I'm always afraid people will think I'm incapable and stupid ?
Last Updated: 12/20/2021 at 11:11pm
Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)
I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.
Top Rated Answers
No one is incapable of something and stupid. No one. Dont be so hard to yourself. Youre capable and smarter than you think.
What other people think about you does not define who you are. Be yourself, dont let other people's thoughts get it the way of what you want to do. You are unique and special in your own way. Believe in yourself, thats the main important thing.
The most important person that you need to worry about if yourself. If you put a fish in water it is a wonderful swimmer but if you tell a fish to climb a tree how well do they do? stupid is only defined by those who have limitations, no one is stupid or incapable of anything only you can achieve greatness by first believing in yourself.
You are not incapable or stupid, think of some things that you're good at! I promise you other people will see the good, think about what would you say to a friend if they came to you and said that about themselves, what would you tell them? Because I can guarantee that you would reassure them that they aren't stupid or incapable, treat yourself how you would treat your friend. Try to think of something you're really good at, something that makes you proud of yourself it can be anything little or big for example maybe you're good at cooking or maybe you're good at math. Maybe this will allow you to see that you're not stupid or incapable.
I've struggled with this too, and I've found that asking myself a few questions when I catch myself worrying about this can help. First, I ask if the people around me are actually paying attention or care enough to form a lasting opinion of me based on what I'm doing in that moment. Often, the answer is no, and that helps me relax. I also then ask if I care about what these people's opinions of me enough to change how I think of myself or interact with the world. Sometimes the answer is yes, but with those people, they tend to know me well enough that a single incident won't change their opinion. Evaluating the situation in these ways helps me remember that I can live and act and speak without there always being consequences.
We do not know how others perceive us. Thinking that others see you in a negative light might be due to low self-esteem and other factors that could affect the perception. The only person that knows who you are is yourself. I personally had a tendency to put my insecurities by thinking that people see me that way, which later on I have learned wasn't true. When I was in middle school, I usually thought of myself as stupid, while marinating average grades in a language that wasn't my mother tongue language. Writing out and by analyzing your skills and positive attributes, maybe asking your parents and friends, you could probably see that it's not true, and referring to that list or notes, you could see the inconsistencies and see that you are a good person. Although it's doesn't matter what others are thinking and they will never know the whole you, you should be living for yourself and learn from mistakes.
I feel you, I really do. I have experienced this worry many, many times. As human beings, we are constantly learning and growing, finding new things to do, feel, say and think. Although I may not know your context to this worry, I firmly believe you are probably 100% capable, and intelligent in your own way. When we don't know the answer to a question, the meaning of something, or how to go about a situation the right way, that's not stupidity or incapability; it is an opportunity. An opportunity to learn something knew, to develop our skills and our resilience to the tasks of life.
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