Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 7:19pm
It's most probably because you really like her, it's the 'butterfly' phase, you enjoy her company, she's very special to you which is why you get nervous, it's a good thing! C:
Celeste101
July 24th, 2015 2:01am
If you are nervous around your girlfriend because you love her and she makes you feel special, that is so beautiful and you have nothing to be worried about! However if you are nervous around your girlfriend because she hits or controls you, that is a different story. Love should never hurt.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2015 11:30am
It can be as simple as a lack of confidence in your ability to please the girlfriend by way of chat etc.instead of trying to say something witty or smart ask her about something that is about her...If she is a student ..ask about what draws her to her subject.If she works ask her about her work.Talk about her will give you food for thought as to how to please her conversation wise...Nearly everybody gets nervous with new g/f's...it is very normal and can be overcome with just a little application....If you can identify just one thing she likes you can develop a conversation from there...it takes a little effort..and it is worth it.
thedancerwithin
July 24th, 2015 4:58pm
There can be many reasons, but being nervous around your girlfriend isn't necessarily a bad thing. You could just be a really caring person who just really wants to be the best for her and you're just afraid that you won't be good enough. It can actually be an endearing thing. On the other hand, if you feel something's not right then you need to assess the relationship between you and your girlfriend. It could be that she's really domineering etc...
Anonymous
July 25th, 2015 2:35am
when you really care about someone your relationship becomes so much more important and that means there's more pressure which makes you nervous
Anonymous
July 25th, 2015 8:03am
Being nervous around someone you like is so common. You're nervousness may be caused out of a feeling that you need to do everything right around her. Try to relax and get more comfortable. Being completely comfortable with a person takes time.
lovelylistener155
July 25th, 2015 3:49pm
Perhaps it's because you want to impress her and you're anxious that she won't be pleased with how you are, it's normal don't worry :)
StephSnake1582
July 25th, 2015 8:12pm
Its a normal part of a relationship! I still get nervous around my boyfriend and its. Been two years. It's common especially in the beginning relationships. Its usually because we think we'll embarrass ourselves in front of them but have confidence! You arent alone and. It'll calm down once you get more comfortable around her
Pandiee
July 26th, 2015 4:33am
She may make you nervous because your relationship is new. You may be scared to try new things with her. Most likely, she is nervous too. You can always talk to her about this. The more open you are together, the more likely you are to clear the air and the nervousness will eventually disappear.
glitterlover92
July 26th, 2015 4:58am
Well sometimes when we experience new feelings in New relationships,we often don't want to do anything to compromise how good it's going
mzxw
July 26th, 2015 4:06pm
Because you are scared that you're going to do something wrong that might ruin your entire relationship.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2015 11:59pm
Nervousness can be a result of many things. Maybe you like her and you don't want to lose her. Maybe you don't know how to be you around her and that scares you. Only you truly know the answer and whatever it is, you will find a solution.
UnderTheSea7
July 29th, 2015 4:57am
It's difficult to trust and comfort in a new relationship. Sometimes the cause is social anxiety but as you get to know each other better you will get comfortable.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2015 4:29pm
Depends on the situation or what kind of relationship you have with your girlfriend. One case is that you like her very much, so you're nervous about making a fool of yourself or doing something she won't like that would make her want to not be your girlfriend anymore. Another reason is that the relationship could be abusive or that she has a hot temper. Really just depends on your situation.
courageousFire16
July 29th, 2015 9:25pm
Hey there! Being nervous is completely natural, so try not to psych yourself out too much! Nervousness can stem from anything at all. If it's toward your girlfriend, it simply could be possible that you like her, and you don't want to make any sort of mistake. And that's okay! No matter how you're feeling the best you can do is be yourself :)
LockyAnKey
July 30th, 2015 10:35am
Perhaps you don't feel comfortable with her yet, if it is the early stages it must be because you aren't comfortable around her or it could be your strong feelings for her.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2015 8:30am
I get nervous around a bf/gf due to the fact that I am constantly trying to impress them physically, most males admire a girl by looks and feelings, but sad to say mostly looks from what I have noticed. I try to impress him/her and be the best I can be. :)
Anonymous
July 31st, 2015 3:40pm
Because you love her you dont want to mess anything around her or say something wrong that could make you lose her
Anonymous
July 31st, 2015 9:19pm
Are you afraid of what'll happen if you say something "wrong", or do something "stupid"? Have you ever messed up in front of your girlfriend before? The more it happens, trust me, the easier it becomes to loosen up. Once you learn your girlfriend truly loves and cares for you, then you'll be less afraid of what happens in front of her. If this doesn't seem like the reason for being nervous, try to pinpoint what it is, and maybe even talk to her about it. I know it's hard, but it'll be worth it.
ListeningOak
August 1st, 2015 6:03pm
When in a relationship, I find open and honest communication, both with yourself and with your partner the best way to get to the root of a problem,
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 10:45pm
Perhaps you feel like you still have to impress her in some way, and so that every move you make is under scrutiny. Depending on whether or not this is a new relationship; that can be a blessing and a curse. Hopefully a level of comfort is reached at some point.
kindBubbles59
August 2nd, 2015 1:14am
How often are you all together take time to get yo know each other take walks an dc talks listen to her let her listen to you to f you can not be comfortable with one another the relationship needs help
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 4:05pm
It could be you are afraid of making a mistake or not being completely comfortable could be just a time issue
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 10:58pm
you may be feeling nervous around your girlfriend as you do not want to disappoint her as you are in love with her
Dillion
August 5th, 2015 4:47am
A lot of people get nervous around the one they admire and spend a lot of time with. Some people experience a little anxiety at times as well when becoming nervous.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 11:52am
u want to be perfect for her. so of course u think u arnt good enough for her. talk to her, she will understand it
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 7:29pm
I think that might just be you being hopelessly in love with her. It also depends on the type of nervousness. Are you scared of her or are you anxious?
katherinegracee
August 5th, 2015 9:07pm
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling nervous around your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the experiences you and her have gone through. What kind of nervousness are you feeling? Is it negative, or positive? Does it make you feel like you want to stay around her or run away? It can help to think of these things. Another thing that might be useful to take note of is that one scientific study shows people can confuse fear with attraction and attraction with fear. This biopsychological phenomenon is very powerful. It may not be what's going on with you, but the whole point is that anything can be a possible answer to why you are feeling nervous. Only you can answer this for yourself. After all, you know you more than I do! :) What do you think? How do you think you could approach this situation so that you can self-evaluate and try to make sense of what's getting you nervous? I hope this helps in some way. You deserve the best; everyone deserves the best.
Bri
August 6th, 2015 12:23am
This is a question that I think takes a lot more background information to truly get to the bottom of. There can be numerous reasons why you are nervous around your girlfriend from relationship abuse, past experiences that make you nervous, situational issues that are coming up in your current relationship, etc. I suggest talking to a listener to really get to the real reason and help you get through this problem.
JustineElizabeth
August 6th, 2015 1:55pm
Its possible that you are experiencing new feelings, and although they may be positive, the newness may be causing you to experience butterflies or feel nervous.