What should I do if people think I am lying?

149 Answers
Last Updated: 10/17/2019 at 6:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Sara Radford, MA Clinical Counseling

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Within the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship I help clients to explore themselves in a effort to create healing and lasting positive change.

Top Rated Answers
OrageuxJames
August 5th, 2018 10:41pm
The worst thing to do, in my opinion, is to get really defensive. When you get defensive you seem guilty, however, if you simply keep calm and tell them you aren't lying then it should soon be apparent that you're not lying. Remind yourself that you know you're not guilty of lying to remain calm and collected when confronted.
Mahony1989
August 8th, 2018 2:44am
First identify if you are lying. If you know you not guage how the conversation is going and whether or not it is a wise decision to try and prove you are not. If it seems okay, then present your evidence to inidcate you are in fact not lying in a calm manner. Do not get over worked up about it either.
GabrielaaTaker
August 9th, 2018 5:35am
Stay calm, and express how you feel. Say your truth and continue on, IF it is real and the truth move on.
Ikwan777
August 12th, 2018 6:16pm
There isn't much you could do if people think you are lying. Speak your truth and let it stand. Don't get worked up trying to prove your truth.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 3:26pm
Some of us can feel very hurt when others accuse us of being dishonest. That only speaks to our sense of integrity. If we did not value honesty, we would not care if someone accused us of dishonesty. Dishonest and cheating individuals don't care about how others view them. Let them think it. Embrace their ignorance. Their opinion really doesn't affect the truth. If it does affect your personal situation, having evidence of your side will help if you need it in any situation. If you personally feel offended, then perhaps understanding that people are not always going to agree with you or know the truth and that is okay.
BeeancaM
August 22nd, 2018 3:22am
you should try to explain the situation/story better to them or a couple more times, maybe show some evidence to back yourself up. If there isn’t evidence and they do not believe you then they probably aren’t real friends and you should not care what they think. As long as YOU know its the truth everything is fine. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone in your life just be good with yourself that’s what matters the most. Like mentioned before, the people who think you are lying clearly don’t trust your word so maybe you shouldn’t tell them things anymore
Anonymous
September 7th, 2018 1:22pm
Just simply tell the truth. Dont argue with them. Stand by yourself and let them know that what they think doesnt bother you because you know that youre telling the truth. Noone should asdume any of your choices or feelings and emotions. If youre telling the truth and they still do not believe you. Dont let their opinion get to you. You know the trith about yourelf so dont let what they think overrule the trith thay you know. Youre amazing whether anyone says different. Even if you were lying they have no right to assume you are. BElieve in YOUrself.
CyanSam
September 27th, 2018 5:55am
You cannot forcibly change what people will feel but there are ways to handle accusations in a way that protects yourself from having something like this spiral out of control. It's best not to lash out or counter-accuse. (ex."You all suck" and"I'm not lying, it's Jimmy whos lying) Keeping level headed can take you a long way. Maintaining a serious tone and face when addressing those accusations can also help. Being clear and sticking to the truth. If the above fails, it's time to start thinking about removing the accusers from your life. Deleting them off social media. Going no contact. Maintaining strict boundaries and finding people to support you. Being accused of a lie can range from a very simple miscommunication to a highly traumatic experiance in the right circumstance.
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2018 3:09am
You can not make people believe in your truth either they are going to accept you or not. All you can do is to be yourself and nothing else. People are going to believe what they want to and it is not worth your effort to try to convince them otherwise. Just keep your head up and keep on living and trying to enjoy your life because when it is all said and done you are only accountable for your actions and nobody else. Life is to short to be allowing other people to control the way you live your life. Just try to be happy regardless of what others think of you
Solas
October 26th, 2018 2:09am
Knowing that you are teeling the truth is what you know. Others will decied if they believe you or know. You can only be counted for what you do and knowing that you are not lying will sit better with you. If you are finding it difficult to get someone to believe you, maybe you need to look at how you are telling them, the words you are using and your actions. At the end of the day, sometimes we just need to walk away if it is becoming unhealthy, so what you feel fits you best. Keep your head up and stick to your values
eachbendy
October 26th, 2018 12:08pm
If people think I'm lying this is strange and it depends if your or I'm are actually lying. You if you are lying then it's best to be honest and admit it and apologise, if you or I are telling the truth and people don't believe you then that's their problem. Maybe if you want you could get evidence that what you're saying is correct or find someone else to confirm what your saying is correct. To be honest if I'm talking I tend to tell the truth if people decide not to believe me that's up to them
Anonymous
November 25th, 2018 4:00am
Well it is always difficult when someone believes you are lying. Some times you feel like they are just being mean. But to show them, and explain to them your not, maybe try looking at their side. Once you do that to the best of your ability, try to explain your side. Tell them everything your mind will allow them. Explain you understand that they think you are lying, but your not. I may be difficult at first but eventually if you stick to your story they will believe you. If not readdress the situation and start over, and see if what your saying is the best way to say it.
