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Is it hard to think critically about something you love?

180 Answers
Last Updated: 04/01/2022 at 2:30am
Is it hard to think critically about something you love?
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Stacy Overton, PhD.

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I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 25th, 2020 9:21pm
It can be hard to handle or be around someone who acts like a diva. However, it is important to realize that they may be struggling with something in their personal life, and this is how they behave to cope. Just try not to let their attitude or behavior effect you in a personal way. On the other hand, do want to still treat them kindly, no matter how they treat you. And if their behavior does start to negatively affect you, it is okay to excuse yourself from the conversation. The important thing to take away from this is that you never know what someone is going through and how they cope, so try not to jump to conclusions or be harsh.
Khanak
June 26th, 2020 8:41am
I think it works the same way as you think about a person you love. You begin to love their flaws and imperfections too, and hence you may have a difficult time thinking critically about them. Furthermore, when you love something or someone, you tend to focus on the positives - that's a part of love. However that does not mean that a bit of constructive criticism is bad. It is often helpful to think critically about something you love with the goal of making it better, and overcome or even just come to terms with the downsides of it.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2020 4:03pm
I feel that it is difficult to be critical of something you love. There is a sense that you may be disrespecting it or betraying it when you do thing critically of it. For me i like to make a issues list and write whether the issue is big or small and to write out possible solutions to this way of thinking. I have found that it allows for me to weigh out things before I make any remarks that I might soon regret or by making the situation worse. This tool is quite helpful and often has led to healthy resolutions to many issues.
safeshoulder2CryOn
July 4th, 2020 4:23pm
As Love has many facets to it, a lover need to explore various perspectives before he/she can invest emotionally. Emotional servitude necessitates critical thinking to prevent stress and suffering. Thinking critically about What to do, Who should be included or excluded, What could go right, What could go wrong, What is required and How to get it are all necessary for love because it promotes physical, intellectual n spiritual well-being. Those who are negligent or who cannot be bothered with critical thinking will end by frustrating both themselves and those they love. In the worse case, the lack of it might result in short-term and/or long-term breakups. This is a very important skill to develop for anyone who truly love their partners.
peacefulPraval
July 29th, 2020 4:45pm
Love is an emotion that in some cases can blind your logical and ethical side of thinking. For example, when many people are in love, they don't think every aspect of the person or thing clearly. This is some cases can lead to negative repercussions. However, for some people, this can be easy to do and it isn't that hard for someone to critically think about a topic that relates to something or someone you love. This once again emphasizes that fact that everyone is made different and has a different way of approaching something. All in all, I believe that it may be hard for someone to critically think about something they love.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2020 11:19am
One of the hardest things is to think critically and deeply about something I love. Although it brings me momentary happiness I then remember how I can lose that thing so easily and it causes me to go into a downward spiral. Having to actively think about something i love so deeply causes me so much stress and anxiety. I often notice myself making up scenarios of how things would be if I lost that thing and it isn’t easy. A way I have it helpful to ease the worries and pain that come along with thinking critically about something I love, is to do the anxiety guide here on 7 cups. Keep my self calm and collected and try not to jump to conclusions or endings about anything.
charmingdeer909
August 26th, 2020 6:57am
In my opinion, no. While you probably think of something you love in a positive light, at times you may feel like you could do better at something you love. Perhaps this is a hobby of yours, such as dance. At first, your goal is to simply pick up choreography and improve as much as you can. However, as you become a more experienced dancer, your standards become to creep higher and higher while your growth plateaus. Thus, you might become very self-critical of your ability to dance, even though it's something you love. I am mostly speaking from personal experience.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2020 6:00pm
It can be hard to move yourself into a neutral place when it comes to something you love or even respect. But, it isn't impossible. Just like when people love a celebrity, but perhaps there might be some problematic things that they have done. Many people would have the tendency to ignore or be in denial that this person can be anything less than perfect, so they cannot really think critically about this person or their actions. When they remove the mindset, though, that this person is not a superhero and that they are human, I do think that you remove the rose-colored glasses in order to think in a neutral manner. So, when it comes to something you love, maybe it is hard to remove yourself from your experience that this thing is perfect and there is nothing wrong with it when someone else has a completely different viewpoint. You will simply have to pause and try to be open to hearing and understand another point of view, even if it isn't your experience. Really hope this helps some.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2020 7:07pm
I think it can be very hard to think critically of something you love. Love can be blinding sometimes if we let it take precedence over the things we believe are right. Though it can be very difficult, I think it's good to take a step back and try your hardest to see your situation with a fresh perspective. Though this can be hard, try to keep your hold on your morals and what you believe in. Loving something is not a bad thing, but you shouldn't let your love cloud your judgement. You are loved and you are enough. Best of luck to you!
