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What do you do about obsessing over someone you barely see?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 02/04/2020 at 3:23pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD


I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
January 1st, 2018 4:33am
There are two things to do: either, you pursue a relationship (whether it's platonic or romantic) or you leave thoughts of them behind. If you truly feel like that person is an interesting person, it's always a good idea to try and know more about them. We tend to idealize people and put them on a pedestal if we don't know them in real life (e.g. celebrities). Yet, if you are willing to try, it's always lovely to be able to know that person better and understand them on a personal level. That way, your interest in them won't just be an obsession - you can build trust and a relationship over time :) If you feel like your obsession isn't healthy, you can try letting it go. This will be hard, but focusing on activities or people that can take your mind off of that one person will help you remember that it's the present that matters and the people that are in it. Good luck! x
March 4th, 2015 7:51pm
I have this experience often! I've learned to get up and get busy when I'm obsessing. Clean the house, take a walk, get involved in my own life. It's helpful to stay busy.
May 16th, 2016 2:15pm
I try to get my mind off them by doing other things, like reading, listening to music or spending time with other people who I enjoy spending time with. That often helps!
March 8th, 2015 4:46am
From my experience, the best thing to do is this situation is to occupy your mind with various activities such as sewing, painting, exercise, gardening, cooking, ect. Tasks such as these require close attention, thus freeing you from your obsession.
August 15th, 2015 7:30pm
Just realize that if you can't be there you can't be there. You can only do what you can do. If you are missing someone who is far away, realize that you're just hurting yourself. If it is a relationship, it requires talking and seeing each other is important too. Long distance relationships are possible but very hard. Especially if not actually in a relationship or only in a potential relationship. You will be much better off focusing on the people and the task at hand. Sometimes getting to know someone, that distance will slow you down enough to think without getting more emotionally involved without the facts, because I feel like you get more facts by just communication without all the "Wow, you're so beautiful!" Obviously they are beautiful, but you need to get to know how the person is used to behaving. I realized that a relationship wasn't what I wanted and not too soon. This was because I was long distance and took it slow.
August 18th, 2015 9:19pm
you're missing the person in ordinary words. 1st know your reason why then how you lessen it after ask what it is
December 28th, 2015 10:50pm
I would try and forget about it, obsessing over someone is never a good idea especially if they don't reciprocate the same feelings, you could push them away. It's best to concentrate on something else, probably not someone else and if it's meant to be then it'll happen.
May 14th, 2018 9:07pm
If you are trying to break the obsession, think about why you are obsessed, is it looks or personality or the way they dress? If it is something superficial then you may realise you have no idea why you began to like them if you barely know them
April 28th, 2015 10:15am
distraction. Obession is normally not a normal behaviour, and we normally do this because we are scared we are going to lose that person, space and distraction is the key. a busy mind is happy mind. Try socialise more, or do things that will make you happy not involving that person.
June 8th, 2015 3:22pm
Put my mind on current things and people I see. Soon or later, the previous memory fades out and then the new life occupies my mind.
September 1st, 2015 1:35pm
Visualise seeing them- strange I know. And then have a little freak out within when I do finally see them.
December 14th, 2015 5:26am
i try not to think about them. distance myself, surround myself with other people. it gets really hard though.
March 22nd, 2016 3:30am
IF its a close friend that we have lost contact with, consider sending them a message saying hi, If thats not appropriate then consider that maybe life just gets in the way of the connection you once had and that its not them ignoring you. Its just how life can be sometimes,
April 4th, 2017 9:11pm
I try to keep myself busy by doing productive things. Such as cleaning my house, walking my dog, or reorganizing my room.
March 19th, 2018 1:24am
You can figure out the reasons that may make you want to obsess over someone else you barely see like you missed having a good time with them, they did something nice or even when you were down being a friend to help you through it too.
December 3rd, 2019 8:14am
First of all think about why you barely see them. Is it someone unattainable or is it just that you are far apart? If you're obsessing over them can you ask yourself why, what are your worries and concerns? How is this obsession making you feel? What would you tell a friend who was in this situation? Is there something else going on in your life or affecting you that is leading you to use this obsession as a crutch to ignore the real issue. If it isn't making you feel good it probably isn't worth it. Treat yourself kindly but firmly.
February 4th, 2020 3:23pm
Well, there are healthy obsessions and unhealthy ones: the idea is to listen to your own emotions and try to observe them as if you were at a distance. Are you capable of conducting a nice life? Are you "functioning" well? Are those thoughts affecting the way you relate yourself with other people or, on the opposite, are they making you feel stronger and happier? Are you ready to confess your feelings and unveil your emotions? Love, at first sight, is a thing we can't ignore, but healthy boundaries are the most important thing to aspire to when we admire someone and we're obsessed with them.