mysteriousSeal17
December 5th, 2018 4:55pm
Ask them why they think you are lying. Also ask yourself as well. Did your body language or wording provide a mixed message? Did you say something that may have seemed outrageous or impossible to another person? How can you politely prove you are telling the truth? If they still do not believe you, walk away from the conversation and come back later once both of you have had a chance to think. Sometimes people need breathing room to process what you have said, especially if you said something they may not have wanted to hear. Just make sure to be kind in these situations.
playfulEyes79
December 6th, 2018 5:03pm
First of all don't get defensive it makes people think that maybe you are lying and you are trying to cover it Always keep a calm voice and tell them the reasons why you are not lying also ask them either "Why would I lie about this?" or if you are an honest person "When have I ever lied to you". This will shut people up and it makes them think about how honest you are and they will think that your telling the truth you can't possibly be lying. Don't forget to always keep a calm voice. It has always worked for me.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2018 3:51pm
If it's sincere, speak from your heart and try you best to reason with the person that you're saying the honest truth 👍 It might be hard in the beginning, but it's better if you try and give it your all, than not trying at all. If you're used to lying all the time to the point in which it comes so easy to you the way a second language would, there's a high probability that it'll come back to you. And the more you lie, the worse things get. Lies can be found out eventually, and if you've already built under yourself a skyscraper's worth of lies, one truth can knock you down. And it'll be a long way down.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2018 12:46am
Apologize immediately for the confusion. Take responsibility for your part in the conversation even though your intentions were never to be disingenuous. Make a commitment to the other person to speak more clearly the next time. Also be mindful if this type of confusion continues with the same person, over and over. Perhaps this ultimately is someone you may not want to spend time with. Sometimes it can be best to walk away from a relationship if the same type of problem happens over and over. You can't please all, people all of the time and unfortunately, in this world, sometimes a persons problem is that...they always feel the need to have a problem.
ApothecaryNicholas
January 18th, 2019 4:57pm
Honestly there is nothing you can do. More than anything else, it's their perception. If they think you are lying and you are not, it could be what is called "projection". It means they are guilty of lying and their brain is attributing it to you. It's called an 'ego defense'. It's very common and is what happens when people wont admit they are wrong, even to themselves. Other than that, you just need to understand what other people think literally is due to their brain and perception, it has nothing to do with you. So if they think you are lying it is what it is, your going to have to accept it and depending on who it is, may readjust your views on your relationship with this person. Be strong. it's literally, neurologically not you. Because science.
Gilbie8
February 9th, 2019 3:02pm
You know your truth and they own their own perceptions of reality. The fact that others think you are lying does not change who you are. Ex: If I believe your eyes are blue won't in any way change the fact that they are brown. Right? You speak your own truth and maintain your point of view. Perhaps you can point out to the fact that it is possible that others have other versions of what is true to you. Perhaps you can also explore you own reaction when people think you are lying. How are you affected by their perception? How you would like to be able to react?
omorfokoritsi
February 10th, 2019 10:52pm
You don't have to prove yourself at anyone, if you say the truth you don't have anything to hide also you don't need to justify yourself to others. You only have to try to justify yourself if you lied to them at the past so they have concerns on your credibility. In that case maybe an extra effort is required. If this is not the case and you always say the truth ask yourself why it is important to you what other people think and why they are not believing , what are their motives behind that action. Because they maybe have benefits in claiming they don't believe you. And question their motives to know with what kind of people you are dealing with and don't care about what they thinking in general.
