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What should I do if I end up crying, and I find myself struggling to breathe?

288 Answers
Last Updated: 06/02/2022 at 1:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
Tomitrigg
October 2nd, 2019 7:43pm
Take a deep breath and try to think of something positive. Why do you feel that you will end up crying and find yourself struggling to breathe? It sounds like you have some anxiety. I understand why you are feeling scared but just know that I am here for you if you need anything. This is only a stepping stone and you'll be okay. I can't give you any advice but I can always be here to listen. If you need any other assistance, 7cups hotline can definitely help you out with anything you need. Let's schedule a time every week to discuss more.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2019 5:13pm
It might be tough when that happens but what I usually do is when I recognize that I am struggling I try to bring myself back and think to myself in my head to focus on breathing, such as in-out-in-out-etc. Recently I've found that humming a tune that is memorable in my head helps with focusing. It brings your brain to think away from the reason you are crying and to focus on breathing. Though, of course, what worked for me isn't going to work for you for sure. You can try to take in ideas and explore but most importantly take it slowly and take care of yourself.
AngelSpeaker101
August 16th, 2019 3:00pm
First thing you want to do is try and calm yourself, if its due to medical issues tell someone around or call and ambulance. Though the best solution is trying to be calm, as hard as it might be. Think about the problem causing you to feel this way and wonder what you or someone else could do to make the situation better. The key is calmness, breath in and out very slowly to slow down your heart rate. Don't panic or over think as it can be dangerous. Keep telling yourself it will get better and you will be fine.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2018 1:52pm
You just need to relax and give yourself a moment or so, try not to take deep breathes but look from a window if possible. You don't need to be okay just out of nowhere, what you are dealing with is truly normal. Taking fresh air always helps. If you don't have any window around you, just look up and stay laid. You don't need to stand up right away. Take it easy, do not try to remember why you were crying, that will make everything worse. Just be quiet for a moment and focus on yourself, your well being.
luminousPineapple17
August 15th, 2018 1:55pm
It is important to breathe in and out deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth. This will make breathing easier
Anonymous
August 18th, 2018 6:31pm
if you are having trouble breathing because you are crying, try taking deep, slow breathes. do something that might help you calm down, like hug a stuffed animal or pillow, basically something you can squeeze. breathe into a bag if you have one around. try to distract yourself from whatever is making you cry, watch a funny video or play with a pet, or even hug a friend or family member, or even a pet if the pet doesnt mind you hugging them. not being able to breathe while your crying can be scary but it will pass on its own eventually
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2018 5:25am
Take deep breaths in and out. Count as high as you can as you breathe in and count as high as you can as you breathe out. This is something that they have you do in a yoga class, and it helps in the fact that it takes your mind off what is making you so upset, and making you focus on something that isn't causing you any harm. You can also try taking a hot shower. Taken a hot shower has been proven to help relieve stress and help with depression, also the steam from the heat will help clear your sinuses and make it easier to breathe.
Surruh
August 23rd, 2018 11:26pm
When this happens to me, depending how deep in the panic I am, I try to focus on something, anything. Touching something to focus is especially good because it puts you back in the current moment and grounds you. Try to get the deepest breath you can but don’t stress if you can’t get as deep as you want, we’re working on that. When you breathe out pretend you’re blowing out candles across the room. Exhale for a good 6 second. Now hold it. Repeat. Now that this is temporary and you WILL breathe ok again. Take it one second at a time until you feel you are stable.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2018 4:44pm
Try to do the 4-7-8 exercise. Inhale for 4 seconds, then hold the air in your lungs for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds. Repeat this exercise as many time you want. This helps you to calm down and to breath. It can also help you before a test or a important event, it helps you to feel more secure and confident about yourself. If you feel like it could help close your eyes while doing the 4-7-8 exercise, so you can fully relax and concentrate. After this exercise try to control you breath for a couple of minutes.
AshlynnIShere
September 3rd, 2018 4:49pm
Close your eyes, and slow everything down. Use a counter beat of four, and slowly breathe in and out, at least try. In, one two three four. Out, one two three four. Keep repeating until you can at least breathe a little bit. You can also use this method to calm you down. To keep you from crying and not being able to breathe again, occupy yourself with something. When I’m upset, and I’m done with my breathing exercise, I listen to music on my phone and clean. Or I color and draw. There is many different things to do.
geordieee
September 21st, 2018 1:30pm
Go to a quiet and safe place, have a glass of water. Take deep steady breaths, continue a steady breathing rate and don’t hold back the tears. Let it all out the first time, put some calming music on try and hum along maybe to take your mind off of it. Get some paper and write down words in bold that you are feeling then rip the paper up and get a new piece and write down positive words. Make a cup of chamomile tea. Get someone that you trust and talk it out. Go for a walk outside and don’t forget to breathe
alina11236
September 30th, 2018 12:32am
Struggling like that can be very difficult. I’ve found that taking deep breaths can really help. Try and use your deep breaths to slow your mind, and in turn calm yourself. Try to focus on your breaths. There are tons of breathing exercises you can find to help you really help you relax. I find that guided meditation exercises can really help in situations where I’m crying and I can’t breathe. They can help guide you especially since maybe you are too upset to help yourself. Find things that work for you and relax you. That way when you get to this point next time you are better equipped to help yourself.
