Moderated by
Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
I felt so nervous with my wife during our first two years because i believed that I did not deserve to have such a high caliber of women as my girlfriend. Thus was my failure to let go of the guilt of my past mistakes. I felt unworthy of her love
probably because you are thinking of him a different person than you are. I believe there is no need to feel this way and will get over it if you change your perspective. And after all he is your boyfriend, you can always talk to him about how you feel and both can come up with effective solution.
Anonymous
October 21st, 2016 3:14pm
It could be your gut/instinct telling you something is wrong with the relationship. Never ignore that feeling.
Well, there can be many reasons! A big reason is that, as humans, we all want to be socially accepted, especially by someone that we're close to. A lot of people struggle to let their guard down because they don't want their significant other seeing who they really are - perhaps they fear that their SO won't like what they see and will end the relationship.
Nervousness around loved ones could also stem from anxiety involving standards of perfection or never hurting someone else's feelings. It's hard to accept that we may hurt the people that we love. However, this doesn't mean that we don't love freely - instead, we should love freely and, when we hurt someone, apologize and be there fore them. Emotional pain is unavoidable in life. Accepting this makes letting your guard down a lot easier.
It could be a sense of newness from the relationship, being focused on his impression of you, a number of things. But it's important to ask questions! Ask him if things are okay in the relationship. Communication is what makes things last.
It is possible that you feel nervous around him because he's important to you and when people are important to us we want to make the best impression. That is a lot of pressure to put on ourselves and can potentially make us really nervous.
It may be the type of nervous that is good; the butterflies you might get because you love him so much. But if it's a bad type of nervous it may be because he is acting in a way that puts you under stress or scares you. If your boyfriend is doing that to you, please consider your safety and contact someone who knows about things like this.
Anonymous
January 12th, 2017 10:25pm
I am nervous around my boyfriend and we've been together for over four months. Sometimes we worry not because anything is bad, but sometimes we still wan to impress them like it's the first date or first time meeting them. Overtime you won't be so nervous around them because you two will be fully comfortable with each other, but don't worry too much on the whole thing.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2017 5:16pm
It's normal to be nervous around people you like! You want things to go well so it can be scary, especially at the beginning, to relax and just be yourself around your significant other.
That's a great question to ask yourself. Are you communicating your feelings to him? Check in with each other and let him know how you are feeling.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 9:06pm
You are the expert on you, but a lot of people feel as if they have to impress their lovers. Remember that you are your own person, good luck with your journey.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2018 3:31pm
Maybe you're not sure what is ok to do or say, and what isn't. In my experience, the nerves also come from having social anxiety, or even a fear of somehow embarrassing yourself. Take a deep breath.
Maybe you are not comfortable around him yet. Sit down and write a list of the reasons why you think you are.
Anonymous
April 13th, 2018 12:28am
Need a bit more info here. Is it a new relationship? That can be intimidating, but gets easier with time. Is he doing something that makes you uncomfortable? That is a red flag, you need to be open and talk.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2018 9:38pm
Maybe it's a good nervous or that your no used to the relationship yet but if you've been in the relationship a while it may be something he does or you may feel pressure about something in your relationship which you shouldnt.
Seeing a biggest part of your life is choosing your life partner because a parent carry u a maximum of 25 years later Ur life partner is the one who carry u in arms till the death so try to be so free with him if u couldn't tell him try to interact..
There may be multiple reasons for feeling nervous around a partner 1. If he is a relatively new boyfriend you might just need to get to know each other better. Take the time to learn more about him, and tell him more about yourself and you should begin to feel a lot more comfortable around him. 2. He may make you feel inadequate. If your boyfriend makes you feel as though you should be nervous, by making you feel that you should compete for his attention or that you are not worthy in any way, you should not take this lightly. Ultimately, try to assess what the nervousness you feel around him is associated with, in order to determine whether the cause is healthy or not.
Is it a new relationship? if so that would be normal. If not, ask yourself what is making you nervous specifically. Also, communicate with your boyfriend. Communication is key to a successful healthy relationship.
Im also nervous and looking for answers. Its not that i dont like him, its just we've never been alone for a long time and i don't want it to get awkward.
Your reason might not be the same as mine, but what I find is that I’m super nervous around my boyfriend because I don’t want to embarass myself or do anything that would make him judge me or think less of me. Sometimes it gets so bad that I dont even talk to him at all! This can create fights and arguments and maybe even breakups.
So my advice to myself and others is suck it up, tough love. Hes you’re boyfriend he loves you. He won’t judge you. The reason you get nervous is because you just like him SO much!!
But you have to talk to him and get over being nervous.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 11:13pm
Has your boyfriend ever done anything that could trigger you to feel nervous around him, such as shouting at you or physical abuse?
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 3:17am
Can you tell me more about what makes you feel nervous around your boyfriend? Are you saying that you feel fearful, or more like you feel self-conscious?
There are many reasons for feeling nervous, evaluating both yours and his personality’s is a great way to understand why you feel these nerves, possibly due to you feeling anxious, worried or new to a certain situation or him acting odd, awkward or scary
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 9:34pm
You could feel like you are in an unsafe situation, or that you have to do certain things for him that you feel you are not completing.
Perhaps you are worried about being the best version of yourself so he continues to like you. But if you are in a relationship with him he likes you for you. Try to be yourself around him more and more, and the nerves will disappear.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 1:26pm
Maybe it's a new relationship~ The beginning is always awkward but you're learn to get used to and even appreciate it!
Maybe cause you really like him and don't want to mess up or do something silly. Maybe you can talk to him on this and share how you are feeling about this. That way you have his support and both of you can work on this together. :)
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 5:55pm
Maybe if you’ve just established your relationship you’re scared of saying something wrong or scaring him off in some way, or if you’ve been in the relationship for a while you might think he’s getting bored of you or he’ll break up with you and you’re nervous due to one of those feelings
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 9:48pm
You must like them a lot! You're scared of doing something wrong or embarrassing yourself in front of them :P
There are various reasons for people to feel anxious around their partners. It could be trauma in romantic relations from the past. It could be that the partner can be high-strung/unappreciative/condescending. Or it can just be the newness of a relationship and there's a lot of getting used to. Relationships are hard, and communication is the key. :)
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