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Why am I so nervous around my boyfriend?

178 Answers
Last Updated: 05/03/2020 at 10:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
June 12th, 2016 6:58pm
That's because you haven't told this to him that you are nervous! Try sharing your state of mind with him and tell him that you are nervous. This will lighten your heart and you will start experiencing a less nervous time with him around :)
June 16th, 2016 12:21am
People can feel nervous around their boyfriends because they are non-stop worrying about what he will think about them.
June 24th, 2016 10:18am
A partner is an important person in our lives typically. They can have a major impact on how we view ourselves. Sometimes we can be a bit unsure or fearful of looking bad or being judged. Sometimes we just struggle with confidence. It probably depends on the situation. If you explain more, maybe we can come up with ideas why or maybe one of the ones I mentioned makes sense to you?
July 1st, 2016 9:34pm
because you care. Because his opinion is important to you, you subconsciously get in your head which triggers a bunch of neurotransmitters to prance around in nervous anxiety when you feel they probably shouldn't. However, nervousness is normal, and it's really only aggravated when it's considered a problem. Don't think of it like that. The more time you give yourself to feel comfortable around him, the more likely it will be for you to see that feeling fade away. Trust that your body is providing you valid emotions, that need to be cherished themselves. It's more than okay to feel uneasy at times... For in my experience... most of human emotion is comprised of such. Good Luck.
July 10th, 2016 8:45am
It could be because you love him. Don't worry, those nerves are normal and will probably go away after a while but not ever completely but just to the point where you won't recognize it anymore.
July 10th, 2016 8:53pm
Being nervous around your boyfriend is ok in some situations, but if you're afraid for your safety contact someone! If you are feeling like someone will hurt your mentally of physically there could be an issue!
July 11th, 2016 8:22pm
it could be he is ignoring your needs, He's dominant as far as the relationship goes so you don't feel like you have any control.
July 15th, 2016 10:14pm
Do you feel any pressure to somehow please your boyfriend whenever you're around him, that you may not feel comfortable with? You could address some questions to yourself on what it may be, whether that being if you feel like he has any expectations and/or if something has happened which has made you feel like you're not on the same page. Hope this helps.
July 17th, 2016 8:31pm
This could be anything. It could be your feelings towards him make you react in a nervous manner. If I were you, I'd record how I feel around him and see if it's positive or negative nerves.
July 23rd, 2016 1:19pm
If the relationship is still fresh I guess it's pretty normal to feel nervous, above all because we all want to make a good impression and make things work properly + those first butterflies that come with love can get us pretty emotional. If this happens for a while now the reason might more or less be the same with some variations in intensity and direction, but there's also the possibility of him being a bit too demanding or critical and making you thus feel like you "need" to give more.
July 27th, 2016 12:43pm
if it's a new relationship it's just butterflies, it's normal. If it has been a while since you guys have been dating then it may mean that you feel intimidated by him and maybe he expects you to behave in a certain manner, so hence.
August 10th, 2016 7:31pm
There may be an underlying issue here.. are you usually a nervous person? Are you nervous around men in particular? Is he an angry person? Has he been violent towards anyone before? There is many questions and theories as to why you're nervous around him but this is something you should talk about with him to solve together.
January 8th, 2017 5:17am
Do you think that it's more an issue of trust, or one of self-esteem? Perhaps, you are nervous around your boyfriend because you are afraid of being judged for opening up to him and for being emotionally vulnerable. That is understandable, especially if you have, in the past, been hurt/criticized in previous relationships. Overtime, you may find that, as you get to know your boyfriend, you are able to trust him and become more confident being your true self around him. Only you know your situation better than we do, though!
