The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?
Last Updated: 09/19/2021 at 5:53am
Lisa Groesz, PhD
With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.
Top Rated Answers
I think a lot of people relate to this. It used to be that way for me, but I've grown used to it and don't mind it unless I wanted an immediate response. How I deal with it though is that... I try to think of what could be happening right now in their life. Like... My friend has a suicidal sister and lives with their grandma. Anything could happen with them. So I usually take in consideration what things they could be dealing with at that moment. Sometimes it's not something serious though. I also think about the time, if it's late, they could be sleeping. If it's not late though.. Depending on the person, they're probably with family or playing games. Or got distracted. I usually think about these things and then will go and do my own thing. Something to get my mind away from, "Oh God, they aren't responding. They saw it. And won't reply. I didn't say something correctly." Like... Step away from that and relax. They'll reply eventually.
Sometimes people open things without really reading them, it doesn't mean they are ignoring you, but I have definitely felt the same! I cope by trying not to look at delivery reports, and knowing that my friends live busy lives too.
actually it's not critical issue, because maybe this person is working now or study and maybe have something important and will come back also we all make seen sometimes and don't reply
I feel this all the time, especially when people have the read receipts on iMessage that tell you once someone has seen your message. I just cope by reminding myself that I didn't say anything wrong and whoever I was talking to has their own reasons for not responding at the moment. It could just mean that they're busy, it doesn't mean that they're trying to ignore you!
I feel like this quite often. The thing is they probably are doing something or they don't have time to reply. When this happens I usually text someone else or play on my phone.
I have felt this many times! Especially when considering a new dating relationship, or someone you have some form of romantic feelings for, but I have learned to always remind myself that I am only in control of what actions I make or what things I say.
its important to first know why people go to Facebook. lots of time they are just trying to distract themselves from something else. Often times they may read something and not know how to respond or not have the time to give an appropriate response. Breathe! Know that you are enough on your own without any validation from any social media site.
I feel this as well! i'm afraid they are ignoring me or think i'm weird. When this happens to me, i take a deep breath and try to think about a time where i looked at a message but didn't respond. This helps me remember that everyone has a life and things going on and that they are probably just busy.
Yes, I relate. Most of the time, I assume they are busy but why would they read it but NOT reply? I always think of the worst things which never leads into anything.
I often feel the same way. Anytime I send an e-mail, text, letter. . . if the person doesn't reply for a while, I immediately think of all the possible reasons why. Try not to worry about people who don't respond to you. I know it's hard. But I try to realize that the person actually may not have anything against me; and if they do, it's not really my problem. If I've upset them in some way, they should bring it to my attention.
I feel the same when when someone leaves me on read.. Really there isn't anything you could do, I think positively like maybe they got called to do something before they could reply, or got a phone call, or something important and they'll reply later, but if they don't I shoot them another message after a couple of hours later.
Of course this can cause a lot of anxiety, it can be unnerving to know someone has seen what you have said but not replied. I generally cope by knowing there could be reasons that I don't know about. For example they were distracted by something else, they needed to go to dinner etc. I know it can be hard and possibly nerve racking, but it's often easier to distract yourself or do something instead of waiting, as I am sure for the most part there was a valid reason.
I feel this all the time, and it is painful sometimes, when you feel you are deliberatedly being ignored. Be patient with others, so as with yourself.
I’ve felt this before,so i just give excuses to the other person like the internet is broken or they’re thinking about a really good reply or their dog was barking so they went to see it.
I understand how you feel and experience this also. I try to reminded myself that they may have gotten busy and think back to a time I have accidentally done this too someone. If you have a close relationship (feeling comfortable) maybe you could bring this up with certain people you talk to.
Try to think about the good things that they are doing. They may be busy or their computer may have died. Talk to other people in the meantime.
Try to keep in mind that social media isn't the same as a real-life face-to-face interaction. Someone not replying to a message right away is NOT the same thing as them ignoring you in real life, even though it feels that way. It's always a good policy to put yourself in someone else's shoes and give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're at work or school and they had time to glance at their phone, but not time to type out a reply. There could be a million reasons why they don't reply right away, so try not to assume!
It happens to lots of us. Sometimes it can just be because that person wants you to know that they have seen your message but they are busy so will reply later - there are many possible explanations so don't beat yourself up about it I'm sure they will reply soon.
Yes, I can definitely relate to this. Sometimes I’m unable to stop the thought cycle but when this happens I try to recognise it and accept I’m having the thoughts. Then I sit and breathe for a while and try to calm myself.
Yes, this is actually very common among anxiety. What helps me is just talking to other loved ones and understand that people sometimes can't respond right away, or know how to respond, and that's okay.
I think the anxiety that comes from the seen message may be miswired in that concept. It was intended for people to know only if the message was seen “whew, glad they saw it.” So that you can know that the other person simply saw their message - like if your going to be late because of traffic. Try everytime you think- why didn’t they respond, to reprogram instantly with, “I’m not be ignored I.e. rejected- they just didn’t have time to respond. The more reprogramming from negative to positive the more you will see those negative thoughts will go away and rarely start from negative anymore
I think everyone experiences this to some degree. I find it helpful to remind myself of all the times that I might have not responded to a message as soon as I saw it, and what my reasons were. That way I can be more realistic about how I interpret it from others. Usually delays are just because people are busy.
Not every time someone does not respond is about 'you'. It could be that this person is busy, have other things on his/her mind. We are all captives of quick, on the moment communication but sometimes people need time to respond.
I get this a lot, I usually send another message if they don't reply within around 5 - 10 mins. If they read that one and don't reply I know they're ignoring me and then my mind isn't wandering through all the possible scenarios.
I feel this and the best way of coping in my opinion is ignoring the conversation until the person decides to reply to you. If you see them in real life you could always ask if they're mad, annoyed, ect.
I'd like to provide some perspective from someone who does a message but doesn't always reply soon! First of course I'd like to apologize for any anxiety I had caused but I think the thing about social media is that we have it so conveniently with us that we receive messages at all times of day, when we're doing anything and maybe just taking a peek at our phones. I often look at my phone and see the message but it's not at a time I am able to reply (ie at work, in a social situation etc)! I often wait till a time I am alone and able to take the time to reply to do so. So I think it's important to consider the possibility that not replying after having seen the message may not necessarily mean they are ignore you.
seen status of the message can happen many ways. Sometimes, kids or spouse access the messanger other time in hurry or while driving or doing something critical or safety related stuff the recipient might browsed which causes the seen status Until, response is negative, it is worth leaving things neutral
This happens to me on a regular basis. Some people are just good at getting back to others and some are not. I find different ways to cope. Either only check once a day so it doesn't consume you. Or find an alternative way to chat. That's my two cents. Great question!!
i definitely feel the same. i guess the way i cope with it is to just not think the worst. i just say that they might be busy or maybe accidentally opened the chat and forgot about it.
I totally feel this! Recently, I have decided not to care as much. I tell myself "I could have read this in between things or during a 5m break at work and I will reply when I am able and ready, they will know I wasn't ignoring with that reply, so I do not need to worry."
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