Is it normal for parents to push you to get over your anxiety?
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 10:08pm
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
It's common for people who don't understand anxiety to think that you can just "get over it." Those of us who suffer from it know it just isn't that easy. It's also common for parents, who genuinely care about us and don't want to see us hurting, to say or do whatever they can to "help us" when they feel we're in peril. Lots of people can't see past the anxiety to the root cause, and because of it, they address the symptom(the anxiety itself) rather than the cause of the pain(whatever is causing the anxiety) by telling us to move past the surface manifestation like it's as easy as making yourself smile instead of frown.
It is quite normal, actually. Parents don't necessarily understand everything, though they try to be there for us. Maybe sit down with them and talk to them about your needs.
It might be normal, but it is not okay. Not in any way! Your family should support you where they can.
yes. its normal, its how my parents are, but then it just pressures me to be their "perfect" daughter
They should never push a person to get over this because everyday is a process of change,and this can cause stress and tension like being put outside your own body and into an uncomfortable cage in your mind,anxiety can happen over even the smallest things,I struggled with many types of this anxiety and to force one out of his own bubble can make it difficult to get over this anxiety and make it worse
In general, most parents just want the very best for their children. If they're pushing you to get over your anxiety it may be because they don't know of any other means to help you with it, or they have just never experienced it themselves. So, is it normal? In general, most definitely.
I feel that most parents will try to push their child to get over anxiety. However they could be doing it in the wrong way, instead of encouraging or trying to support you they might be pushing you to hard without realising it, they may just be trying to help you and going about it in the wrong way.
I believe that parents do sometimes do that because they have a natural tendency to care for us and as such, doesn't want us to suffer from the anxiety.
Yes. Sometimes parents just don't understand. That might think that you're making it up. Or they might want you to forget about it and be happy. They could even be trying to help you. People show that care in different ways.
Personally, yes from what Ive experienced. My parents are not compassionate or understanding of my anxiety. Which at times, only makes it worse.
Parents want the best for their children and to have an anxious child can be difficult to see. Some parents may want you to "get over it" because they don't want to see you suffer, but most likely, they just don't understand what you are going through. The best way to overcome this is to educate them on what you go through. Get pamphlets, books or include them in therapy sessions occasionally. This will not only show them what you go through but will allow them to help you work on healing yourself. They may feel what you give them is foolish at first and may even reject the idea, but be persistent in your attempts and understand them as you want to be understood. It is a growing and learning experience for all of you.
From my experience, yes. Especially if they don't understand/believe you have anxiety. But in the end you know what your limitations are and what sets things off for you. Keep in mind that you do have to step out of your comfort zone a bit, but don't overdo it and try not to let the things your parents say get to you. It's not a thing you can just "get over".
Parents naturally want their kids to be happy. This may lead them to try to push their child "out" of their anxiety, even though those with anxiety know it is not that simple. They may not go about things the right way, but in general they act with good intentions.
Never, they should be helpful and supportive, they should never force you to do anything, you need to work on your anxiety at your own pace.
It is and in the majority of cases, they will do it, because they want to help you and because they don't really know what to do else, even though they might make it worse by doing so. The only way for you to feel better and for them to be able to really help you, is to talk to them about your feelings, your worries and your needs.
I think it's their way of helping you but someone who hasn't experienced anxiety can't know how it feels like.
Yes, it is. The don't understand what's going on with you because they've either never dealt with it or don't think it's that big of a deal.
From what I've noticed, it's pretty common for parents to try to get their kids out of their comfort zones. It's common, I'm not sure what you mean by normal though...
Not necessarily. Sometimes, they don't understand where you're coming from and how you're thinking so explaining it all to them the best you can often helps.
Yes! I have anxiety and at first when I confronted my mom about it, she actually didn't believe me. She told me to just get over it and that it actually wasn't possible for me to have it. When she finally witnessed one of my anxiety attacks, she no longer questioned it.
Not if the parents are aware of the medical conditions of the child. If they do push if the child is old enough then it will be up to the child to inform the parents of the disorder and what supports they need. If the child is young they need to tell a school counsellor or someone they trust of the negative support they are recieving at home. So they may help to put support in place at home.
Mine don't believe in mental illnesses anyway, so for me? Yes, I'm sad to say it's quite normal. They'll say "It's all in your head." Yeah, that's why we call it a mental illness!
They just want what is best for us however unfortunately sometimes they just don't have the right way of approaching it. And that's okay not everybody, including your parents, will understand.
It is pretty normal from what I've seen. It's good to overcome your anxiety, and your parents are probably looking out for you.
Not at all! Anxiety isn’t something that you can pressure yourself to get over! In fact it’s only going to get worse, parents should support you. I understand that they can get worried and push you to get better but anxiety is like a broken muscle you can only help it heal by doing certain things! Trying to force it to get better will only make it worse and the recovery to take longer.
Normal? Probably. Doesn't mean its healthy. Thing is, your parents likely care about you, and they may not understand anxiety so you'll need to work hard to help them understand. Usually, the easiest way to do this is to direct them to what they can do to help. So if you are having an anxious moment, and they are just pushing you to not feel that way, do you think you could say to them something like "Sorry, but I don't think that's really helping me. What I'd really like is for you to [give me space, come up with some options for how to solve the thing that's making me anxious, get me some water, whatever thing you think you need, etc.]."
Most of the parents feel very uncomfortable with you not feeling well. They struggle to accept their own feelings. Actually they are masters in denying their feelings. Not all of them but many. So they cannot really understand what you are going through. And that's okay. They don't need to. Just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I know you wish they would understand and treat you with compassion and acceptance. Now this is your task to treat yourself like this. Become your own parents. Your job is it to do better then they do. It is like an evolution. You just go a few steps further and learn to embrace yourself and all your feelings.
I definitely understand how that feels! It's already a very difficult task to understand someone else's anxiety, but the unique relationship between a child and their parents complicates the matter further. So is it normal? Yes. I think almost all of us have gone through that. It is acceptable? No. It's a lack of education on mental health. My parents are good people and good parents but they grew up differently than I did. They weren't being mean, they just didn't understand my anxiety. The way my parents and I have worked through this is communication. We communicate. If I am upset, they understand that I need time to process and accept what's going on.
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