Arya23
October 1st, 2018 11:56pm
Whenever that happens to me, I usually think about things that calm me down. I have a chant that I repeat whenever I feel that way. My favorite color, My best friend and my favorite animal. I just think about that and keep repeating that and it helps me calm down. You can think of any 3 things that make you happy and keep repeating it. And focus on your breathing. You can use the 47, 8 method. Close your mouth and inhale through your nose to a mental count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale completely through your mouth, to a count of eight. Repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.
Anonymous
October 11th, 2018 12:59am
First try to ground yourself. Find five things you can see and three you can touch, to start. Then inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds. When you repeat this process, it helps reset your breathing back to a more stable rate. Another important thing to note is if you can help it, not to try to stop the crying, but rather allowing it to run its course and your body to purge the emotions. Remember, after a crying or panic episode to hydrate with lots of water (though don’t down a bunch! You might get a stomachache), and maybe have some orange juice to boost your system. Stay safe everyone!
Anonymous
October 13th, 2018 1:57pm
I would tell you that your tears are like unstopping rain that eventually will bring a rainbow after it, take a deep breath and it’s all okay. The happiness is in you, you’re strong and nobody can tell you otherwise. You were okay and you will be okay. There is one way I use to feel better when hard situations appear, try to imagine myself giving someone else an advice but write it down and read it over and see how good of a friend I am will not only make me feel like a good friend but also better.
captbuggy
October 14th, 2018 6:37am
The most important thing is to understand that there is nothing wrong in crying. It just a way to let out a lot of vented emotions. Crying may help you cope with all the stress that you are feeling at the moment. While crying if you find yourself struggling for breath, the best way to deal with the situation is to slow things down. I follow a 3D method - Deep Breathing - > Drinking Water -> Distraction. Start with slow deep breathing. Breath in for 5 counts , hold the air in for 2 counts , exhale for 7 counts. Do it for 2 - 3 minutes. Next go and gulp 500 mL of water. Gulping the water down is the key. It helps settle down you anxiety. Now the last step is to distract yourself for a while. Do it consciously. Say to yourself, "I know I have a problem, but I will give it a rest for now. I will go for a mindful walk and tackle it after I am back."
Anonymous
October 17th, 2018 12:43pm
well first of all, if you have someone you can talk to, that should be the first thing you should find. If not, try clearing your mind. it sounds difficult but it's a good coping strategy of mine. Clear your mind and just count your breathing. I will count 8 counts when I breathe in, 4 counts when I hold it there and 7 counts when I breathe out. This also works for when you're trying to sleep! It calms me down and gets me situated again to think clearly and overcome my anxiety. I hope this helps :) :)
Anonymous
October 20th, 2018 5:00pm
As someone who is autistic and who experienced abuse as a child, I find it especially comforting to have a stuffed animal on hand to squeeze. I have always imagined my stuffed animals to have personalities and sometimes I have conversations with them in my head that help me to feel safer and become more calm. I like to discretely carry one in my bag and hold the bag tightly if I am in distress. If I'm at home, I like to use my weighted blanket if I can manage to get to it in time because the weight of it makes me feel safer.
aPeacefulafternoon
November 4th, 2018 2:11pm
It is a good things to try to distract yourself from negative thoughts by focusing on neutral objects thoughts or even better replaying fond memories. Furthermore, distracting yourself with task is very effective. For example, counting to a specific number that you choose like 55. Concentrating on simple tasks can help you compose yourself. Another option is to try find objection around you that fit a specific criteria. Round. Yellow... so on. In addition, you can lean/ hug (on) your family members or someone you trust (friends, lover and etc.). However, if this isn't an option try hugging a pillow, make sure it is soft so that you can grab it if you need. This kind of motion can provide leverage. Try to focus on the sensations on you palms and all your body.
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2019 8:54pm
Surely the same things don't work for every person, but right here on 7 cups there are self help, meditation and mindfulness exercises available for free. Some of those things include trying to distract yourself with something else like a task, and practicing being present in the moment. We spend so much time in the past and future, we can only act in the present but spend so little time there. Take a deep breath, and get your dishes washed, but train your mind to notice things with your senses, study the surface of the plate, the temperature of the water, the smell of your dish soap and be present in the moment. Sometimes after some mindfulness exercises you can quiet your anxiety long enough to see the situation that is causing you emotional distress a little clearer.
frostyBear
July 26th, 2019 2:39pm
Take a few deep breathes and have a glass of water. It’s ok to cry and release the emotion at that moment as long as you know how to get back, get a grip and be in control of your mind. You need to understand what can make you feel better and how you can release the built up emotion in better way such as taking a bath, going for a swim or run, cleaning up, talking to someone, writing in a journal. If you need a break or need to talk, prioritise it without delay. Give yourself some ‘alone’ or ‘me’ time.
