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Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

304 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2022 at 9:01pm
Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
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Top Rated Answers
DarkPiT23
November 27th, 2020 2:45pm
Because when you get comfortable with someone or trust them u know you can be yourself unlike in the crowds u are scared of embarrassment, and You are probably an introvert and this is normal. Many people (introverts) are not inclined to deal with big and noisy crowds. They go for quiet places or certain people, and they even need some time alone every now and then. The fear of crowds or Enochlophobia is known by different names such as Ochlophobia and Demophobia. ... Enochlophobia is closely related to Agoraphobia (which is the fear of and desire to avoid situations wherein one believes s/he may be subjected to incapacitation, humiliation etc).
Anonymous
December 16th, 2020 7:55pm
Social situations involving lots of people can sometimes be intimidating. With a lot of people present, it can feel overwhelming because there are many people with many different perspectives, which can sometimes make us feel more self-conscious about self-expression than when we are only with one friend. This is because, one-on-one, it can be easier to explain yourself and your feelings knowing you'll have the time and the forum in which to explain yourself fully if there is a complex subject or a misunderstanding. Crowds can sometimes tend to cater to more confident and charismatic individuals, which can sometimes lead to people who are more reserved, introspective, or introverted feeling slightly shy or less involved. Some people also simply prefer close one-on-one connections because they are easier to manage, tend to be more emotionally intimate, and lend themselves to better understanding of the people involved.
Brightriver37
December 17th, 2020 7:47pm
That is Social Anxiety, I have it too being in big crowds seems scary you don't want to embarrass yourself, with less people there is less people to be scared of, and with a friend you can trust them more I completely get this I get scared to do lots of things in front of crowds and because I have this I believe you have Social Anxiety as well many people have it and it isn't something you should feel ashamed of, but you can get past it by trying your best to put yourself out there more!
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2021 11:48pm
Hi there! It sounds like what your experiencing is a common symptom of social anxiety. Being shy is a common thing, especially around a crowd you might not know. It's your brain trying to protect you from saying what you might feel is the wrong thing. Being around one friend wouldnt stir this reaction out of you, because you both know and might be comfortable around them. Dealing with big crowds is naturally an intimidating thing, so its understandable as to why youre feeling this way!. Maybe try being around a friend/companion, anyone who makes you feel more comfortable during these situations. The extra-person often gives a sense of security
JoyfulSunset
February 6th, 2021 4:56pm
There could be many different reasons why you’re shy around big crowds. When you’re with one person it can be a little bit more intimate and you can feel more safe. When you’re talking to one person you feel heard and you’re able to speak back and have a cup proper conversation. In big crowds it can become overwhelming with noises people hustling and bustling And overhearing peoples conversation can be overwhelming that you might feel that you can’t participate. If you took a step back and looked and saw that a big crowd is just many people also feeling this way usually. It may help you through your shyness.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2021 12:03pm
I'm also in that same boat-- I do not do well with crowds myself. I thrive best in smaller groups. It could be the energy of the larger crowds is overwhelming and thus cause sensory overload. At least that's what happens for me. I find that I prefer a smaller circle of people in order to feel safer and more comfortable. Knowing that, I try to keep to situations in which I know I won't be overwhelmed and then in cases I cannot avoid crowds, do my best to minimize the time or find ways to push through best i can
Anonymous
February 28th, 2021 2:24am
This is not unusual at all! Big crowds are filled with many people who you don't know and who don't understand your personality or characteristics. It makes natural sense that you will feel more comfortable with one friend who understands you well and who you have spent a lot of time around. The more time you spend around someone, the more comfortable you will tend to be around them. When you are in a big crowd, try to enter that crowd with the mindset that you are probably not going to interact with these people again, so you can be yourself without fear of judgement.
