What's the best way to get over rejection from schools?
Last Updated: 08/11/2020 at 5:35pm
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
Make sure you allow yourself to feel the emotions you feel - it's okay to be upset. But, if it's not going away or it's just plain hard to deal with, you might: journal or talk about it. If it's really hard emotionally, you might use temporary distractions and self-soothing actions to care for yourself. But, it's also important to be realistic. It is hard to not go where you want. What are your options? What are the consequences of not going, and what things remain unchanged? What can difficulties you work around? Try to be as realistic as you can and sort out what thoughts are accurate and what are emotion-based. It might help to do this with a friend or a Listener if it turns out to be a real challenge to sort out.
First step, take a deep breath. It's easy to get caught up in what the rejection means. Keep your mind calm and remember that a letter saying that you didn't get in does NOT mean that you weren't good enough. Nowhere in the letter does it say that you're not good enough. Step two, remember all of the amazing qualities that you do have. Maybe you're an exceptionally hard worker, maybe you pick up new things quickly, etc. Bolster your confidence by remembering that there are so many things that you are good at and that this simple letter means nothing. Rejection is difficult but it is the first step to something absolutely incredible. Keep that in your mind and move forward, this rejection will mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of your life.
After you've been rejected from a school, what can you do about it? I see three options: 1) Accept that you were not the right fit for that particular school at this moment, according to the wisdom of its admissions department, and that this frees you up to accept a school that *is* better fit for you, 2) appeal the decision if you feel strongly that it is wrong and you are the right student for that school (and I know people who have succeeded by making a compelling case with new information in appeals!), or 3) if you truly want that school to be the school for you, but realize you are not a great fit for it at the moment, you can consult with people in the know about what you can do to become a student they would be more likely to choose, then work to become that student they want and reapply to that school and schools like it — if you really want to be that student. Regardless of what you choose, please know that anyone's acceptances or rejections are not demonstrative of their personal worth, intelligence or potential. It really is about your subjective 'fit' with a particular environment and its goals. You can keep moving, appeal, or grow to match the school's needs and try again.
Cry, scream. Let out your emotions, it's okay to be upset. Take a deep breathe. It's important to remember that just because you didn't get into one school, doesn't mean you won't get into another. There is a school out there for everyone. The school that you didn't get into just wasn't the best school for you.
Keep trying. You can work your way up. Just because you are accepted at a lower preferenced school, does not mean you are doomed to stay there. Join the lower preferenced school, work hard on your grades then apply to change institutions.
Being rejected from schools you apply to can be disappointing. A good approach to dealing with this type of rejection is to realize that applying to schools is a numbers game. The more schools you apply to the greater the likelihood you will be accepted into some of them. Whatever you do, don't take this kind of rejection personally because it's not a reflection of you.
Rejection stings like a whip, and it's easy to take it personally. But the school only sees a tiny fraction of who you are in your essays. Applications are a game of probabilities and statistics and while it stinks to be on the receiving end of a system that by its very nature can't please everyone, just remember how many qualified candidates the school can't take for purely mathematical reasons. We can easily fall in love with our top choice schools--they're our top choice for a reason--but just as that school has only seen a fraction of you, you've only seen a small fraction of them; when you're actually attending a school, things are very different, and you'll find that your first impressions were just that--first impressions. There's so much more to every school, and a big part of that is your graduating class. No matter which of your chosen schools you end up at, you'll get an education, and you'll find people who think like you and share your interests. You'll have a chance to have a great time no matter where you end up. While that might seem hard to believe right now, I swear it's the truth. You chose your backup schools for a reason; your rebound might actually turn out to be a better fit for you than your first love.
The best way to get over rejecction from schools is to understand that this doesn't mean you are stupid. Just because a school doesn't accept you doesn't mean you are not intelligent, just that you did not meet their criteria for some reason. Know your worth and move on, you can be sure that you'll be accepted in another school soon enough, which will probably suit you better.
