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Why am I so nervous around my boyfriend?

187 Answers
Last Updated: 07/09/2020 at 9:02am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Compassionatenurse03
January 3rd, 2018 7:57am
You want to impress him I assume. That's normal but worry too much over leaving a good impression, there are many other people in the world who would love you for you so don't change yourself for him.
CyanGrace2
January 19th, 2018 1:46am
I felt the same way for a while. I know what you are going through. The best way to get through it is to realize they like you for who you are and you are allowed to be yourself!
Anonymous
February 4th, 2018 1:49am
You are possibly afraid he will leave you, maybe you fear being alone, it's possible that you have had some bad experiences in the past and it's always in the back of your mind.
Anj0806
February 7th, 2018 6:38pm
Because you like him! Depending on what type of nervous it is, you could be nervous around him because you don't want to make a bad move and risk your relationship.
MoonlitHaze
February 15th, 2018 6:12pm
Nervousness around a partner usually stems from a place of insecurity and lack of connection or openness between the people. You may feel that you will do something wrong to lose his love, or that you don't feel safe to be your true self.
Brittany8013
February 21st, 2018 1:22am
There are many reasons you could feel anxious around your significant other. perhaps they have said something to make you doubt yourself, or perhaps there is something in the back of your mind causing these feelings to arise subconciously. Maybe you feel so strongly for him that you are unsure how to interpret these emotions, so they are coming out in an anxious feeling.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 8:54am
Take baby steps in a relationship. It’s normal to feel nervous around your boyfriend and maybe you should tell him how you feel
TakeMyHand13
March 8th, 2018 11:56am
Perhaps this is due to not feeling 100% comfortable with them yet. It takes time, especially if the relationship is new. Spending more time together will help this. In new relationships we try very hard to seem attractive to the other person. However, the best thing to do is to relax and be yourself.
Molot3140
March 14th, 2018 6:33pm
Anxiety comes as a natural thing to us when we are trying our best. Perhaps you like this person so much that you want to give this person your best impression and the feeling that you get is that of walking on eggshells when you are around him.
MrGrief
March 22nd, 2018 2:11am
Maybe because you are expecting something from him, and you don't want that to be yours in particular situations.
Wolfie3735
March 31st, 2018 3:05am
You might be nervous around your boyfriend because either you aren’t ready to be in a relationship yet, or you think that he’s moving too fast for you.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2018 9:34am
Inferiority complex, maybe. The wish to be being liked always and not facing his reactions. You may think negative for urself or that relation.
Anonymous
December 1st, 2019 8:15pm
there could be several reasons. if you're new in a relationship then it could just be that you're still trying to adjust into something that may be a little unfamiliar. if it has been a couple of months, it may be a little more difficult to answer this question. if you're nervous about how he thinks you are looking, then that may be problematic. in a healthy relationship, your boyfriend could recognize that you are beautiful inside and outside. so at this point, if you are worried about physical appearance, that may be a little problematic regarding your relationship.
lifekeepsgoin7
June 10th, 2016 7:19pm
maybe because your expectations are way too high and rather being yourself, you keep trying to fit into the frame, your boyfriend expects you in to.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 11:12pm
There are many reasons. It can be difficult to keep up with a relationship. Maybe you are nervous because you don't know him completely or you think he will leave you. Does that sound like what's going on?
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:03pm
You might be nervous around your boyfriend as you are insecure or you've done something wrong and you feel guilty.
blitzEmpathy
July 30th, 2016 12:48pm
If it's a new relationship in which you do not know each other so well, then it's probably because you love him so much and you're afraid of blowing it while with him. No one wants the person they love to think ill of them.
Musicl0vr
July 31st, 2016 3:27am
If there is no known reason to be nervous (i.e: signs of abuse) you may just have a love bug! Especially in new relationships, jitters from your significant other are often a sign you are still excited about your connection! :)
scenicTea81
August 13th, 2016 6:45am
Anxiety around a love one, especially in a more recent relationship, is completely normal. My boyfriend and I would hardly even look at each other. It just proves that you care for your significant other, and do ot want to pressure them.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 2:57pm
If you're nervous around your boyfriend then there's something wrong. You should be comfortable around your boyfriend. He will eventually become the other part of you :)
believe222
August 25th, 2016 6:37pm
It might because, your just scared because , you don't want to lose him and you might feel happy and that's why your so nervous .
AwakeAndReady
August 31st, 2016 12:09pm
Any bad experience that is linked to your boyfriend, rather closely (eg, he has threatened you) or loosely (eg, he is male and you have had bad experiences with men before) can lead to an association in your head, which your mind takes as a reason for you to be scared of him. A personal example of this is that I have had negative experiences in social situations which has lead to me developing social anxiety
IntuitiveDrops
August 31st, 2016 12:16pm
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells or can´t do anything right? Sometimes those feelings occur in abusive relationships.
SillyGenie
September 18th, 2016 5:24am
I think we get nervous whenever anything precious is involved in the picture....something that matters to us...it's sweet that you do....
Mikzwax
September 23rd, 2016 11:02am
because you love him and you want to give your best to him. you dont want to ruin anything because you want him to feel lucky for choosing you to be his girlfriend
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2016 10:26pm
Nervousness in relationships often happens because the fear of rejection, which is a normal feeling that everyone feels due to evolutionary effects on behavior and normal social anxiety (as opposed to a disorder). I don't know enough about your situation to say why, but you will have to compare what you were like with him before and what you are like with him now to find where the change happened and what happened around that time to cause the anxiety that you are feeling.
Anonymous
September 28th, 2016 4:57pm
Is here something he is doing to have you feeling this way? Is it how he talks ? Does he control? Ask yourself these questions ask yourself why? And then sit with him and tell him about how you feel good this helps
ForgivingOurselves1984
October 9th, 2016 12:45pm
I felt so nervous with my wife during our first two years because i believed that I did not deserve to have such a high caliber of women as my girlfriend. Thus was my failure to let go of the guilt of my past mistakes. I felt unworthy of her love
wonderfullLight93
October 16th, 2016 9:24am
probably because you are thinking of him a different person than you are. I believe there is no need to feel this way and will get over it if you change your perspective. And after all he is your boyfriend, you can always talk to him about how you feel and both can come up with effective solution.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2016 3:14pm
It could be your gut/instinct telling you something is wrong with the relationship. Never ignore that feeling.