Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

271 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2020 at 7:47pm
Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Italy
Moderated by

Anna Pavia, psicologa psychologist counselor

Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 28th, 2018 7:23pm
It is not always easy to be around large crowds feeling very uneasy because of the unexpected things that can indeed happen. When you are with a friend things do seem to be a lot better because you at least have someone that has your back that will help you to stay away from potential dangerous people or even from certain situations that may be developing that you are not aware of. Many times having a friend is indeed a lot of helpful especially if you are very I'm familiar with big crowds. But it's okay to open up a little bit and have a little Fellowship with other people around you. The most important thing is to relax breathe when you feel overwhelmed and pull away if you feel you need to from large crowds.
musicalEnergy94
May 24th, 2018 10:12pm
that just may be what you think, if you are an adult you are not the only one who is shy around crowds, crowds make people feel lost like they will lose something or lose the people who are around you. a lot can go wrong in big crowds, theft, harrassment, you may hear things in a crowd that you think someone is trying to send your way. i am a bit afraid of big crowds i know this because i havn;t been using public transpertation that often. i always think the worst. a big crowd of friends at a cottage having fun is no problem, because i feel comfortable around my friends but when people i don;t know come around i get anxious. one on one with a friend is not as exciting as a big crowd, make it an adventure.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 9:51am
Because you want someone to be there for you to back you up in case something goes wrong, they are like your support and foundation to help you be more confident.
Peaceandlove125
September 13th, 2018 12:13am
The reason is because you're more familiar with your friends. You've been around them for quite some time and they know things about you just like you know things about them. The information learned can go in a number of ways from being personal to deep and dark and so on and so forth. As our relationship grew in this friendship so has your trust. That is why you are able to let your guard down around your friends and be yourself. In big crowds this is different because these are people you do not know and you do not trust so you can't be yourself because they are strangers. In some instances you feel like they may judge you or some other it kind of reflects on how you may feel about yourself, your self identity.
professionalMango92
December 1st, 2018 3:24am
I'm struggling with that too, but I figured out where my source is coming from. When in bigger crowds, we don't really know who those people are. I mean, you could know their names, but you don't know what they think of you, what they're thinking right now, if they're even listening etc. When being with a friend feels totally comfortable and you prove who you are by being yourself. We're different around different people so the way I see it, when in crowds it's just too hard to choose who you want to be, which one of your ''characters'' you want to show them and it frustrates you, yet you can't escape it and that's when the shyness appears.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2019 3:27pm
Perhaps you feel safer in the company of one trusted friend, and large numbers of people, make you feel more anxious, and that can cause you to withdraw. One friend gives you time for equal communication, that is time to talk, and time to listen, and helps you form a better bond. Whereas in crowds, there can be lots of competition to make yourself heard and accepted, very daunting! Even if you know most of them, if some appear to gel together more than you are able, you may feel left out and alone, that can be a very uncomfortable feeling. If you are able to socialise with one friend at a time, and comfortable with that, I would think about sticking to that for social interaction.
lachesis00
March 11th, 2019 11:48am
Have you ever heard of introversion? What you describe fits exactly to the problem of introverted people. The opposite of introversion is extroversion. When you get more energy in a big crowd of people you are extroverted, when you get more energy when you are alone or with only one humen you are normally introverted. You can search on You Tube for videos of introversion, there are very much. Also there is a # on this website. I have the link for you. Here it is: https://www.7cups.com/~introvert I hope I could help you. I wish you best luck. Hope to see you again.
dxphne
March 28th, 2019 9:46am
This could have multiple reasons. It might just be a personality trait that you have, you might be an introvert or you might be kind of shy. You probably get overwhelmed by big groups of people which is very understandable, there's a lot of people out there that experience the same problem. However, it feels really uncomfortable and it makes you feel anxious, it might have to do with anxiety or most likely social anxiety. If you think that might be it, please consider professional help because self-diagnosing isn't the right thing to do, it's important to get a professional's opinion.
GentleLlama
March 30th, 2019 8:23pm
Sometimes big crowds can be overwhelming. Its easy to feel like you're alone in a crowd being judged because a lot of people look around. It's also extremely easy to lose someone you're with in a crowd which can become scary! Big crowds of people can also feel claustrophobic. Being with one friend can be more comfortable because it's less noise and you already know them! Sometimes the noise of everyone talking can be overwhelming as well. It can feel like you can't even hear yourself think. However, with one friend it's easy to avoid the tension of a big crowd and to feel more comfortable to familiarity!
StrawberryJamm
July 7th, 2019 11:46am
It's simple. You are an introvert, just like me. We make up about half of the human race, and without us, our species would be doomed. You may find that although large crowds frighten you, you feel that you are better at actually connecting with your friends 1 on 1 than your extroverted peers. You will find that you are also a lot better at being comfortable being by yourself, and enjoy focusing on independent endeavours. It's perfectly fine to prefer hanging out with smaller, quieter groups of friends, or have 1 on 1 interactions. You can still work on your confidence in large settings if you want, but understand that as an introvert, it will naturally drain you more, and that's okay because you have your own strengths.
darkstatic007
January 3rd, 2020 8:43pm