Justheretohelpyouloves
September 17th, 2020 4:34pm
It is always going to be a conscious effort to think ethically about something that you love and care so much for. Personal bias is inevitable and we tend to implement this bias into our train of thought unintentionally when we're analyzing situations that are personal to us. How difficult it is think critically about something or someone you love is subjective, because some people are more prone to being willing to step outside themselves and look at situations objectively. We all have the ability to put our bias aside and think critically, it's only dependent on how willing one is to take these steps.
ShareWidSandy
September 18th, 2020 2:02pm
It depends. As we develop emotional abilities with time and experiences make us better on how we deal with love. You can be selfless in love yet know perfectly well if you are being fooled or exploited in some way. It's about how our brains are wired, In love matters things tend to go more caring and blind by default but I think being too critical or being really less critical will not turn out to be a good soluion. So how do we know what's the perfect balance for each individual. Love and share. Beware of exploitation and unnecessary caring.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 6:16pm
When we love something a lot, our emotional attachment to that thing can sometimes sway our thoughts about it. Feelings (like love) are always valid, but that doesn't mean they follow a strict code of logic, or that they are necessarily rational. The heart and the head can sometimes disagree, which can make decision making very tricky. If you're finding it hard to use cold hard logic to consider issues having to do with something you love, you are not alone. Many people feel that significant emotional attachment can cloud their judgement when they need to decide a best course of action.
OrganicPassionFruit
September 25th, 2020 11:45am
Yes it can be hard to think critically about something you love. Love is like looking through rose tinted glasses. Your perception might not necessarily be an accurate outlook on the thing you love. Love can provide more compassion and acceptance towards the thing you love, where in reality this thing requires more of your resistance and uncompromising stance. When you love something it can unintentionally form a barrier of protection, protecting it from criticisms, negativity and un-favoured opinions. This is where it is important to really sit with yourself and your deep thoughts and gut feelings and attempt to look at the situation with an un-biased eye, as hard as that can be when love comes into play.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2020 7:38am
It is. Critical thinking requires you to be completely objective in your judgement, which can be particularly hard for something (or someone) that you love. Although decision making should theoretically be completely from the head, having a bit of emotion sprinkled in shouldn't be a bad thing. Humans are creatures of emotion, although we shouldn't let that totally govern our actions and cause us to make a decision we might regret in the future. Asking other people for their outlook and advice would also help, mainly because they might have a different and more compatible solution than us in the heat of the moment.
SirenSymphony21
January 28th, 2021 12:35pm
Yes it can be hard to think critically about something or someone you love. Because when you are in love, you tend to ignore all the flaws they have. You only focus on the good things. However, this is not applicable to everyone. For example, parents. They love their children and scold them at the same time. Even though it will take time but if you wanna be critical of something you like, you can train your mind to be unbiased. It will take time because your brain is a stubborn organ. But you will eventually learn it.
Ririki98
April 28th, 2021 9:01am
It is often really hard to be able to use your critical thinking when emotion gets in the way. Loving something or someone can affect the way you see them and interpret their actions. People tend to acknowledge only the "good"things and dismiss or find excuses for the negatives. Additionally, the more close you are with something or someone, the harder it becomes to distance yourself and be objective. That's why when things get hard, people, choose to "take a break" from relationships or situations. This helps them to re-evaluate the person or the situation and put things under a different perspective.
