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What should I do if people think I am lying?

199 Answers
Last Updated: 10/29/2021 at 3:26pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
UnknownAngel
November 14th, 2020 3:40am
One thing that you can do is to try to explain the truth to that person or the people who think that you are lying about something. You can try to explain the truth to them as a group or individually. See if that will help and see if they will listen that way. or you can try showing them or that person that you are not lying with so type or kind of evidence if you have some or any. Maybe that will help them understand the situation better. You can keep trying these ways to help with things.
listenerfriend08
November 14th, 2020 7:44pm
I will measure them about my thoughts and help them understand what is going on with my life. I know myself and I dont have to prove anything to others. I know that regardless of what other people say I am good and I can do it. Just take a deep breath make sure you know yourself and move on with your life . where is no point of fixating on things that you cant change and there no point on fixating on things that aren't beneficial or positive. always keep your head up and make sure you know yourself. dont put yourself down because someone thinks less of you
dtanushree
December 13th, 2020 6:44am
People are thinking that you are lying means that what they assume as to be the truth is different from the truth you've told them. If these people are close to you then you can try to sort out the issue by communicating to them. May be asking open ended questions like What makes them think that you're lying? How is your truth different from theirs? What was the reason of them thinking that you are lying? If these people are someone not so close and generally some random people with their point of views then unfortunately we can't change everyone's assumptions. They might be beleiving something else as the truth. But simply someone's opinion can't change the truth so, if you believe that you haven't lied then i am so proud of you. Thank you so much for speaking the truth. :)
Anonymous
December 16th, 2020 6:53pm
This is an interesting question. What you do when people think you are lying depends on what outcome you are trying to achieve. Is it important to you that they realize you are not lying? If so, it may help to provide evidence to substantiate that you are, in fact, telling the truth. However, this can prove a futile and exhausting path if they are not convinced or simply want to believe what they want to believe. It can also be a slippery slope, and you want to make sure you are not getting roped into substantiating every single statement you make (because if you had to do that, it would be very difficult for you to accomplish anything you wanted to get done). Another option, if you want them to recognize you're not lying, is to question them and help them to see the weak points in their reasoning. This can be done by following logic, for example: "I told you I was going to the store, you watched me leave. Then I came back with goods from the store. What makes you believe I did not go to the store?" This will also help you track their reasoning so that you can see what is leading them to believe you are lying. Yet another option, if you do not care one way or another whether they thing you are lying is to simply not act or respond, and allow them to think whatever they think. This is the least effort intensive option, but it may not be the one which accomplishes your goals. All in all, to know what you should do, it would help to identify what your goals are, so you can determine the best course of action.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2020 8:19pm
Try to be as non-judgemental as possible. There may be reasons why they feel you are lying. Maybe it might be good to explain yourself further however it depends on the context of the scenario. It is necessary to consider not only your own opinions but also the opinions of the other person. If there is a genuine concern ie. you think you need to report an issue, it is important to stand your ground but also be aware that you may need to explain yourself more clearly. Communication and clarification is key in this particular circumstance. As previously mentioned it depends on the context.
GoldieHeart4
December 29th, 2020 7:37pm
Clarify and ask why they feel that way. There must be a reason why they would feel that I am being untruthful- so it would be best to dispel that unrest. Why do you believe that I am lying? How can I improve the tone of my words, for better clarity in my speech? When someone lies to you, how do you typically know? I would ask a few questions to better understand their viewpoint- there are a multitude of reasons why someone might think that I’m being untruthful, and I shouldn’t immediately take offense. Insecurity, self esteem, or past experience can contribute to the feelings of mistrust towards another person, and I can only hope to gain their trust in small steps.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2021 8:15pm
Being taken for as a lier when you're telling the truth can be quite a frustrating thing. It's important to show just how truthful you're trying to be. Such as: stating that you wouldn't lie during certain scenarios, take into consideration why lying would initially be used during certain scenarios, and giving grounds on why you would be telling the truth. Being open and honest is very important, especially during communication. Your word may become muddied in translation, but try to be as open as possible so your words do not get taken into another light. You ultimately know what you mean, make sure others know that too.
Anonymous
March 5th, 2021 8:32pm
Explain and think from their shoes.
strawberryfriend11
March 31st, 2021 5:23pm
I think if this were to happen one should first hear the person out and then reassure them that you’re not lying. Meaning, I would say something like “I understand why you feel that way (insert why they think you’re lying) but I assure you I mean everything I said. I’m here for you and want to help in any way I can”. I feel this is the best way to show someone you understand them and that you do care, which means you’re not lying. Making sure they know you understand is especially important because that’s what really shows that you’re not faking it.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2021 3:28pm
It is difficult when people think you are not telling the truth, but sometimes it does not help to get caught up in their opinion. Trying to justify yourself can make things worse, as it puts you in a defensive position. If you have not lied, sometimes just saying so with no further explanation is all that is needed. If it is just a misunderstanding, offering a reasonable explanation may set things straight, but if that person has already labelled you a liar, you may be wasting energy trying to prove yourself. You should not have to convince people of the truth.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 5:33pm
you can't do anything. There is nothing wrong with you if yourself feel you are right and others are just taking the chance to say you are a liar. It hurts but I am just saying why waste your time and energy on people which they think you are lying. They seriously don't have time for others other than gossiping or spreading rumours about you. You might want to stay away from them? …or it depends on which people thinks you are lying maybe because in past you lied and they can't trust you or ..? it seriously depends on the situation you are in. Many perspectives should be taken …not just one story but both story ..hope you got my answer!