ReachoutHua2593
April 7th, 2021 3:37pm
It is okay to be shy in big crowds. It usually occur in introverts. You are just improving your values and comfort areas. It's really okay and you don't have to feel guilty for this according to my experiences. Introverts like to spend time alone and they're shy when they meet new people. They usually get used to it when you meet them more and more. It is okay to be shy in big crowds. It usually occur in introverts. You are just improving your values and comfort areas. It's really okay and you don't have to feel guilty for this according to my experiences. Introverts like to spend time alone and they're shy when they meet new people. They usually get used to it when you meet them more and more.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2021 7:21am
It is very normal to feel this way. We often feel overwhelmed when we are surrounded by so many people we may or may not know. On the contrary, one friend would be more relaxed. I would recommend listening to yourself and finding out what your boundaries are. If being shy around big crowds is something you would like to overcome, you should aim to become more confident in yourself. Focus on yourself. Find what it is that is making you shy. That way, you can target these aspects. Assessing these aspects is helpful to make you comfortable, or not shy, in big crowds.
laneylistening
April 29th, 2021 3:03pm
This happens to me too! You are probably comfortable with that friend and have anxiety around people you don't know very well... very normal, but if it is affecting your everyday life, I would suggest seeing a therapist or doctor! There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. Going to the doctor and seeing a therapist helped me so so much. My anxiety was so bad I would have breakdowns before entering a restaurant or going to church, partied, etc. If you are experiencing severe anxiety, get help! If it is just more about being uncomfortable, work on different mental exersises or hobbies. Some of this comes with age and expereince too. Sending light :)
Anonymous
May 27th, 2021 4:54pm
It is hard to say. Let us break down it a bit. When we listen to someone one to one, we listen to the person, try to understand what that person meant, and if the need is we speak. On the contrary, when we are in front of a group or big crowd, we could be bombarded with words and ideas. We might not be able to respond to them well, or what if our argument sounds stupid? Or what if we are misunderstood? The fear of making a fool of ourselves makes us shy in front of big crowds. ideas to come out of it could be slowly increasing the number of people we converse with if one person tries talking in front of two and slowly in front of a group. Also, try to make peace with the fact that we will commit mistakes and we might be considered stupid but it will not be the end of the world, so the best it is to face our fears and walk forward.
rhs101
June 22nd, 2021 6:04pm
One friend is sometimes all you need to feel safe and comfortable. Being with a true friend feels like home. When you're around a bunch of strangers, it can make you feel small and unsure, but with a friend, you will feel confident and secure. When I was in my freshman year of college, I felt isolated and didn't want to leave my dorm room. My social anxiety was something that held me back from enjoying my college experience; however, when I met my best friend, I hung out with her almost every day! We have been friends forever!
Anonymous
July 18th, 2021 10:03pm
Feeling like you fit in and are accepted by one person is one thing. since it is just one personality that you need to be compatible with versus an entire crowd of different personalities you may feel a greater expectation of being relatable to everyone versus just that one friend. Introverts are that way too, some people just flourish better in a smaller crowd, its a little more intimate and personal when there isnt a ton of people around allowing you to be yourself rather than spend your time conforming to what you think an entire group may expect of you.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2021 8:41am
It sounds like you could be experiencing some social anxiety. It tends to make you feel anxious and shy around crowds if people, especially busy places. Especially if you find your fine with one friend, you tend to feel a lot comfortable with a single friend than a crowd of people. Personally myself I suffer from social anxiety too, for me it means that I start to get anxious and have panic attacks if I’m in really crowded places especially if there’s lots of people there. Just take every day as it comes and take it slowly going out in crowds until you start gathering enough confidence to do large groups/crowds.
anonymousbro
August 20th, 2021 8:21pm
Hello. I want you to know that a lot of people also feel this way. You feel like that because you trust your friend, and so you can relax and be yourself when with him. Try to forget the big crowds, everybody is going through something, so when you accept that, maybe you can relax and let yourself go. When you realize that everyone have their own battle to fight, it gets easier to deal with larger crowds without feeling shy. Start by trying to deal with smaller crowds, and when making progress, you can pass on to bigger ones. Im sure it will make it easier to deal with!
