Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
August 6th, 2015 4:44pm
Everyone has their own reason as to why they would be nervous around their girlfriend/partner. Usually it's because you like/love someone a lot. You maybe afraid of doing the wrong thing or embarrassing yourself in front of them. I have been with this guy off and on for almost 5 years and I still to this day get nervous around him sometimes. I get butterflies in my stomach, sweaty palms and feet and I sometimes feel lifeless. It's normal so don't be ashamed of it. It happens to the best of us.
August 6th, 2015 9:21pm
Maybe you feel like you aren't good enough for her but you are! You are good for her and if you are nervous around her it may be because you don't want to lose her. If you do feel like this, you should try to talk to her about it because it will help.
August 7th, 2015 10:19am
Often when you care about someone and haven't been dating for a long time, there's quite a long period of time where you feel a pressure to be "perfect", perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect hygiene, perfect conversation, avoiding "embarrassing" things like belching, etc. It's all a very stressful thing to try to live up to and can cause nervousness/anxiety, as it's not possible, as perfection isn't possible. Also, often one goes through a period of time of wondering if they're good enough for the person, if they can provide what they need, or if they've been hurt by others before, wonder if this person "might leave them too". That certainly never means to not care about any of those things, as all of them are important and are part of who we are as people (worrying about getting hurt, wanting to impress people), but to be willing to occasionally let a mistake slide in there and understand that everyone is human and often times with new partners you can bond and laugh over mistakes and how you were both trying your best to impress each other and how it doesn't always work out :)
August 7th, 2015 8:13pm
It is a common feeling to feel that way. Don't be ashamed, you'll be okay. No need to be ashamed...
August 7th, 2015 10:09pm
There could be various reasons why you're feeling nervous. Perhaps you're scared that you'll say or do something embarrassing, or you might have a fear that you're somehow not good enough for her, or maybe the relationship is moving too fast for you. Relationships can be nerve-wracking at times, but if your nervousness around her is constant, then it might be a good idea to talk about this with her, even if you're unsure as to why you might be feeling this way. Perhaps she can help you with your nervousness if you let her know about it.
August 8th, 2015 10:04am
It is probably your personality trait that is affecting your relationship with your girlfriend. Being nervous is natural and there is nothing wrong, some girls find it cute however you should understand that a relationship is about two individuals who care, understand and support each other and being free and open with her will only help you out. I'm sure as time passes and you become more comfortable with her, your nervousness will diminish.
August 8th, 2015 3:12pm
You may be worrying about messing something up or how she feels about you, I would have to know more about the situation.
August 8th, 2015 7:14pm
Being nervous around your significant other or just the opposite or same sex is completely normal. You may be nervous around her because you feel like you need to be the best you can be for her. That's not entirely true, you don't need to try and be perfect. Of course, mind your manners, be nice and be yourself. That's all a girl really wants.
August 9th, 2015 12:18am
Sometimes we feel we must put on a show. Possibly, you feel she wont be interested with your true self. Which should not be the case, be yourself ! If she/he doesn't like what they TRULY see... he/she is not meant for you! Move on and find someone who likes the TRUE you 😊
August 9th, 2015 1:13am
Probably because you want to make a good impression on her, since it's important to you that she likes you. That's completely normal at the start of a relationship. However, if you've been dating for some time and you still feel this way, something's probably off. In that case it's probably worth discussing with her.
August 9th, 2015 9:46pm
You may be nervous around her because you like her so much and don't want to mess up. (Which you really can't). :)
August 12th, 2015 4:08am
you can feel like you might want to impress her. so you might get anxious. it's totally normal.
August 12th, 2015 11:51am
We are always worried that the people we love may leave us. So you are nervous that you make a mistake and that she will left you because of that.
August 12th, 2015 4:44pm
The are many reasons why you may feel nervous around your girlfriend. The most common reason is that you have a lot of feelings for her and you are scared you may do something that will ruin your chances with her.
August 12th, 2015 6:35pm
It could be that you really like her and do not want to lose her. You might feel like you are not good enough.
August 13th, 2015 10:07am
Why do YOU think this could be? There could be a number of reasons, not knowing you both personally it is hard to say. What is your initial gut feeling?
August 13th, 2015 2:38pm
Being nervous around the opposite sex normally means you have a attraction to them! Don't be nervous
August 13th, 2015 6:00pm
There are a lot of answers to this, and they all depend on the specifics in your relationship! Your nervousness might be caused by a feeling of "butterflies" or shyness in your romantic relationship, which is common. It may also be caused by various anxieties. If you're anxious around your girlfriend, you should try to have clear and open communication with her so that you can both understand where the anxieties are coming from and learn to combat them.
August 14th, 2015 4:51am
There may be many reasons for this! Maybe you are afraid of intimacy; sexual, emotional, or otherwise. Maybe you are afraid of being rejected, and not being loved for who you are. The sooner you learn to be 100% your self, the sooner you will be able to discover the value or lack thereof in the relationship. Never try and change yourself for another person. There is a pot for every lid, and you WILL find that person. Never settle!
August 14th, 2015 2:33pm
Maybe you are afraid of doing something she might not like, afraid of losing her. Don't be; you are unique and special. :)
August 14th, 2015 9:33pm
It could very well be that you are experiencing some doubt that you may not please her. This is completely normal. However if this isn't what you believe to be happening, then it could be (depending on how long you have been in the relationship of course) that you are just not yet used to being with her.
August 15th, 2015 1:20am
You might have some issues being your humble self around her in order to impress her. But remember that she loves you just the way you are.
August 15th, 2015 8:36am
It's not an abstract feeling to feel around someone that means the most to you. If it bothers you that much, maybe you can consult with her that you're feeling this way and talk it out, no matter how embarrassing it may be, it's always good to get it off the chest and have good communication.
August 16th, 2015 3:33am
you probably really like her and it is a new relationship. I was the same When i got into a new relationship. It could also be the fact that you are nervous for a reason. Maybe you are scared of something?
August 16th, 2015 10:46am
Nervousness is sometimes okay when it's not fear.When you are in love being nervous is okay sometimes
August 16th, 2015 12:57pm
This is so normal, it happens when you are so in love and you get a feeling that she will be your soulmate forever, it is not a bad thing, it happens to everyone
November 8th, 2015 12:21pm
Just be yourself. If you act as if your some else then she will accept the guy your pretending to be in an effort to be like more by here you have to live out this illusion you created which cause a lot of stress and more lies . Let her see your true colors so there won't be any surprises in the future. Just take a breath and be slow and steady the world isn't moving as fast as you think and I'm sure her thoughts isn't fast either. So, perhaps your thinking too fast or thinking a head to avoid a situation.
November 17th, 2015 2:32am
Probably you nervous because you can lost her and this worry you a lot . So you can talk wiht her about this
December 11th, 2015 1:02pm
thats something you need to think about for yourself, when is it that you feel nervous? what does she do that makes you feel nervous?
December 12th, 2015 2:19pm
It could be because you don't feel secure around her; maybe you feel she is 'out of your league.' This feeling will surely pass at some point if you have a healthy relationship.