ThymeTraveller
June 6th, 2019 9:34am
Nothing. It’s a lesson that took me a long time to learn, but in all honesty, you can’t control what people choose to assume and you don’t owe them proof with every word. What you can do, if it worries you, is make sure that the things you do say—and especially promises you make—are indeed true. Those people who know you will pick up on that sooner or later. If you’re close to these people, like family or friends, hopefully there’s also space for an open conversation. It’s not going to be easy, but it may help to sit down with them and explain that this bothers you, and hear their side of what makes them think that in the first place.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2019 1:09pm
I would ask myself, why do they think I am lying? Have I done something in the past to make people distrust me? If the answer is yes, apologize, tell them that you understand it will take time to build back the trust you lost but that you are trying to change, and continue to be truthful. If the answer is no, ask yourself, what has happened to them to be distrustful, maybe someone has lied to them in the past and it has left them hurt, understand that people might've had bad experiences in the past and be patient with them trusting you. However, if someone won't believe you despite all your efforts and patience, think, do I want people in my life that don't trust me? Maybe it is time to distance yourself from people that accuse you from not telling the truth despite your efforts to continuously convince them otherwise. Being distrusted is never nice, but it is most important that you are truthful to yourself and that you know the truth.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2019 6:43am
Hello! Dealing with others accusations is a huge struggle. If you're anything like me this event usually stirs up quite a bit of anxiety. It is hard to go in to social situations with confidence and the ability to be sure of ourselves. People accuse us of lying for many reasons. We as people are the only ones who know if we are lying or not. Despite what other people say sometimes taking pride in ourselves helps us deflect the assumption of others. For example I was accused of lying and the other kids at school wouldn't believe my words of me not lying. I know that I didn't lie, so why worry what the others think. I hope that helped! :)
BetterToday92
June 27th, 2019 10:29pm
I would ask their reasons, and listen to their reasons. If the reasons sound fair, I would address them. If they do not sound fair, and you think the person is bullying you, I would contact a school authority (if you're at school), move away from them, or report them them to an authority in the community. How to address fair concerns about lying: If a person has misunderstood you or was expecting more of the truth than you gave, they have fair reasons for thinking you were lying. If they did not understand your statement/behavior (e.g. they think you lied about being home at nine but you actually thought you had said ten), then establishing that there is a misunderstanding should solve the problem. If the person thinks you are lying because you only told part of the truth (e.g. you said you received a good report at work but only half of it was good), then you need to establish with the person what amount of truth they can give and what you are willing to give. Please note that, in general, people expect a summary of all parts of something but they don't expect all the details of all the parts. Thanks for asking!
katherine081902
August 16th, 2019 8:01am
I don't know the specific situation but I think if people think you are lying, self evaluate and ask yourself if you have given them any reason to think you are lying. Examine the situation and see if it is really worth arguing about or anything. If they are your friends, they should trust you unless you have given them a reason not to. If the case is that you have lied in the past and they don't trust your word, then show them through your actions you have changed or are trying to change if that's the case. If not, then there must be something else going on. Some people just don't trust others easily but that doesn't necessarily mean they would think you are lying. Ask them straight up why they think you are lying and if there is actual reasoning or if they just need time to trust you. I am the type of person who just needs time to trust someone and I can tell you from experience, the best thing to do in that case would be to give them time and show them you are trustworthy. I hope this helps. :)
MissLisa
August 22nd, 2019 2:32pm
Ask yourself if it really matters what other peoples opinion is. Often we become so consumed about what other people think about us that we neglect ourselves. As long as you know the truth then no one else should matter. However if you are concerned you could always speak to that person and ask why they believe you are lying. You could also explain your side and ask what you could do to prove you are being honest. Be mindful that if in the past you have been dishonest, this could make people wary of trusting you to tell the truth in the future.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2019 1:21am
You should step back and really see who you are. You are the one person who really knows who you are, and that will never change. It doesn't matter what others think. You should be true to yourself, and no one else. If someone thinks your lying, it shouldn't matter. Because they don't matter. But you do, and you always will. So just find peace with yourself, and somehow it will all be okay. You are the keeper of your truths. You have the key, and you can lock and unlock it whenever you please. You are you, and you are true.
Chlorophyll123
September 27th, 2019 7:00pm
Nothing. You know you are telling the truth. Its upto people to choose what they want to believe. Stick to telling your truth. If you think it is important that the other person believes you because they are important to you, make your argument strong with supporting and validating points. Don't embellish the truth. Don't make it a version of what the orginal truth is. Be yourself and stay authentic. Accept the consequences of your actions, and accept that you are not entitled to others believing your story.
Anonymous
October 4th, 2019 8:02pm
Step One Don't try to prove it to them beyond giving relevant details, it isn't worth going in circles on the internet Step Two Be genuine in how you explain that it's unfortunate that they don't believe you, but you do your best to be honest Step three Ask if they are willing to be referred to another listener or take you at your word. Step Four Either find them another listener, or continue the conversation by letting them know that if they continue to be accusatory you will end the conversation. (boundaries) Step Five Stick to your word. But, If you do have to end the conversation, offer to refer them a second time.
Alissa01
October 17th, 2019 6:50pm
What's important is that you know for your self that you are being honest. If you're being honest you don't have anything to worry about therefore you should be calm. You did your part which was telling the truth, it is up to the other person now to believe you or not. You should not have to force someone to believe you. Trust should be mutual. Sometimes it is not, then we as humans need to learn to accept the decision of others and move on. We have to learn to accept the things we can not change and either work with it or leave it alone.