That's exactly how I am... and I've wondered the same too, very recently I think I figured it out why. It's how comfortable you are with the people. Let's say you are with 5 people, now, you are comfortable with all of them when it's one on one you can be yourself around them without being shy but with all 5 at once you feel shy, its because you dont have the same level of comfortable-ness? around all of them it varies person to person,so its difficult for you. Think about two close friends/siblings/cousins around them you wouldn't feel shy because you feel comfortable around them equal amount of it from both of them.. I hope that helps to understand yourself ...
Anonymous
April 20th, 2020 4:21pm
This trait is really common in people with anxiety or depression, and sometimes people with no mental illness at all. When you're with one friend, it's understandable that you feel safe because they know you well, and they won't judge you for what you say or what you do. When you're in a big crowd, there's a lot of unfamiliar faces and people and that might trigger you to be shy in fear of judgement. Not everyone is comfortable in big crowds, and that's okay. It can be really intimidating to be around tons of people that you don't know.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2020 4:50pm
Big crowds can be intimidating and overwhelming, and it's perfectly understandable that you're shy. You're comfortable with one friend and you feel no reason to be shy, whereas big crowds can bring out the shyness and intimidation. This can can also be mild social anxiety and if it's a group of people you don't know, it makes sense you'd feel shy. Your brain is protecting you and you don't feel as confident versus when you're around things that are familiar. This can be why you're shy in crowds but not with friends, and you're not alone with this. Good luck!
DreamCatcher39
July 9th, 2020 10:01am
Welcome to the world of introverts! It's fine and most of us go through this. It is not easy being an introvert, yes because even though we'd love to have friends, we aspire to have a long-term friendship. Be it with anyone, friends, family, etc. It's weird for us to be open and expressive in crowds but once we're comfortable with people, we're the craziest batch mainly because all the craziness is still locked up inside of us. And, to be honest, it's fine. This only proves that unlike extroverts who are good at the social front, we're good at personal front. again, I'm not saying both couldn't be good at both, but I'm pointing out what happens in general. So, feel okay with the way you are. You've been designed as such dear! Love yourself for it! Pamper yourself and keep that crazy kid inside of you alive at all costs! Hope this helps you and if you'd want to talk anytime just ping me. I'd love to help a fellow introvert! ❤❤ ~Dream.
aShhhley
June 29th, 2015 2:10pm
It's very common to be uncomfortable around big crowds! Personally, I find with one person, you can be heard and you are comfortable with that one person. Around large crowds, it's harder to determine what the outcome of a conversation or a situation will be. It's common to be afraid of being laughed at or judged for things. But honestly, it never happens! Just go out there, have fun, be yourself :)
StrawberryM
August 10th, 2015 3:52am
It sounds like you are experiencing Social Anxiety, you should look this up to be more aware of it, and try talking to someone about it, such as a therapist or family member/friend.
StayStrong152
August 25th, 2015 10:55pm
A crowd is full of strangers and can often times feel suffocating. You should be fine with your friends, that is a good sign because it shows that you are comfortable with them.
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2015 2:23am
It is completely normal. I have the same problem. With a small crowd or even one person I feel very comfortable because it is one on one, but with a big crowd I get very scared.
Blaine62
January 26th, 2016 9:08pm
That is very common. Crowds can be noisy and unpredictable. We can be afraid of being judged by people that we don't know.
Bingster123
June 28th, 2016 7:30pm
You may be scared that someone is going to judge you. Though that shouldn't matter, Just be yourself
Rajnin
July 11th, 2016 8:00pm
because in large crowds they are strangers and anxiety gets the best of you. Around a friend you took the time to get past the anxiety and open up.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2016 1:00am
This feeling you are experiencing is called social anxiety, this does not mean there is something wrong with you! I hope this gets better for you!
Anonymous
August 15th, 2016 5:51am
This happens because you are comfortable with your friend and know he/she most likely wouldn't do anything to harm you. So you put your guard down.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 4:27am
If you're around big crowds, you may feel that you have to surpass everyone present, in a way. You want to impress everyone, or at least not be put down by anyone, and this can be anxiety-inducing for some. For me, it means that I need to realize where I am and take a breather. If you're with one friend, you could be alright because the burden is not so heavy when it's just one pair of eyes on you, especially if you trust this person.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 2:38pm
When you are with a friend you don't have any fear about judgement what it's not true when you are with strangers, making yourself more confident it's important to be more open to strange people,
llauren90
September 14th, 2016 3:22pm
Sometimes people experience anxiety over having small talk. Intimate conversations can feel more comfortable with people who you already know. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone reacts differently to social situations, and it's okay if you don't prefer being large groups. Trying new things is good for you, but you're never required to consistently do things you don't enjoy.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2016 1:17am
Many people are shy when they're around a lot of people but feel more comfortable with just one friend. Maybe it is because you are an introvert by nature and being around a lot of people just doesn't make you as comfortable or maybe you have anxiety. Unless it causes you serious distress don't sweat it. If it does cause you serious distress, it may be a bigger problem and something to seek help for.
djpoetic86
September 17th, 2016 8:03pm
You feel that you are not looking good and everyone is looking you. this can also be because of your introvert nature.
Londonkagura21
September 18th, 2016 3:04am
Anonymity. I believe its the fear of being picked out or stand out from a crowd when you are on your own because it feels like the whole work against you. Whereas a friend is someone you are comfortable with and will feel more at ease.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:08pm
It means your not a big fan of big crowds and that your more comfortable with one person instead of 10 people. which is not bad thing because its whatever you feel which counts.