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What is a good way of moving on after a break-up especially when you feel you were the one who caused most of the problems?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 09/11/2018 at 2:55pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
December 25th, 2017 8:22am
To focus on improving yourself. Make it a list of goals of things that you want to accomplish and start tackling each goal. Take some time to reflect on yourself, who you want to be. Reflect on why you felt you might have instigated problems and work on yourself. Be honest with yourself but don’t punish yourself over past mistakes. Stay positive and remember your are awesome, worthy of love and put here for a purpose.
January 26th, 2015 12:50am
In my experience the only way that I could move on was to apologize to her for what I had done and what I hadn't done that contributed to the breakup.
April 24th, 2015 3:51pm
Alot of time is spent on self reflection, but then that leads us to think that we need to change who we are, because our relationships keep on ending because of how we treat people in the relationship. I say the best way to move on is keep been yourself, and know that one or two or many different partners might all be wrong, but theres many more that could slot into the relationship nicely its just alot of work finding the right one.
June 16th, 2015 9:41pm
I think the best way to move on and progress in your life after a tough break up , especially one were you feel mostly at fault, is to evaluate some of your negative traits (i.e. perfectionism, narcissism) and your positive traits because you have those too. Finally just try to figure out why you are like that so you can take steps to minimize them- that way you can have more fulfilling experiences in your life time. I hope that helps :)
June 22nd, 2015 9:05am
Learn to forgive yourself! Everyone makes mistakes, but you learned from it right? Go out with friends, and find activities to do! Things will get better.
September 1st, 2015 2:31pm
A good way to move on after a breakup when you are meant to believe that it was all your fault is to actually give yourself some time to heal, give yourself some space in between friends and self growth, find the support that you're looking for in others that have been through a breakup and that are able to reflect back on their own experience and can help you through the many stages of the transition. Most importantly take advantage of this time for self reflection.
December 8th, 2015 2:12pm
Talk to friends and family, talking about problems always helps. Maybe some of the family members/friends can give you advice when they agree that you caused a problem.
December 29th, 2015 2:12pm
I would reconsider if i am the one who caused the problems and learn from those mistakes and I won't make it again so I can make another one.
March 1st, 2016 12:09am
A good way to move one is just forget about him, it will be hard but most break ups are hard and we just need to move on from the past and think to the future! Know that he was not for you in the first place and work from there.
March 21st, 2016 5:39pm
Is it true? Is it the reality? Try to understand the situation without judgement as you don't judge why leaves fall from a tree. It is just the situation.
June 20th, 2016 6:56am
A good way of moving on after a break-up is to understand that some things aren't meant to be. It's not all your fault and you'll find someone who you match with better. Find a new project to take your mind off of it and focus on yourself and your happiness.
July 25th, 2016 9:26pm
Sorround yourself with positive people that makes you feel good. And also don't be afraid of showing your emotions it's always fair to feel sad after a breakup
August 15th, 2016 3:03am
An important part of the healing process when you know you've hurt someone else, is to ask for forgiveness no matter how hard it seems.
August 22nd, 2016 1:46am
It might be a good investment to explore these issues with a therapist in order that you do not repeat this pattern in relationships throughout your life.
October 24th, 2016 6:40am
Give yourself time to mourn. You may want to move on immediately, but you have to understand that they were a part of your life, and even if it ended poorly, you just need to come to terms with that and only then can you really move on. Once you do, it's good to spend some time focusing on your hobbies or work. Even if work is just school, either way, it can be helpful!
May 15th, 2017 5:19am
Breathe. Remember you are growing and time heals. You'll be okay. I know it feels rough, however, tomorrow is a new day. You've got this!
March 5th, 2018 2:04am
start by apologising to the other person and actually meaning it. Whenever you think about the ex instead of dwelling on them you can dedicate 10-15 minutes of studying or doing something productive
September 11th, 2018 2:55pm
guilt and sorrow are close friends. People try to run away from both, but this only triggers more guilt and more sorrow. The best you can do is to listen to your deepest feelings and embrace your human nature. You have made mistakes and and those mistakes have an effect on your daily life. Embrace such impact and take it for what it is — a lesson. You'll shortly be able to discover how capable of love you are and you'll fill up the void long before meeting someone else. Don't rush into new relationship until you can stand on your own.