AFellowPilgrim
May 27th, 2021 3:52pm
You have to be really honest with yourself first. Were you telling the complete and full truth, or were you slanting the truth to look yourself or your ideas look better. Were you leaving out part of the truth? Do you have a reputation for distorting the truth or have you always told the truth to everyone in every situation. People will find out if you tell the truth or if you are a liar. If you have told people lies before then it will be hard for people to believe you. It does no good to tell people, "I'm telling the truth this time." Your reputation of being a truth teller or a liar will follow you. Also, if you have a habit of conveniently "altering" the truth you may not recognized when you are telling lies becaues that is part of your character and a part of your habit pattern. If you have told lies in the past you need to go back and correct them. What you can say is something like, "That which I told you about xx is not accurate. What I meant to say was yyy". If you want people to believe what you say, then you have to be very diligent to only speak the accurate truth and to correct anything that you say that wasn't accurate.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2021 11:19pm
It is not your responsibility to correct other peoples assumptions. I do understand that it is not as simple as telling people they are assuming things at times, when someone close to us thinks we are lying or when someone gaslights us, says we are lying when we are not only to invalidate our stance or attack our character, it's a very hurtful experience. I cannot decide what you should do, as I do not know your situation better than you, I can only say that if they are hurtful, you do not have to engage with them, if they are someone very close, you can sit down with them and have a calm talk about it. Understand why they think so, empathize with them, then express your feelings on the matter and together resolve the issue and move past it.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2021 9:19pm
I think for myself I've dealt with this most when I was not very much focused on communication. For instance, in the past one family member could ask me a question and I would answer but was not thought to be telling the truth. For some time, I questioned how such a thing could occur. Soon, I realized that I wasn't focused on changing my facial expression as most people would and I had my own visual cues. Since I wasn't spending a lot of time with this family member, I believe they must have perceived things to be different because I wasn't aware of the expected communication. (Example: someone's annoyed gesture could be smiling.) When I generally learned more common communication, I found more people would listen. While I'm not someone who jumps at the idea of changing for just any reason, I did find it helpful for short interactions where a stranger may not be well acquainted.
beck1
July 31st, 2021 7:54pm
First, I would do a little self-analyzing to see if that is true. Have you lied about anything? If the answer is no then you move onto the next step Second, I would then go to the person and ask them why they believe I'm lying. If they are able to talk to you in a somewhat calm manner about things you're noticing, you could clarify with them what you are actually thinking and they're you're not lying However, there are sometimes people who just want to hurt others. Telling someone they are lying could be one way they could do this. So please keep that in mind
jollyvibe
August 6th, 2021 5:40pm
I would kindly address the person that thinks I am lying. We often fear confrontation, but I assure you it is much better than having anxiety thinking people think you are a liar. If you kindly address things you can clear the rumors/tension up and all will get resolved! If the person still does not believe you, then they are not the type of person you should be around. You have no reason to feel stressed. You are not obligated to keep any bad relationships with anyone. Your health and mental health always come first. Be happy! :)
thatlittlehope
September 5th, 2021 5:52pm
You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. For as long as you know to yourself that you are being truthful to yourself and to everyone else around you, you don't have to explain to them anything. People will assume whatever they want to assume. At the end of the day, they will judge you no matter what you do, sadly I know. But you're doing great. Prevent yourself from stressing over something that is out of your control, and that includes other people's judgment of you. The only validation you need is from yourself and from the people who truly know who you are.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2021 10:56pm
It depends on who the people are. If they are people you care about, you need to know why they think you are lying. If it has been because of something you did or said that raised their concerns then you have to be more careful how you talk and act to rectify the problem and regain their trust. If you don't care much about the people then don't worry too much about what they think, because there will always be people thinking bad no matter what you do. They key is to always be honest and truthful with everyone, and do not worry afterwards.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2021 7:04am
I have gone through this. It can be frustrating when people do not believe you. Always be as open and honest as you can. If it is happening during arguments, show empathy rather than getting defensive. Try to understand why they might think you are lying. Be patient and always stick to the truth. Ultimately, you cannot force them to believe you. You do, however, have control over your own actions. It can be easy to get discouraged or feel offended, but try to stay positive. No matter what, take solace in knowing you were honest. Honesty is a good quality to have, regardless of how many people believe you.