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What should I do if I end up crying, and I find myself struggling to breathe?

288 Answers
Last Updated: 06/02/2022 at 1:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
PoliteOcean
September 21st, 2015 5:37pm
Everyone is different. There is no one fits all answer. But you have to try to find what works for you and calms you down. Whatever that may be. If you don't know , then make yourself a list. The next time it happens you may know what to do.
prettypenguin124
September 18th, 2016 3:00pm
take deep breaths, and if you can then tell somebody about it that you trust. try to do something that calms you down, like talking to a friend, cuddling a stuffed animal, playing music etc. it always tends to help me :)
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2018 12:48am
Breathe in and out slowly. Doing this can calm your nerves. When you cry, you have no control, doing this will help you gain control.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2016 12:40pm
Take deep breaths, do it until you've calmed yourself. It's not easy I know, but you can do it! Hope this helps!
Anonymous
October 1st, 2016 1:41am
You need to ask you need to isolate yourself from your thoughts. Sit stare at a wall or space and focus on that. If you're actually doing that you should find that you're breathing is slowing down and you crying will stop. You can even sing a song with the wall and don't think about it whatever it is
LetsCherishLife
May 26th, 2018 3:12am
It's perfectly fine to cry and that is way better than bottling up emotions and also it's quite normal that crying makes it a bit more difficult to breathe. If you get a bit panicky and really start to struggle you might want to try some breathing techniques. Mine is breathing in through nose and out through mouth (if crying it might be easier through mouth only), breathe deep down into the abdomen rather than the chest and breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 1, out for 6 and hold for 2. You can work up to that slowly in steps and you should start to feel better soon once you get there.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 3:45am
I have been through this a lot. First find some calm thought or person to considerate on, and then either sit down or find a comfortable position. Then focus on your breathing and try to slow it down. Find a good rhythm, at your own pace, and only focus on your breathing. If that doesn't work try laying on the ground or doing something that calms you down.
Viri1124
February 15th, 2019 11:59pm
This happens frequently for me if I have breakdowns, but I have perfected some great ways to help you to get your breathing back under control! 1. Try to name the first 10 things that catch your eye. If you can say them out loud, then that helps even more, but if you can’t, then even just thinking them should help. 2. Try counting up to ten, then back down to one. While you are doing this try to take a breath in on odd numbers, and breathe out on odd ones. 3. Feel your heartbeat. I know this one sounds weird, but for me it helped remind me that I am in control of the situation. Hope this helped!
AngelSpeaker101
August 16th, 2019 3:00pm
First thing you want to do is try and calm yourself, if its due to medical issues tell someone around or call and ambulance. Though the best solution is trying to be calm, as hard as it might be. Think about the problem causing you to feel this way and wonder what you or someone else could do to make the situation better. The key is calmness, breath in and out very slowly to slow down your heart rate. Don't panic or over think as it can be dangerous. Keep telling yourself it will get better and you will be fine.
ExoCute
April 22nd, 2020 10:25am
I know this feeling very well. Let yourself cry, but breathe. Seriously, force yourself to breathe. And if you have the chance to, have someone next to you. Sometimes when I can't breathe is because I feel like I'm drowning in my emotions, and it can get very scary. Having someone next to me can be very reassuring and distracts me a lot in those times. Otherwise, you can try and use something called the "fourfold breath". You inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try and repeat it until your breath calms down, focus on it, and let yourself realize that your emotions are simply that, emotions. If you find yourself breaking down crying again, try and eat something small, a candy, or even drink some water. It lets your body know that everything is fine, and really helps breaking the cycle of negative emotions and thoughts. I hope this helped!
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2019 5:13pm
It might be tough when that happens but what I usually do is when I recognize that I am struggling I try to bring myself back and think to myself in my head to focus on breathing, such as in-out-in-out-etc. Recently I've found that humming a tune that is memorable in my head helps with focusing. It brings your brain to think away from the reason you are crying and to focus on breathing. Though, of course, what worked for me isn't going to work for you for sure. You can try to take in ideas and explore but most importantly take it slowly and take care of yourself.
Tomitrigg
October 2nd, 2019 7:43pm
Take a deep breath and try to think of something positive. Why do you feel that you will end up crying and find yourself struggling to breathe? It sounds like you have some anxiety. I understand why you are feeling scared but just know that I am here for you if you need anything. This is only a stepping stone and you'll be okay. I can't give you any advice but I can always be here to listen. If you need any other assistance, 7cups hotline can definitely help you out with anything you need. Let's schedule a time every week to discuss more.
endlesstory
October 25th, 2019 6:32pm
Personally, I can really relate to this question. Growing up I would come home from school and start crying and had difficulty breathing. I would talk to my therapists about it, and they gave me some ideas of things I could do. I started meditating, I would download some relaxing piano music on my phone, and whenever I would have a hard time with my breathing I would simply plug my earbuds in. It took a while for me to adjust to this technique, I was hesitant at first because in all seemed very very clique to me. It took a long time, but eventually, meditation began to help me with my anxiety attacks.