The best way to get over rejection from schools or universities is to remind yourself that the application process is a though one, that may always try to be fair but is not always, and also to always remember that you are worth a lot more than academic success of any kind. You are a human being whose brilliance is not measured by the number of schools that accepted you.
That it wasn't meant to be for a reason. That reason could've been anything that we will never know of. But there is a couple of options to deal with it. One you could drown yourself in sorrow, understand that you can re-apply again, or accept it and go to your alternative school. If you know what exact career you want then where you go to school doesn't really matter. It's ALL UP to you to defeat the system. A little advantage never hurts but a disadvantage is always a good opportunity.
First, try to remember that this is not a personal rejection, these schools don't know you as a person and are not rejecting you as an individual. Try telling yourself that not only does this mean that school was not going to be a good fit, but that you are being guided to the right fit. Make a list of all your best qualities and read it each time you get one of 'those' letters. Applying to schools is stressful, but again, try to remember this is not personal and that you will indeed find the right school!
try and remember that a rejection isnt the end of the world. there are many schools out there and one will be very lucky to have you as a student. you can always reapply when you feel the time is right. dont let them bring you down. Stay strong and shine bright!
Many things are out of our control; its important to acknowledge the potential for all kinds of opportunities and possibilities; dont dwell too much on the negative, be optimistic and assertive in light of pursuing what you desire, try, try again. If not, move forward, be the best you, you can be.
By knowing there are tons of other schools that will give just as rich an education and at a better speed you can handle and that you are always doing your best o matter what.
Rejection is a tough thing to go through, you might loose your self esteem in the process. Just always make sure to realize that no one has the right to make you feel unworthy in life. Its your life and always be in control of it.
For me, honestly it would be to continue studying as much as I can and try to improve on what I'd done previously. I'd want to try to do more things that would make me more elligable to get in the schools. You could think of it more of as an "I'm not ready" thing instead of an "I've failed" sort of thing.
Just keep trying and i am sure you will find that one school who will acpect you. You just gotta keep trying and trying untill you get accpected and trust me it will pay off big time..
Realize that while rejection stings, if it was meant to be you would be going to that school. Remember that there are several schools and not all the doors stay closed, and that you could ask for ways to improve so you can get into a school.
Staying positive. Acceptance. And your strong determination towards your goal. Don't let schools dictate your overall capacity towards education. Be bold to strive better whether you got accepted to a great school or just an average school (no such thing as a bad school).
Rejection from schools feels very personal, and you can feel upset about it. That's normal and understandable. It might be hard to accept, but you don't want schools that don't want you. Sure, they may have great academics or beautiful campuses, but at the end of the day, you need to go to a school that wants you for who you are. Know that you will get into the program that is right for you and that even if you aren't excited about where you are going, it will get better once you get on campus.
Being rejected by schools can be really disheartening and frustrating. Like anything, it gets better with time. If you remember that you will end up where you are meant to be, you will have something to look forward to! One thing that I do is think, in 1 week from now, how will I feel about this? In 1 month? In 1 year? Opportunity is around every corner!
School can be tricky places, and we all know it is hard. Almost everyone has had suffered rejection there, due to different reasons. Wether you have tried to start a new friendship with someone or has suffered distance from another one, we need to realise that we can't please everyone: so many different type of people with such differents personalities! Of course, it hurts, but remember there are more people there who will like you for who you are :)
This might sounds as a cliché, but where a door is closed, a new one is opened. This means, that by not getting accepted by one school, you gain the opportunity to be accepted to another one. This is called reframing. With a thought process like this, you did not change the fact, but you change the way you perceive it with your own subjectivity. Although personally it was not about not getting accepted to a school, but rather fail during it and drop out. After feeling down for a while, I got accepted to a new one with the same major (medical school), and now I am in final year.. So basically, a new door was opened for me.. :) Just notice the door!
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