Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Should I tell my husband I cheated on him?

96 Answers
Last Updated: 11/13/2018 at 8:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
bambooPanda15
February 13th, 2016 2:55pm
Honesty is always the best. Try to bring it on slowly don't just rush into it. He may be mad at first but try to talk it out.
darlingyouregorgeous
February 13th, 2016 5:22pm
Cheating is a form of dishonesty and you're husband will probably be very hurt when he finds out, but it's definitely better for him to hear it from you than to find out some other way. If you want to hurt him as little as possible I would suggest telling him yourself, soon.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2016 6:18pm
I personally think that you should, honey. Good relationships are based on confidence and comunication.
PacificSunrise
February 20th, 2016 9:09pm
Yes, because being truthful is more important in a marriage I believed. It's better to tell someone something bad that happened recently than to wait because the more we waited, the more guilty and other bad feelings will reside in our hearts and second, the impact will seem to be more stronger as we waited. We just have to own up to our consequences for our actions and not compromise any of our integrity at the same time.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 11:22pm
Yes absolutely. Be honest with him no matter the outcome. Tell him why you have done it and try to work it out. If he doesn't try to work things out then maybe you should start looking for something else.
casicanhelp
February 21st, 2016 3:09am
Relationships are all about honesty. If you cheated on him, it's better you tell him rather than him finding out himself. If you really feel remorse for what you did, you'll tell him you won't do it again. If he trusts you, he will forgive you. If not... I'm not sure if it will last at this point. Sorry to be abrupt, but you need to stay faithful next time.
TangledRivers
February 21st, 2016 9:48am
Absolutely. Though this make require you to take some time to self-reflect on why you did it, or to overcome problematic feelings first so that you can approach him calmly.. Please remember that monogamous relationships involve the consent of both adults. When you are sleeping with another person, then in most monogamous relationships, the consent of your spouse has been voided. That is, they are no longer consenting to your relationship because you have violated their conditions of consent. What that means is that they are ethically entitled to know when you are doing something that crosses their set boundaries in the relationship. Although it is your body and you are free to sleep with whomever you please, you have obligations within your relationship as well, and may need to terminate or renegotiate said relationship before continuing with your actions. Sleeping with other people, even with 'protection', may potentially put your partner's health at risk, and is another reason they have the basic entitlement of knowing whether you are sleeping with other partners. Please discuss this with your husband soon.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:49am
Honesty should be the key thing to a relationship. If he's mad/angry at you, accept it. You made the decision to cheat on him. But maybe your husband will be more accepting if you tell him yourself rather than having to hear it from someone else :)
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 2:56pm
Yes, you definetly should. You probably feel very bad about it and it's better to just be honest about it.
gentleSunset73
February 21st, 2016 4:12pm
Yes. If you cheated on him you probably aren't happy with your relationship with him. Make sure he's calm and just nicely tell him.
Makayla124
February 21st, 2016 9:57pm
You should to create a more honest enviroment. Even though you cheated, by telling him, you are showing a certain level of honesty and trust. The only reason that I would tell you not to tell him would be if you fear for your physical well being.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 8:16pm
Yes, a relationship is built in trust and by cheating on him you've broken that trust. But the best thing about trust is it can be rebuilt
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 8:54pm
More importantly you need to look at why you cheated on him and where your relationship is at the moment. Telling him probably won't strengthen the relationship so I think it depends on how you're feeling about the relationship at the moment and where you see its future.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 6:26pm
There isn't just one answer to this, although the simplest one is that it's a good idea you should. Morally, it is the right thing to do and it would help foster a healthier relationship (if he can overcome the lack of faith and you can rebuild trust). If you are plagued with guilt and have learned your lesson, maybe don't tell him if you can promise yourself it will never happen again.
interestingSky49
February 27th, 2016 7:04am
If you want to. It really doesn't matter at this point though. You've crossed a line you don't cross.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 8:52am
I think honesty is always the best thing to do, it'll free you. It may lead to heartbreak, but sometimes our hearts need to break, so that they could be open to healing, and capable of more love.
enSvenskTiger
March 3rd, 2016 10:26am
Maybe when we do a mistake or something that society in general would consider morally wrong it is easier to flip the tables and ask yourself another question instead, If your husband cheated on you, would you feel like you deserve to know? If your husband cheated on you, would it change your opinion of him? It's not easy to be held to high standards, it's not always fun to take responsibility for our mistakes, but I would say someone you spend your life with deserves to know these things, and if you're lucky he will be willing to try and work it out. In the end it is your relationship and your decision, so ask yourself how you would feel if the tables were turned and act in the best interest of your husband instead of yourself, because in this case the mistake was yours and not his.
WiseOldManCounseling
March 3rd, 2016 1:39pm
Only if you believe it will bring you closer together, or if your moral code necessitates confessing.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 3:07pm
It is good to be open in your relationship. lies would not help anything and they just might make things worse. Honesty is key
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 5:33pm
Honesty is the best policy and if you feel comfortable telling him about it then go for it just be prepared for everything and anything
Anonymous
March 4th, 2016 11:11am
That's a very unique question. I personally think secrecy isn't good in a relationship, but you know your husband much better than I do.
scarlettdream
March 4th, 2016 2:24pm
Yes yes, you should! If you did a bad thing, admit it, admit your mistakes , please explain him, apologize him
Anonymous
March 5th, 2016 9:08pm
depends upon if you really want to save your marriage and then just try to calmly and carefully tell everything and be honesr
Llanah
March 6th, 2016 1:16am
I think it is important that you are honest. I found out I had been cheated on after a long-term relationship, and one of the women was my friend. There were multiple affairs and it was kept a secret from me for years. It really messed me up bad for a long time, I thought I was worthless and I couldn't live up to what these women had. I couldn't fathom what they had and what I didn't. The part that bothered me the most though, was that he didn't tell me. He let the situation get worse and worse, until there was no fixing US anymore. Too many scars came out of the situation, and a lot of people were hurt. It's important to be honest with your partner.
HereForYou001
March 6th, 2016 6:11am
Yes. He deserves to know. Infidelity is a sin. And I not talking in biblical sense. I am not even catholic. Sin in a sense of your marriage. You played with his trust.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 7:47am
Its always better for you to tell him before he finds out or else the consequences would be terrible. If you regret your actions and if he is willing to be by your side on matter what then it would be great! You get to understand your husband better from his reaction to this
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 8:21pm
Yes, you should tell the truth, apologize, and divorce; cheating on somebody is wrong and be honest.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2016 7:15pm
Yes, honesty is the best policy-- as cheesy as that sounds. He will respect you for your honesty and willingness to mend the relationship.
Keola
March 10th, 2016 3:52am
I totally believe that you should tell your husband that you have cheated on him. He needs to know what lead you to doing this act. If he is forgiving maybe you both can seek counseling and improve your communication lines between each other. I am not one to judge but I do believe that if one cheats on their partner, there is something missing in that relationship that requires the both of you to talk about and to come up with solutions together.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2016 2:34pm
You have to be honest with him, tell him what happened and then you both can try and figure out how to move on!