Ruby2001
November 1st, 2019 1:26pm
If you are struggling to breathe then drink water. Calm yourself down and then close your eyes and take deep breath. In your mind repeat these words given below: "I know my importance and I love myself. I know myself." Then open your eyes slowly. If you are still feeling sad then write your feelings in a personal notebook or a diary. That's my personal way to deal with people who are crying or deal with myself when I cry. Smile and stay positive. You know your importance. You know who you are. Good luck. Remember happiness is within you. 💛
Anonymous
November 1st, 2019 10:01pm
I have had times in my life when I ended up crying and couldn't breathe. It was a really tough time when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now things are back to normal and don't cry as much. Crying is a good thing as it lets out the emotions and the experience feels ever so real. So, what to do well you could accept the crying and experience it as possibly after you finish you'd feel better. You could write things down so you can think back to how you are feeling after you have cried. What do you think?
Anonymous
March 18th, 2020 10:48pm
When you're crying and struggle to breathe, it helps me a lot to make sure I breathe deeply when I inhale, even if I hiccup when I'm doing it, that way I'm getting the air in. Your brain needs the oxygen to be able to function properly and getting that oxygen in will help you move from your emotion mind over into your wise mind that can handle your emotions better! Just embracing the emotions and going "I'm sad and that's okay" or saying "I'm anxious and this is the best way I can deal with it right now" is a good way to get you into your wise mind!
Whitney128
June 2nd, 2022 1:09pm
Sit down. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, then breathe out for twice the length. Focus on your senses, what can you smell or hear at this moment? This will ground you. Continue those breaths, in, out, in, out. You are going to be ok. Think of a time and a place that made you feel safe and happy. Focus on that place. Breathe. When you are feeling a little better, open a window or door and take some deep breaths of fresh air, feel the wind on your face. Right here in this moment you are ok. I hope this helps.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2020 5:18pm
Take a lot of deep breaths, do some head space, guided meditation, or write it all down in a diary, to get out all of your emotions a complete train of through will help you identify what it is that is bothering you. Once you have done so let go of the things that you have no control over, and accept the things you can start to formulate strategies that will help you regain control over the things that you can do anything about. Also afterwards, practice self care ; maintain a healthy sleep cycle, look after yourself you have one body to house your mind.
EternalSpring823
April 12th, 2020 9:15pm
Take a seat. Then, place your hand on your chest. Take deep breaths, counting to three, then releasing after a 3 count. Feel the weight of your hand, the thump of your heart. Try to focus on slowing that beat just a little. Don't focus on anything else around you. You can do this. You are safe. You are strong. If your lungs are still too tight, raise your arms and put your shoulders back. Deep breaths in and out. Feel them rise and fall. Continue this until you have calmed down. Best of luck. You can make it through this.
SugarCrumbs
April 12th, 2020 5:04pm
I find that focusing on your breathing always helps a lot! If you hyperventilate you will have that feeling like you're struggling to breath and your body will get numb. Breath slowly in and out, in and out. Try not to lose your focus, and soon it will be easier to breath! It will also ease your mind, as you won't be worried about anything else. If the feeling gets out of control and you feel the need t go to the hospital, as a last resourse do it. But remember that this feeling will go away with time.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2020 11:25pm
the first thing to do is calm down. try to breathe deep breaths maybe 5 or 10 and that should immediately calm you down, i know that from my own experience. but other than that drink alot of water as when you exessivley cry you loose a lot of fluid so drinking water will make you feel better. i know how hard it can be and if your struggling please speak to people before it gets to that point for your own mental wellbeing. you're not alone there are people always there to listen. crying isn't a bad thing remember, you're going to be okay Holly x
CourageousHeart1602
April 1st, 2020 3:31pm
There are several things one can try that can help you regulate breathing at such times. Though it depends on the person and what will help you so you can always explore your options and see what fits you best. What I found helps me is leaving the room/place where I am at, put my earphones on (whether something is playing or not depends on my mood) and just go for a walk. Sometimes we can't breathe is because of the intense emotions we are feeling and getting away from the place helps. Whether you continue walking or just go to a quiet place to sit, cry and just hug yourself, easing the pressure on your chest and shoulders helps a lot in breathing regularly. Othertimes, difficulty in breathing when crying may be due to a rising panic attack. What I have found that works for my friend is that when she has difficulty in breathing it helps to ask her questions that are completely irrelevant to the current situation such as "Name all the superheroes you know from Marvel", "Name all the female celebrities with great hair" etc. So if you are experiencing difficulty in breathing because you were crying it helps to distract your mind which would allow you to calm yourself and breathe evenly. Most importantly, remind yourself that you're safe. When we can't breathe when we cry is because our body's sympathetic nervous system has been activated and it is in "fight or flight" mode. You need to reassure yourself that you're okay. Pat your arms, legs, face and chest, stare at them and tell yourself "I'm okay". With every "I'm okay" take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. You are okay, your body is okay, you just need to convince your mind that you're okay for now and you can talk about what had caused you to cry with someone (like a friend or a listener here at 7cups) until your mind has calmed. I know in those moments it is really terrifying but you are so strong, love. You can do it. I believe in you. Take care of yourself and stay safe.
