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The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

320 Answers
Last Updated: 08/05/2022 at 6:46am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 2:02pm
Its not about you. Many do that. Its just their texting style. Give them the benefit of doubt that maybe they're occupied with smt and will reply once they're free. Think if you're super busy and read someone's message. Would you leave all your work just to reply to their message? Remember this golden rule of texting : always give people their own time to reply.
blueroot67
September 21st, 2016 10:04pm
I feel this way too sometimes, I often try to think of how busy my own life gets sometimes and how i can't respond to every message.
superpoppy14
October 8th, 2016 10:20am
I get this too - it's a symptom of anxiety and it leads your mind to overthink. Your brain goes into overdrive and it becomes difficult to concentrate on anything else. My coping mechanism is just avoiding it altogether - don't check to see if they have read your message if you can avoid it.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 3:34pm
When such a thing is inducing anxiety, the first thing to do it to breathe deep and exhale through the mouth, while saying to yourself "It's okay, I am going to figure it out". Then when you feel a little relaxed, try taking the problem in a rational way. We can then come across options which can clear the smoke from such issues; e.g., 'maybe they are a busy right now' 'may be they are too sleepy/tired to reply right now" and so on. Such a take can someway or the other, calm the racong thoughts!
helpwhenyouneedit4
April 16th, 2017 3:58pm
When people see my messages but don't answer me, I remind myself that they might be busy or they may have just forgotten to reply. Some people, however, may not be very close to me and I remind myself that I shouldn't be too concerned about them not answering me.
RibenaFan55
April 13th, 2017 11:47am
I often feel this, and so do a lot of my friends. It's natural, and you can't help your response. However, there are many reasons why this could happen: maybe the person is busy, and will reply later; maybe they have nothing further to add and want the conversation to naturally ebb away; maybe they hastily checked it and then forgot to reply.
OpenedEyes
January 12th, 2017 4:03pm
Many people are in this situation. It's not a matter of coping, it's simply patience. Find yourself busy with something to occupy your time.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2017 8:13pm
I've felt this same anxiety about the text message check mark. Assumptions can be a powerful trigger for anxiety! Particularly negative assumptions, like thinking that someone is ignoring you and creating reasons why. Instead, I try to forgive them for not having the ability to text back right away, and distract myself with something healthy, like walking, studying, or even starting a conversation with another friend. Hope this helps!
Soulartgirl26
March 23rd, 2018 11:36pm
Yeah. My anxiety just spikes up. In my mind, I've already thought of all the things I've done wrong to make them not want to reply. But we have to remember, some people are just not like us. We just have to accept, some, just don't reply quick. That's just how they are and that's not something we can change
WoundSoother
June 2nd, 2018 6:54am
You're assuming they're ignoring you but that's not necessarily the case. Actually that's probably the most negative assumption. When that happens to me I find positive reasons why they didn't answer. Something like: They saw my message while driving and decided to reply when they reach home! etc etc. The point is: Don't assume and if you do always assume a good thing.
XxToxicFelinexX
June 20th, 2018 9:46am
I do feel this way sometimes as well. It is scary, but the person who you are messaging may be busy at the moment, otherwise if they don't message you in the next day or so, message them again and if the same thing happens again, talk to them, unless you think they aren't worth all that stress and anxiety.
AmethystUnicorn
July 2nd, 2018 3:12pm
It is normal to get anxiety about that, your mind wanders into reasons on why the person couldn't or didn't respond. I cope by telling myself that they could've gotten busy or weren't able to respond. If they could respond they would and if they weren't able to, maybe they just looked at it real quick when they could. But do not fret! Just take a few deep breaths and reassure yourself!
TheCup5893
May 5th, 2017 11:12pm
When I was younger, I had that anxiety myself. I always felt that I had to reply on spot and I expected the same out of other people! I don't know how I changed but Now that I think of it, that the stupid seen symbol obligates people to reply on the spot! Why must it be like that? I remember one morning while rushing to UNI, my phone buzzed. I opened the message, left the phone on the table and proceeded to painting my nails while reading that lovely long message from my friend. I did not have the time to reply then and I wanted to be able to reply nice and long. Is it my fault I saw the message and didn't reply on the spot? Personally, I hate the seen option. If people who like us are taking the time to write back, they probably have a reason for it. And now coming to those who do not write back. It's hard. Rejection stings. It has stung me in the past. But we don't need those who reject us, do we? I hope I helped.
furrylittlefox
April 22nd, 2017 8:10pm
I've indeed felt this way before, and at times I still do when it occurs. People have their own lives (and I say that in a dynamic perspective). There can be many reasons for a lack of response from something big happening to as little as forgetting to press send. With coping with such anxiety it's key to remember that this anxiety is just a feeling that flows it'll come and it will pass just as quickly, but it's important to acknowledge this feeling and reflect on why you feel this discomfort.
cherishedSong94
April 16th, 2017 8:03pm
Some people may get anxious when a message is "seen" but not replied to immediately. At times there can be genuine reasons for this. The other person may be busy and/or forget to reply, or they are doing something which is more important than answering the message. In that case, keep yourself occupied with other things and be patient! However, if such thing happens every time with certain people, then it might be time to ask them what is wrong and why they are not answering your messages. If this persists, you should stop messaging the person because they might be needing some space or are maintaining distance.
