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How to stop thinking about someone who hurt you?

90 Answers
Last Updated: 02/23/2020 at 10:33am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Rory Boutilier, Registered Professional Counsellor

Counselor

I use a client-centered, solution-focused approach. Particular interests in: depression, anxiety, life stress, change, and self-injury.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 12th, 2016 2:18am
You just have to except and find out away to just have that time pass and if it gets to bad about thinking it get someone to help you figure out a way to cope just live with that feeling or not.
Soul9
March 17th, 2016 1:52pm
one way to stop thinking about who hurt you is by noticing the presence of the ones who are helping you alleviate that pain, when we appreciate the care & love we have , we tend to lose interest on any of those unworthy people we ever had in our lives.
SavingKassie96
March 23rd, 2016 2:01am
Focus on other things. Keep yourself busy. When that person comes to mind, think of something else. Don't let that person continue to hurt you by going over them over and over.
disconsolate
April 8th, 2016 4:20pm
i learned a lot of helpful stuff in the managing emotions course. like... feelings are sometimes painful, but are time-limited. deciding to endure the pain at the moment is acceptance. and it turns out we need to commit to acceptance not once once or twice but over and over again. and lastly, we can view our emotions as waves. coming and going. try not to push or block the wave. just let it wash over you, let it pass.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 3:20am
Do as the saying goes "time heals all wounds" and try to focus on dreams/goals/family/friends. It takes a lot of strength but when you can't move forward, crawl.
UKSudoku
April 16th, 2016 8:58pm
Remember that there are 9 billion people (and counting) on this planet and one single person isn't at all significant in the grand scheme of things. If one person has hurt you then move on with life and redirect your focus to the other 8,999,999,999 humans out there!
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2016 10:15pm
Just try to find something to occupy your mind (for example, new hobbies, home improvement,etc.)
picturesque03afterthought
April 24th, 2016 1:34am
By caring for yourself more. Not all come in our lives, as a blessing, right? Some bring out the best in you and some are there to teach you a new lesson and I know it's not easy at all. It hurts when you've invested so much of time and love and you don't get back in return. But hey, at least not all are there to hurt us right? We still have some right people around us and will definitely have some more..how about we think about them?
HJ2213
April 25th, 2016 9:19am
One way to stop thinking about someone who hurt you is to think through why they hurt you and try to understand.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2016 1:43am
Talk to friends, or a parent or someone trusted. Play with your pet, listen to music there is countless things you can do to just relax.
Starling98
April 28th, 2016 3:16am
Don't feel bad for thinking of that person or experience instead busy yourself with other things and recognize why you think about that event.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 11:30pm
I'm not going to sugar coat it, but it will take a long time and you wont forget them. You just have to go through the rough parts to find the good parts
Holly020
July 26th, 2016 6:23am
get a friend to hang out with keep your mind busy so you won't think about who hurt you or talk to a a parent
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2016 9:04am
Stopping the thought about someone who hurt you is very difficult job. So the best way to deal with this is Forgiving that person and moving ahead.
GratefulDreams
May 1st, 2018 7:27pm
Distract yourself with things you enjoy. Read a book, watch a movie, go for a walk, hang out with friends. I definitely think friends are the key to getting over someone. They will have you talking and laughing and you'll realize you hadn't even thought of the person who hurt you.
Joye74
March 19th, 2019 2:31am
It is very difficult but very important to move on from hurt as it isn't going to help dwelling around the hurt. It is very important to recognize and being sympathetic to victim or yourself. Time is the best healer. As time passes, the intensity of hurt reduces. If we let go then only we create space for positive engergies like love, care, responsibilities, creativity, etc. The freshly person must try to distract himself as best as possible. Sometimes it might require investment in entertainment or travel or watching movie or visiting a friend. But, believe me they are worth investment.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2016 7:16am
Look to the people that make you happy in life. Find some way to forgive the person that hurt you and move on. Everyone in the world will get hurt by someone. It's inevitable. But we learn from that and move on. Look to the people you trust, that make you happy.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2016 7:41pm
Start caring about person who care for you, ultimately you wont feel the need to think about unwanted person
Indrid3301
February 20th, 2016 7:23am
When someone has hurt you, it is important to take away a lesson. "I will never hurt anyone like this, ever. We know how it feels. It takes time to heal, but damage isn't something to pass on. If anything, doing the exact opposite is a million times more healing for everyone.
beautifulSunset39
March 10th, 2016 9:32pm
That's really hard love :/ you have to keep your mind busy on other things . A hobby or something else that you like . And it will slowly fade away
Anonymous
March 11th, 2016 1:01am
Do something you enjoy- eg hanging out with people you trust. This will help distract your mind and will help you stop thinking about the person.
weCanBeTheChange16
March 11th, 2016 4:57am
You can't, you'll always think about them because they hurt you but you can forgive them it helps you move on from it
Anonymous
March 12th, 2016 2:27pm
You should delete the stuff you shared with that person and try to surround yourself with people who love you
peacefulIris56
April 16th, 2016 3:19pm
Look at all of the positive times you have had with that person. Come to realize that sometimes they are people who really want us to be happy but they made bad choice. Let go, forgive and keep moving on.
ErinKay
April 21st, 2016 6:20am
Well, trying to suppress thoughts typically only makes it worse. Instead, it's important to try to refocus your thoughts.
Popsicle1990
April 24th, 2016 6:33pm
Keep Busy! It is really the only way in the beginning. Go out talk to friends, do things that make you happy and soon it will fade.
supportiveBalloon58
May 8th, 2016 1:59am
Think about someone who supported you. You can counteract the negativity with positivity. This is a good way to stop thinking about someone who hurt you.
EmmaJosephine
November 8th, 2016 4:51am
By realising that all that mental space you are wasting on thinking about them, can be filled with positive thoughts and ideas instead. Also by forgiving them, doesn't mean you should excuse their actions, it just means you let go of how it is affecting you.
WatchingOverYou
January 8th, 2018 6:46pm
In a simple sentence but much more difficult done than said: find people to love and replace those sad and damaging thoughts with new positive ones, memories you will cherish.
RebekahRebel
February 23rd, 2020 10:33am
This is a really tough one. Sometimes we're mentally scarred by the people we love who hurt us, more than a random person who could hurt us. This is normal - we don't want, or even expect, the people we love to hurt us. Usually, there isn't really any sole way to stop thinking about them. Perhaps, there could be some ways to help manage the thinking, such as spending time with other people, or doing things that you really enjoy, which could really be effective in taking your mind off things. Only you know what's best for you. What do you enjoy? What do you love? The answers to these things could be the answer to your question.