virtualschoolnurse60
March 28th, 2020 10:15pm
Crying disrupts the regular pattern of our breathing. Crying is a natural response to sadness and grief. It is a way of releasing tension and the flowing of tears actually cleanses our body in a small way. Crying can be good but obviously when one gets so distressed that it interferes with breathing, things can get out of hand. When we cry, it irritates the muscles in our diaphragm and it sort of "gets confused". In addition, we tend to take short little breaths and not deep ones when we cry. This can keep us from getting a good deep breath full of the oxygen our body needs. So what to do? Well, first relax and know that this will pass. Now. If you can, sit in a quiet place, put a cool cloth over your forehead or face. Close your eyes and place both hands over your belly. Now breathe in slowly, counting to 5 and then, breathe out slowly counting to 5. Just concentrate on those slow breathes. You'll start feeling better in no time!
LovelyFlower17
March 25th, 2020 5:28pm
I always do this strategy. Breathe in through your nose count to five. Hold it for 10 seconds and breathe slowly through your mouth for 5 seconds. It will help you with your breathing and will help calm you down. Drinking water also helps crying as well. Also, do not be afraid to talk to a listener on here or even a therapist. We all want to help you in any way shape or form and we all hope that you feel better very soon because your emotions mean a lot. Hope this advice helps you in some way. Have a fantastic day
Anonymous
January 30th, 2020 6:28am
Do your best to get to a safe space, just somewhere you can try and sit with yourself to try and regain your composure. Focus on taking slow deep breaths, in and out, if you really need to follow one of those circle gifs, they really help you focus your breathing. Also washing your face may help you calm yourself down, warm water does the trick for me. It helps soothe me and calm me down, while also allowing me to clean up the tears from my face. A mixture of both these action is usually a good way to try and calm yourself down.
beautifulsoul247
December 26th, 2019 2:08pm
You're not alone in experiencing this and people have different ways of coping. During such an episode, I preferred exposure to as few people as possible. Concerned stares only made it worse for me. Then I needed space, either outdoors or a spacious room. A bathroom cubicle seems private, but I'd feel like the walls were closing in on me. Sitting upright also eased the tightness in my chest. After the fact, I found it helpful to understand why I reacted this way. I'd struggle to breathe because I'd hyperventilate. I'd hyperventilate because of panic. Particular things triggered my panic. While hyperventilation is not dangerous in itself, it does feel really scary in the moment. It's simply your body's way of informing you of your excessive worry about something. It helped to identify my triggers, then come up with a plan to solve or cope with them next time. This worked for me. I hope you find a way to cope too.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2020 7:33am
When I find myself crying and struggling to breathe I find it very grounding to lay flat on my back and put weight on my body (like a heavy blanket or jacket on top of me) and/or recite a song that calms me down or a phrase that I find comforting or soothing over and over again quietly to myself. Once I can breathe just a little easier I focus on the steps I have to take to get up and continue on with what I was going. So I lay there and list out step by step what I need to do(ex. 1. Deep breath 2. Feel my feet , legs , arms, 3. Move my hands 4. Sit up 5. Breathe and so on and so forth. Once I’ve listed everything off I slowly start carrying it out in that other after saying it.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2020 12:04pm
I always find that certain breathing techniques are very helpful and can be used anywhere. There are some really great techniques online, and so finding some that you can use whenever you feel like this could really help ease it. If you can and you feel safe to, let someone who's around you know how you feel, and how they can help. Sometimes having someone there to help you through makes all the difference. Just remember, focusing on your breathing and becoming calm first always helps solve any anxieties much better than if you aren't in the right frame of mind!
Anonymous
January 29th, 2020 5:39am
Sometimes crying can be a good thing, it can help to let out our emotions and sometimes we feel more calm after a good crying session. If you find yourself struggling to breath, that is a whole different thing. Try taking deep breaths or drinking a glass of water, and sometimes something like a short walk can help. If it gets to the point where you absolutely cannot breath, call for help to someone in the house or whatever emergency number is used in your country, such as 911. I hope I helped!
Anonymous
February 21st, 2020 9:49am
Crying releases stress and could be why you did. Try to recall what you were thinking about in those moments and acknowledge it in someway. Note that it is stressful and to address it in some way so you feel less stress over the matter. Also remember in these situations breathe throw your stomach not your chest. Too many people take shallow breaths which end up inducing panic sometimes. Breathing through your chest causes the muscles to tighten up, and you start to feel you can't breathe. So remember, belly breaths. Deep full inhales and exhales. It's also good to let out a sigh every now and then, before taking these deep breaths as well.