CarolineFCY
April 12th, 2018 7:41pm
Would it help to hear the other side of the issue? The "seen" message, or any other proof that I've noticed/read someone's message, stresses me out because of my social anxiety. Online or off, I have trouble immediately knowing how to respond. Conversation-wise, my brain is often a little spinny loading wheel. I don't dislike the person at all! What I do dislike is today's amount of accessibility. I don't want to always be having a conversation, even if it's my favorite person in the world. I want to have alone time. Sure, I could tell them that straight up, but my anxiety tells me that they'll still be hurt. I've gotten an "I see" reply before and it made me so guilty and stressed. However, I've been on the waiting end before and it made me antsy as well. I just try to do other things while I wait, like read my twitter timeline or watch something.
whimsicalLake46
August 19th, 2017 1:14am
I completely understand how you feel; I always feel anxious when someone has "seen" what I've said and taken what feels like a century to respond. However, while it does seem difficult, taking your mind off of it by distracting yourself with an activity, no matter how trivial it is, can definitely help to put your mind at ease, or, at the very least, it helps me.
Peacefulmind22
January 5th, 2020 8:32am
Yeah! We all feel ignore in that situation.Ignore feel like we are not special to that person. But take it in positive way. Might be she/he busy in work or might be she/he is not in condition to reply you. Wait for him/her reply. Feel something like anxiety its troubling situation. Make your self busy in other activity to avoid this ignoring situation and be positive with that person. It helps you a lot. Show empathy to that person. You are also sometime not in condition to reply immediately think about it. Control your thinking. Bring it from negative to positive pathway.
Mogsyt
July 21st, 2015 6:17pm
i think everyone feels like this! well i know i do! and it sucks because you feel let down or like your not good enough and it can turn into this thought pattern that spirals. the way i cope is like this, how many times have i not messaged back for ages because I'm busy or thinking of something to say? They could have stuff on, at a club, need to check if their free if your inviting them to something or just forgot they opened it, and if they are that ignorant to ignore you then it their loss! so then you go on the inter net and look agh the Facebook seen memes and laugh :D
Anonymous
May 31st, 2018 11:37am
I also feel the same I think that the person is ignoring me intentionally but I tell myself that maybe he is busy and will reply to me after a certain time.
lisslistens
May 25th, 2018 3:33am
I try and remember that there are a million reasons someone would have seen my message and not replied, and only one of them is that they want to ignore me. It can be difficult to rationalize with yourself, but what’s going through our heads usually isn’t going through the people we care about’s.
Luxe1407
October 8th, 2016 7:04pm
I feel this as well sometimes! I usually try to run through other reasons why they could not be responding. For example, I'll say to myself that they're busy, they'll get back to me soon, and they do care or they wouldn't have been talking to me in the first place. Repeating these and other little affirmations help me a lot personally!
calmPaul281
June 22nd, 2018 1:01pm
I know that this can be a difficult thing, but I know that some people really focus on what they can control. and not worry too much about what they can't . You control the message you send out, what you cannot do is control what the person does who reads that message. So why worry? Is it annoying when its been seen and you get no reply, definitely, is it worth worrying about, no.
lillieslavender
March 28th, 2018 2:48am
I also feel anxiety over this. To cope I just try not to use that platform as much and talk in person or some other way that gives me less stress. If thats not an option try to remember that they probably aren't ignoring you, they're just busy.
romanticthi3f
February 1st, 2018 1:53am
Hell to the yeah, and this is a big part of why I don't have Facebook anymore! If you can, try and brainstorm alllll of the other reasons why they might not have replied yet: - Maybe they read it and meant to reply but forgot - Maybe they wanted to wait and chat with you or give it a longer answer - Maybe they didn't feel like talking to anyone and just want to browse the feed instead - Maybe they thought they didn't need to reply Hope this helps some :)
EchoingHope
May 26th, 2018 2:32am
Yes, I have felt this, and it's difficult. I was able to start coping better with it once I realized that I too, do the same thing, and the people on the other side have either just forgotten to reply or are too busy at the moment. You cannot let how fast someone replies define you.
kindPeace2936
April 23rd, 2020 9:04am
Yes I feel this way also. I think it is important to remember how busy people's lives are and how they have so much going on. We should remember that although they have seen the message they are not necessarily ignoring it. There could be many reasons, perhaps they have seen a message come through from you and they are keen to read what it says so they open it, therefore flagging it as "seen". But consider they are in the middle of something, an assignment, a meeting, looking after a child, eating their dinner or preparing food? There could be any number of things they are currently focused on that would mean they can't give their response to you the time or focus that you and your message deserve. When they have time they will reply, we just need to bear this in mind and not let our imaginations carry us away.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 9:44pm
I believe almost everyone has had this feeling. People feel unsecure when knowing that your friend/love/someone has seen the message but doesn't answer. I believe patience is what is necessary. If you have waited for a very long time, try send a little message, maybe just an emoji or a kind 'have you seen my message?' to them, it usually helps :) Often people just forget that they saw the message and since the notification is gone, they don't see it anymore and therefore doesn't answer
cheerfulIceCream
August 28th, 2021 6:39pm
Hello! Well, I can very much relate to that feeling of anxiety. I experience a similar feeling when I see someone I really want to talk to has seen my message and hasn't responded. It makes me doubt if they care about me etc. I can understand how you struggle with it. ): To cope with it I - • Take a step back. • Take deep breathes. • Tell myself they might have had something come up when they messaged me and they want to reply to me just as much as I want to read their message. • If I have an anxious thought, identify the evidence for it and against it. •Rehydrate and get preoccupied by something else.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2016 6:16am
I totally understand what you are going through. Seeing the "Seen" message gives a lot of people anxiety I'm sure.