CareBear012303
July 24th, 2019 5:43pm
These are both signs of a panic attack. I struggle with anxiety myself. When you are struggling to breathe in those moments, hold your finger in front of you and imagine it is a re-lighting candle that you are trying to blow out. Gently try to blow out the flame. This will slow your breathing and heart rate down to help calm you down. Or you can try finding something you can hear, something you can touch, something you can taste, something you can smell, and something you can see. This does two things, 1) Gets your mind off of whatever caused the attack and 2) Forces your mind to focus on 1 thing and nothing else. I hope this helps :)
Kalosia
June 26th, 2019 9:33pm
You should always take a moment for yourself obviously. You should just take a moment to sit down and close your eyes and try to relax yourself. Then when you feel better, even if it’s after an hour, text back to your listener but don’t leave them hanging!! Tell them that you are going to take a minute for yourself and that you’ll be back. You are important to us and we will understand when you say that you’ll take a minute for yourself, whatever helps you is what makes us happy. We are here to help you and understand you.
TChyJ
June 23rd, 2019 4:06am
First of all , you need to get to someone quick. And if you’re not around someone then , try and calm yourself down. Take deep breaths. Don’t get overwhelmed , pray about it. Then if you feel like things aren’t getting any better, you should consider going to the Emergency Room. Don’t ever get yourself like that, because things can go bad. Keep yourself as stress as possible , don’t get upset about anything. If you do get upset, call someone & try & talk to them about it, maybe they will give you advice. Everything will be fine. Have a great day.
fairyava
May 18th, 2019 2:22am
If you find yourself struggling to breathe, ie shorter, more shallow breaths, a good strategy is to try to breathe in for four seconds, hold in your breath for two seconds, and exhale for four seconds. When we find ourselves short of breath, it may be hard to do this technique, as we are not completely relaxed. Try grounding yourself first, by finding 5 things in the room you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This helps bring us back into reality after not feeling very calm for a while.
Xaelia
April 18th, 2019 2:18pm
From experience, it's good to clear your head as much as possible and think about a happy place or memory for you. It always tends to calm nerves a lot. You can also try to think about something that makes you laugh, if you can. And if all else fails, it's okay. Because you can just keep your head clear from negative thoughts whilst focusing on regulating your breathing. Another thing I suggest is closing your eyes whilst doing any of these. This will help you focus better, and will also calm your nerves as well. In my experience.
dxphne
March 28th, 2019 10:32am
First of all, make sure you're not all alone. If something serious happens to you, it's important to have people around who could help you. Struggling to breath isn't something you should just ignore, it's important to consider it as a serious issue, even when it's caused by crying which is a pretty normal situation. Try calming yourself down. An important thing you could try is breathing exercises, they'll help you calm your breathing again. Another thing you could try is going outside, drink some water and get some fresh air. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Don't panic or get worked up over your irregular breathing, it's a common thing that happens when crying and if you panic it will just get worse and worse. If you feel like you can't calm down or keep struggling please tell people around you what you feel, in some cases it could be serious and require the help from emergency services.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2018 4:22am
Begin with a breathing exercise to calm your breath and your mind as much as possible. A common one I see a lot is square breathing, where you breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. You can also find other breathing exercises online to find one that helps you the most. Just continue to do the breathing exercise for a while until you are sure you are 100% calm so you do not start crying and fall back into that state again. Once you are calm, try and splash your face with cold water to reduce redness and also generally refresh yourself.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2018 1:54am
When I feel overwhelmed and find it hard to breath I do a 'List Game'. I list five things I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two thing I can smell and one thing you can taste. I find if I do this I'm forcing myself to live in the moment. It is very grounding. If I'm trying to find and list all these things (out loud) I don't have the chance let my mind run wild. this is a trick I have been using for many years and I can not think of a time were it didn't work.
catharsiscrysis
February 21st, 2019 5:28pm
Deep. Breaths. Stop thinking about anything for one moment, focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths -breathe in for 5 seconds. Hold it for 4. Slowly breathe out for 6. Keep doing this. Take your mind away from what's causing you pain - focus on our breathing. Close your eyes, try to feel your heartbeat, listen to the sound of air entering and exiting your nose, feel the surface you're sitting/standing/lying on. Don't think of anything - no what if's, what about's. Deep breaths. Hug a pillow, a pet, find a trusted loved one. It will be okay.