baths, but whatever you enjoy will usually work.
Anonymous
May 4th, 2016 9:02pm
Free your mind from them - you are hurting yourself this way. No matter how hard it is, or how it seems impossible to forget, you have to do it. Do not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt you, and you are upset. If they hurt you, it doesn't quite show that they are the best of friends with you or someone who cares about you a lot. Show them that you are strong enough to forget about what they said or did. If you feel yourself starting to think about it again, force your mind elsewhere. Do an activity. Think about something else. Talk to someone, anyone who makes you happy or someone you don't even know. Just do something, and with time, it will be over :) Also, give it some time. Something that hurt you a few days ago will stick in your mind for quite some time but give it time, and when you're ready, move on from it.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 5:07pm
It is always good to reflect over past relationships even though you might want ot stop thinking about it. If you really want to stop thinking about it anyway, go over all of the relevant events bothering you and make sure you feel done with them, otherwise try to solve the issues or they may come back and bother you in the future.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:49am
Think about something else. That's the best remedy I have in mind! You can try thinking about cake, waffles, chocolate?!
gentleSunset73
February 21st, 2016 4:09pm
Tell someone for starters. Have you done that? Then be around people you love and do things that make you happy
blanket7
March 2nd, 2016 1:42pm
Distract yourself and try to go find and surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you. :)
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 9:32pm
By remembering the bad things they did also to throw away any physical things that reminds you of the person
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 2:50pm
I think the only cure is time. But of course you should focus on something else, go outside with friends and try to be happy. Maybe learn some new things, travel somewhere. Nature always help me to feel realxed. Try to think positive but don't forget, sometimes is healthy to cry a little and at this time it's good for you when you have someone to talk to.
Leah2016
March 6th, 2016 11:25am
Keep yourself occupied doing what ever it is you enjoy doing this wont be easy at first but eventually itll be come easy and youll forget about that person
Zeynep92
March 9th, 2016 10:00pm
Try to think about more positive things. Occupy your time with things that will heal you, or perhaps help you evolve. Do not allow that persons actions to hurt you further by being stuck on their previous actions. Do not give them that power.