Anonymous
May 6th, 2021 6:10pm
Sometimes it can be. Oftentimes, our love for a person, activity, or object will blind us from the harmful characteristics it may have, which is why talking to others can sometimes be helpful to allow us to hear a non-biased response to what we may be dealing with. It can also be helpful to create a pros and cons list to figure out, critically, if what we love is helping us or hurting us, despite our attachment to whatever it may be. This can also look like recording our emotions in a journal in relation to this thing, to see if we are having more positive or negative emotions associated with what we love.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2021 10:18am
I think sometimes it does get hard to think critically about something you love because you don't want to accept the negative aspects. For example, if we love a person but you've been noticing that your relationship with them has been changing, you might have wanted to take the time to stop and analyze the person. During this analysis, it might become hard for us to accept that the person has negative qualities that are affecting us. We might be scared about losing them and therefore, we would avoid wanted to point out the negative aspects. This also occurs for ideas or things we love that we don't want to left go of.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2021 11:54am
I do think it is hard to think critically about something that we love. even as a judge in a court, they are forbidden to judge their own family. that's why at some point we might need other's people opinion as consideration. but doesn't mean that we should take everything like taking all the pills without knowing what's use for. in the end of the day, everything is on us. to make a decission and to be ready for all the concequences that could possibly happen in the future. so, we might understand ourself. what do we really need. to think about all the affordable loss we can possibly take because of what we decided.
kindHeart888
June 3rd, 2021 3:17pm
It definitely is! Thinking critically about someone we love can make us feel scared, as we do not want to love them in any way less than we do. However, true love is when you accept someone for who they are, both for their faults and virtues. That's why it is a good exercise to think critically about the person you love, but make sure that you also have before you a list of reasons for why you love them and find them special, so that you can always refer to that list after you have seen them in a 'critical light' too.
Anonymous
October 29th, 2021 3:00am
Yes, it is incredibly difficult because we are always going to be in the mindset of wanting to do what feels the best for us or for the thing that we are thinking about. We are always going to look at situations with a bias whether it be personal, racial, gendered, class, or sexuality standpoint, but especially when we are looking at and thinking critically about something we love. Getting other to weigh in on the issue can bring present a new mindset or way of looking at the situation, but overall it will be challenging to make critical decisions about a topic or a thing that already holds so much love in your heart.
ScarletOwlet
November 7th, 2021 9:40am
Love can blind you to shortcomings and red flags. especially with people in romantic relationships, you have something known as a 'honeymoon period' where critical thinking doesn't happen and you focus only on the positive. If the something in question is something like a skill or a hobby, the positives tend to outweigh the negatives. Especially over time, the imperfections, flaws, and negative aspects become more obvious. However, loving something isn't ignoring the negative aspects, it is accepting them and choosing to love that something despite them and including them. It can be hard to think critically about something you love, but it is certainly not impossible.
roseconstance
November 10th, 2021 1:02pm
Partly yes, because your emotions can cloud your judgment sometimes. However, it's important to recognize that and make sure to think about things with a clear mind and be able to think critically about whatever it is that you're thinking about. For example, if you're thinking about yourself, it can sometimes be hard to see your faults and things of that nature, especially if you think very highly of yourself. In other words, if you really love something, then it can be hard to realize the truth about different things, especially if you are really committed to whatever it is. It's important to remember that your judgement can be clouded, so just keep that in mind while you're evaluating that.
brightdaysahead7
November 30th, 2021 7:25pm
Depending on the circumstances, critically thinking about something you love might come at ease, or it may take some digging. Have you considered mindfullness meditation? I know that can sometimes help calm your mind and body and allow you to focus on what you are trying to give your complete attention to. I would consider trying this and focusing on what exsactly it is you are wanting to critically think about. If you are finding that this doesnt help, try expressing to a friend or loved one how you are feeling and that might help get your thoughts flowing!