AA2527
September 10th, 2021 4:06pm
I guess, in my experience, I have felt much better with a friend around in big crowds because I feel like I looked less alone and would always have someone to talk to and thus look and feel less awkward. Also, with a friend around to talk to, I have felt less focused on other people, what they're doing, how they're coming across, how I'm coming across in comparison to them, and how I must be being viewed by them. Also, it's just nice to feel less alone, like you have someone by your side whether it's fun or not.
rxgdxll
September 29th, 2021 9:47pm
Anxiety could be a likely cause. It can make you hate being in big crowds although you feel okay around a friend. Usually being around someone you trust and feel comfortable with will keep your anxiety from coming up as bad. Large crowd, especially if you don’t know the people in it, can drive someone‘s anxieties you the wall because they’re surrounded by people they don’t know and can’t as well control what will happen. It’s common for people to get shy or nervous in big crowds like this.
kira968
November 7th, 2021 11:46am
It is possible that you have social anxiety, but it is also possible that you're just plainly scared of being with too many people because you might say something wrong or embarrass yourself. You're probably just more comfortable with one friend because there aren't so many people looking at you, so there are more people who could notice things you don't want them to notice about you. Of course, you know yourself the best, so I can't give you the best advice, although I'd recommend you to look up "social anxiety" on the internet and maybe connect with a therapist so you can get a proper diagnosis.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2021 3:27am
I have very similar experiences with this. For me it has to do with safety, when I'm alone I'm not sure if I can protect myself in any potentially dangerous situations, even if that situation is just a stranger talking to me. This has more to do with anxiety but it may also apply to you. When I'm with one friend, it gives me a feeling of protection, like they are there and can support me if I need it. I could always look to them in times of distress or confusion, which addresses a lot of my fears of big crowds.
lightbulbasaur
December 10th, 2021 12:46am
With a friend in real time, you know you're being listened to and understood, and, importantly, seen for who you are. In a crowd, it's much easier to see faces as anonymous, and easier for people to make assumptions because there's not the same personal connection. It can be scary to be in a crowd - you feel that all eyes are on you. Ironically, it can also be an isolating experience. Being nervous in a crowd is absolutely understandable, and it's a fear that's extremely universal. You don't know what to do, because there isn't a natural place to gravitate to. You're a person with so much to give, and people will be able to see the real you. You aren't alone in being nervous in a crowd. It's completely natural. Just do your best, and you wouldn't feel pressure to be perfect in a crowd. When the crowd dissipates, you are still you, and you still have that friend waiting.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2021 4:45pm
It's because you're an introvert and it's totally fine to enjoy with people you're truly comfortable with because with them you can be who you are totally. Sometimes being in a crowd makes us feel separate, feels like we don't fit in and we need to be someone else to fit in but with that one friend with whom we share everything it's easy to be in your own skin, to be who you are. When we don't have to pretend who we are for anyone else because we are not scared of being judged by that one friend we know would understand
chrysalisburst
February 2nd, 2022 2:21am
There can be different reasons why someone might feel more shy around big crowds than with one person. For example, many people who are more introverted by nature feel more comfortable focusing on one person at a time. For other people, a higher level of noise and movement can feel a bit overwhelming. For some, large crowds can cause anxiety that makes it harder to talk and interact. It is possible for us to work on feeling more comfortable in crowds if that is important to a person, but we are all different as far as how we best find connection with others and there is nothing wrong with feeling more comfortable with one instead of many.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2022 2:30pm
Most people are like this because they haven't made a connection with most people in big crowds. You don't know what they are thinking about. With friends, you are able to read them better because you have known them longer, but in a crowd you have no way to tell what these people are actually thinking. And what makes that scary is you think they are thinking about you. Making fun of the way you dressed, how you look, the shoes you wore, etc. The biggest difference between the two groups is that you have a trust in your friend. You know they won't do or say anything that will hurt you, whereas in big crowds, anyone could say anything to you and it wouldn't negatively effect them.
