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Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 12th, 2015 3:21pm
Because she makes you happy and you want to be perfect for her. Being nervous is good, because it means you love her.
MiraculousShiny62
December 15th, 2015 5:15pm
The nervousness comes from the fear that you may not be liked by your girlfriend. The feeling is quite normal and should pass once you and your girlfriend have established a good communication pattern. Communication is the single most ingredient to a successful relationship. Simply telling someone how you feel relieves much of the nervousness between you. Telling her you are nervous will open up the discussion. In all likelihood, she may be as nervous as you are.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:50pm
Maybe she was a friend for so long and now you're dating it feel different so you don't know how to act
clh2os
December 17th, 2015 6:36am
There are many reasons. Often, we can be nervous around our partner because we are vunerable. When our hearts get involved, it opens us up to new feelings--good and bad. Learn to enjoy the ride!
JoeMarlo
December 17th, 2015 6:38am
It could be based around a sense of commitment or you could worry about embarrassing yourself in front of them and losing your connection or getting laughed at, both of which are highly unlikely if the girl is kindhearted and likes you for you.
MrRoboticWrites
December 17th, 2015 1:28pm
It could be any number of things. It might be nervous excitement, you might be nervous that you'll do something to mess it up. You might want to think of all the reasons that might make you nervous about her.
ashbradbury42
December 17th, 2015 10:56pm
I think you're nervous around your girlfriend because you love/like her and maybe that's new for you.
SmileMitten
December 17th, 2015 11:23pm
Nervousness is pretty natural, especially if you haven't been with her for a long time. The nervousness stems from feelings of self-consciousness or doubt. "Just be yourself" is easier said than done. If you're close enough to your girlfriend you can talk to her about the anxiety. Sometimes just admitting it helps to make it go away. Anxiety and secrets are things that just get worse the more you try to push them away. Good luck!!
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 12:05pm
It can be just because you love her and you may feel scared because if you do something wrong she may got offended.
rainyLight38
December 20th, 2015 10:54am
Probably because you want to look good for her and you want to impress her. You don't want her to think you're dumb or weak. Because you want to make the best impression you possibly can, you get nervous around your girlfriend
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 12:04pm
Sometimes I felt as if what I felt bad about myself would make her feel distracted from the love I gave. I was very unsettled with concept of dating online. The nerve to say who I was became the nervousness of not wanting a girlfriend. As who a girlfriend is to me in sexuality, it limited my vow to live with my heart. As today lives, I keep in contact with how I was affected and mentally prepare myself with hope.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 4:32pm
There are several possible reasons. More than likely it is because you are not yet comfortable around her. If this is a new relationship I guess this is normal. However, if it is somebody you have been together with for a while it could be because she is unpleasant to be around.
AnnaWalker
December 23rd, 2015 4:17am
Being nervous is a normal thing with relationships. You aren't strange for it. However if you think it's a problem, it's okay to talk to her about it. With time you'll learn to be comfortable with her :)
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 9:28am
Maybe because you're afraid of doing/saying something stupid that'll make her not love you anymore.
sankara7
December 23rd, 2015 10:42am
It is not for me to say that. Tell me, are you always nervous? is often or sometimes, and how nervous..
iouty
December 23rd, 2015 3:04pm
You are nervous around your girlfriend, because you are worried you might say or do the wrong thing.
StormyStorms
December 24th, 2015 9:59am
This is someone your looking to be your best around. You want her to think the highest of you and its natural for you to be nervous. Be yourself.
squeek
December 25th, 2015 8:31am
It might be because you really care about her and are afraid of saying something that will upset her
originalLion57
December 25th, 2015 5:46pm
Perhaps it's a new relationship, it's natural to feel nervous around someone you like that way and you want to impress them and make them care for you deeply and maybe you're the type of person who feels nervous often, it's okay to feel that way. Try to do some breathing exercises when you feel your heart beating faster and stronger so the nervousness doesn't take over.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2015 7:09pm
It happens to some people, mostly when someone is insecure, because you are scared to do something wrong I guess, you always wanna be perfect for that person because you are scared that she leaves you.
royalSun94
December 26th, 2015 6:15am
She might be mirroring my moods and is waiting for me to snap out of the nervouseness. We all have to recognize not everytime is going to be happy. In order to get to happy we must go through the sadness first.
goldfinch25
December 27th, 2015 4:29am
I would need more information but generally speaking when you (in general) are nervous around someone then it means that you have expectations that you worry she will not meet or you are afraid that she has expectations that you cannot meet. This can be said for anything and not just for relationships. The best action to do is to reflect on any past instances that caused you to be nervous.
Chevellewalker
December 27th, 2015 10:51am
It could be due to a number of reasons one that you live her and u don't want to hurt her. It also could be many other things.
sworkerpplegictaranahanif
December 27th, 2015 11:47am
Try gaining confidence and vbe calm when ur ariund. Try noticing what she says and what body language she is having. Ur nervous coz u r alwaz cautious about urself and worried about her reaction. But dont think like that. Rather be confident and very calm. Listen to her first and then speak and act But dont be a dumb and have ur own tone. Lip it simple 😉
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 6:25pm
You might be shy to show who you really are to them but you should just be your self. If your not being your self then it's not worth it.
calmLove29
December 27th, 2015 11:59pm
because you care about her opinion, relax if she really cares about you, she won't judge you.
CT95
December 30th, 2015 2:04am
Depends on why you are nervous. Could just be that sweet nervousness you get when you're in love, or you might just be scared and very cautious about the things you say and do.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2015 6:45pm
If your nervous it could just mean you really like her nothing to worry about, but you do need to get over this is you want to grow in the relationship.
salomons
December 31st, 2015 8:39am
Maybe you want to be the best person you can be around your girlfriend and that takes a lot of effort. Just relax and be yourself.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2015 5:09pm
You could really like her and want everything to be perfect for her and so you get nervous that you're going to mess something up - try to relax, I'm sure you're doing great!