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2021 6:44am
It's very hard to think critically of something you love, yes. Love can blind us, and give us rose-tinted glasses that we see through. When we love something, it's a lot easier to forgive things that shouldn't be forgiven and look past weaknesses that we otherwise would have seen. For example, just a couple months ago I got out of a relationship. It ended with him pushing me away, which hurt me a lot. It took me a couple months to heal and move past it, since he meant a lot to me. However, after a while, I realized some things that I hadn't seen before. I found myself thinking back on the bad times, realizing how careless I had been. I personally identify as asexual, and I don't like kissing at all, but unfortunately my partners love language was physical touch. He kissed me a lot, and I secretly hated it, but I let it slide since I loved him and I thought that was my job as a girlfriend. Another time he used me to find out his weight, which he wasn't allowed to know since he had been struggling with an eating disorder. I tried to be firm, saying no and that I didn't think it was a good idea. He started to yell at me, calling me paranoid and demanding I give him his weight. It made me feel really bad, and rather then criticize him, I blamed myself. He tried to kill himself the same night, without talking to me at all before. He used me a lot, and it wasn't a healthy relationship, but I just kept blaming myself when things went wrong because of my love. I regret how hard I tried to get him to stay, and I would have done a lot of things differently. He made me uncomfortable, and he didn't talk to me at all, but I still loved him and stayed. This shows how powerful those rose-colored glasses are, since you can so easily look past their faults.
Vithleem
January 15th, 2022 10:19pm
It can be hard indeed but this doesn't mean that it's impossible! You can try to ask yourself some questions at a time when your mind will be clear: why do I love this? For how long have I loved it? Does it bring to me a sense of comfort? Has it ever helped me? You can also consider what is the approach of the people you trust towards the thing you love. Of course, it depends on whether we're referring to an object, a hobby or a situation! Each case is different and there are, of course, sometimes when even if we have criticized something, we still feel that we can't live without it. You can try to explore the thing you love and she how it goes. It might be a long process, but it will be worth it, as you will learn about yourself as well!
gloriousNarwhal6399
February 11th, 2022 5:27pm
It can be hard to think critically about something you love especially if the result of these thoughts causes you to realize you may need to change your relationship to what you love. Often when we find ourselves thinking critically about something we love it arises out of a desire to change. Change can be scarry and incredibly difficult. If these thoughts result in the conclusion that it may be helpful to change your relationship to something you love but you are not ready, that is okay, it's important to know this for yourself. When we are kind to ourselves in regard to where we are at in this process it can give us the courage, we need to make the changes we would like to see.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2022 11:51pm
Yes, but it isn't entirely impossible. You will most likely ignore their flaws and think about the good qualities that they have. Sometimes you may not even see how bad they are and ignore what others say about them. You can acknowledge that they are good people and at the same time know that they are human and have flaws. In some books, people look at this one person in admiration and have a crush on them just for what they look like or how they present themselves, but really, it's just a simple fling that doesn't matter whatsoever.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2022 1:11pm
Yes. It can be hard to think critically about something you love, or even someone. There is a saying about the fact that love can be blind. When we are in love we usually don`t see the flaws in the other person. Especially at the beggining of a relationship. We like to believe in that romanticized version we created in our head. But nobody is perfect, even our loved one! This is why sometimes asking for advice from a trusted person can be helpful. Someone who is not directly involved can bring another perspective on the potential issue.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2022 2:30am
Having been in a terrible relationship with someone that turned into a person I hated, I can say that yes "love" or the idea of it can impact your critical thinking. I spent several years in a relationship with someone who never put in the same amount of effort. They would emotionally and verbally abuse me but because I was in love with them I let it continue. I told myself many times that it was my fault or that I must've done something wrong. In the end I finally realized that we just weren't meant for each other. I still think about that person and dream that we are still together. I know it's just my subconscious reminding me that I want to be in a loving relationship, he just happens to have been the last guy I was emotionally attached to. Looking back now there were many red flags that I ignored. Things that I let slide or just flat out ignored because thinking about the flaws in the relationship only made the facade crack even more.