February 25th, 2017 7:49pm
difference in vibration. which is given by different states of mind keyword is difference the more the number of mini differences between you two, the more stress/nervousness it's natural and it should be a barometer for all of us because we can lie to ourselves and others but this barometer never lies also, get used to close your eyes and try to appreciate the distance between you and you boyfriend. if you two are on the same page, the distance should vary around few meters to tens of meters but if you appreciate that distance is big (like km), then too many differences (and lies count as differences, lies could also be there) make it a habit to appreciate distance not only with your boyfriend you can feel a distance of km with someone who is physically near you and you can feel 0 meters between you and someone who is phyiscally on the side of the globe. timespace is weird
March 9th, 2017 2:11pm
There could be many reasons. However, being nervous around anyone probably means something else is going on in your head. It could be a number of reasons but usually it may mean feelings of worry or uncertainty. You should consider what you two do together or talk about. I'd suggest looking at trying something new and going from there. It never hurts to keep things interesting :)
April 19th, 2017 6:43pm
It sounds like there are past experiences that are influencing your current experience with your boyfriend. I know that in the past when I've felt nervous around my partner or even a man that I fancy it is due to feelings of concern around rejection, them becoming angry with me or even something like them feeling unhappy. I hope that helps!
May 6th, 2017 3:01pm
It's natural to feel nervous around someone that you care about. I'm going through it myself; just being around someone that means so much to you is nerve-racking. It's so easy to critique yourself and try to make yourself look perfect in their eyes, or to fear that you may lose their respect. The most important thing to remember, however - is that they're your boyfriend for a reason. They adore you just as much as you adore them, and every moment you spend together only deepens your bond. Open up to your boyfriend. Let him know how you're feeling, and discuss it with him. You'll find that your worries and nervousness is only temporary. :)
August 2nd, 2017 8:50am
Sometimes people do not know the reason why they are nervous around the person that they are in relationship with. There are actually various reasons to the nervous feeling. The most common reason is that they are afraid if they do some mistakes in acting which can let the partner down or upset. The solution to this matter is trust. When you trust your partner that you can act as yourself around him and he being okay, you'll feel just comfortable with him and the comfort helps to reduce your nervousness.
August 10th, 2017 2:24am
Are you afraid that you'll do something wrong and he'll break up with you? That's a common concern, especially with new relationships. If you find yourself feeling nervous when you're with him, just try to breathe and relax. Maybe even have a conversation with him about it and try to figure out why you're nervous in the first place!
August 19th, 2017 1:10am
Why are you so nervous is a question you should ask yourself. Maybe you should of never made it official if you was not fully comfortable. Or maybe it's butterflies and it's normal
October 8th, 2017 6:37pm
You may feel as if you are not good enough for him, or have a fear that he will dislike you if you act normal. It also could be because you're falling in love, or because you like him so much that you become unable to focus, shaky, etc. You have to decide how you feel in order to determine what is happening to you.
November 5th, 2017 10:00pm
You may be nervous around your boyfriend because your just beginning your relationship and you want to make a good impression on the other hand you may be nervous around him because he has mistreated you in some way
November 15th, 2017 7:04pm
Because either he makes you feel like you have never felt before or you are insecure about yourself around him.
November 16th, 2017 2:05pm
Maybe you are scared he will hurt you or leave you, be annoyed at something you say or do, or maybe you are scared of doing the opposite to him...
November 17th, 2017 5:22pm
You may be feeling anxiety around him, especially if it is a new relationship. Try communicating your feelings to him and see if he is willing to do something or change something about the situation to help you feel better!
November 23rd, 2017 2:05pm
there could be several reason for it ... is it shyness that makes you nervous ? or the fear of doing something wrong... the fear of losing him... the fear of being judged... or a mix of some reasons ...
November 24th, 2017 10:06am
Perhaps he puts pressure on you or you don't feel comfortable around him. It's important to know that you do not have to be perfect around your partner, just be yourself!
December 6th, 2017 5:47am
Because you probably like so much you're worried about how you're acting around him and what he will think.
December 30th, 2017 10:17am
Because his acceptance is important to you so you want things to be "just right" that add to the sense of nervousness
January 3rd, 2018 7:57am
You want to impress him I assume. That's normal but worry too much over leaving a good impression, there are many other people in the world who would love you for you so don't change yourself for him.