mysticality
February 13th, 2022 7:48pm
Besides the information on the internet that you can find to answer your question, it has a lot to do with your self image and control dynamic. That is to say, we would usually assume that one behaving like that was simply an introvert and seek to place them into a category with all the other descriptions attached to the meaning of the word. However, in most cases the person is not a true introvert if a desire to belong and present themselves to the world exists. In other words, in most cases today the issue stems from a desire to accommodate the world to ourselves in order to feel accepted and validated, and when the realisation that that's impossible hits the consciousness the self starts to retreat and introspect, presenting to the mind all possible qualities that the society perceives as flawed. Therefore to feel more comfortable and at peace with large crowds of people, the foremost goal is to be at peace with oneself and accept yourself as you are. From that point of self acceptance, you will learn to act in either scenarios efficiently.
allnaturalSky4753
February 20th, 2022 1:36am
I find it very overwhelming and overstimulating with all of the noises and different people in crowds. I also do not like all of the conversations going on back and forth. I hear that people with social anxiety can have trouble in crowds, and also people who might have obsessive compulsive disorder who are afraid of being touched and bumped into with crowds. Also people on the autism spectrum might not know what to say around other people in crowds and be unable to pick up on social cues. It can be easier if you are only with one person because you can focus your attention on only one person and you can think and formulate your own thoughts and have responses to conversations. You will have time to reflect back what the other person said, and form your own opinions and have things to share. The environment might make a difference and it can help if the other person is a good listener. I find that being a shy person that it is the quality of the friendship that is more important, rather than how many friends that you have. As you get to know one person, you will open up more and not be so shy.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2022 12:31am
I think it's just a matter of trust! When you're with that one person, you feel good because you can flourish -- you're not worrying about all the other things that might cause you anxiety. In a big crowd, there's lots of stimulus that can distract you or make you worried. I feel the same way a lot of the time, and knowing that I can rely on that one friend is a really good thing to know. I get nervous when I'm in school sometimes, just because I don't know all the people. Having a support group or circle of close friends helps because I always have something to fall back on!
16peacefulBraveheart01
March 18th, 2022 12:34pm
Its okay to become shy kind person it shows that you're kind and simple person, i understand when we're close to someone's then the person isn't afraid to talk.,but its fine to talk with one person if you're not comfortable with others. Try to overcome about this if you wanna do something in future as business person or entrepreneur...You can build your talking skills via try to express thought with parents or relatives to get rid of shyness to talk with people's try exercises to put an effort about shyness...And Don't forget to track your records about what and how Many people you tried to talk with
Vithleem
March 18th, 2022 7:35pm
It is actually very common to feel uneasy when you are dealing with big crowds, so you should not be hard on yourself about that. If you feel comfortable around your friends, that is very positive and you can keep that in mind. To overcome this problem, you could try doing small steps. For instance, you can try to have a conversation with three other persons, the next week with four or five and gradually try to expose yourself to larger groups of people. As long as you try to expose yourself in situations that include social interaction, you will notice difference in the way you handle things!
sweetForest1007
March 25th, 2022 3:41am
I understand your situation, and I believe it’s completely normal. In my personal experience, I am also a shy person around big crowds and sometimes I may even want to be alone instead, while I’m loud and much confident with my friends. Remember that this definitely not a problem, Just remember to be confident in yourself in front of anyone and do not let anyone judge you or let you down! If you are down, remember to take the courage to reach out for support! Our listeners are always here to help you. Thanks for reading have a nice day.
GDog1981
April 1st, 2022 4:00am
I believe it is because you are experiencing social anxiety, you are more comfortable with the one friend because you are familiar with him/her/them and are uncomfortable with people that you have not been friends with yet. It is okay to feel this way, people build up their social tolerance and social battery over time so just keep socializing and eventually you will feel more comfortable in crowds and be more comfortable with yourself in social environments. You are doing great and it will take time. Keep up the great work, we are cheering for you.