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Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

271 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2020 at 7:47pm
Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
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Top Rated Answers
February 1st, 2017 1:43am
Perhaps you feel comforted and safe when you know your friend is with you? Or maybe you assume that they'll help start up conversations with people that you don't know? There is also the possibility that you feel less shy because you have your friend to focus your attention on instead of focusing on the big crowds.
February 8th, 2017 6:27pm
It's absolutely normal to feel that way! Generally, being shy in crowded places is linked with the fear of the unknown. Being with a friend gives you a slight boost of confidence in knowing you're not "thrown off the deep end" without anything or anyone to comfort and encourage you as you handle being in a stressful situation.
March 2nd, 2017 10:29pm
Because you usually have trust, sense of friendship and loyalty in that person. Whereas a crowd of strangers could be overwhelming and could make you feel anxious
March 3rd, 2017 7:43pm
A lot of people are intimidated by large crowds, whether it's a social situation like a big party or just a lot of people in one place, like the grocery store at peak shopping time. It's not abnormal to feel this way or prefer one-on-one conversations, but if you feel it's getting in the way of living your life a therapist could work with you on getting more comfortable in busy areas.
March 5th, 2017 9:32pm
I personally can relate to this. I think it is because people tend to feel more comfortable around people that they know, and can feel more insecure and unsure around larger crowds.
March 11th, 2017 2:27pm
Big crowds can be really overwhelming - I can see why you might feel overwhelmed when you're in them. There are lots of aspects of them that can make people feel uncomfortable or shy, such as the noise, the fact that most of the people there are (often) strangers, the constricted feeling they get from being so close to lots of other people, the idea that more people might be looking at them... The list goes on. The point is, when you're with one friend, you don't experience any of that, which could very well be why you get shy in big crowds but not with just one friend.
March 15th, 2017 5:59am
It depends - sometimes it may be because of social anxiety, or because one is not used to social situations. Being around friends may make us confident, and also allow us to keep a conversation in order to block out our surroundings.
March 30th, 2017 11:47pm
Around different people people change, so when your with just one person it's easy to match their personality and such (your body instinctively try's to match their body language). So when your around several people it's hard for your body to adjust to all the different body languages. Plus sometimes when theres several people around it's possible you feel like they are all watching you and judging you. Don't worry they're not, they are minding their own business.
March 31st, 2017 11:14pm
I think it's because you know the person well personally so you're comfortable and perfectly fine doing embarrassing or unbecoming shit in front of them.
April 21st, 2017 4:43am
Large crowds can be hard to tackle, we may begin to feel overwhelmed, flustered or even irritable. Social anxiety can affect anyone, knowing how to cope makes situations like these easier to handle. Take baby steps and don't feel pressured to put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable
April 26th, 2017 1:42am
Sometimes being around big crowds can be more intimidating because you feel like you have more eyes on you and more people paying attention to you and if you say something wrong, more people may notice. Also- talking in crowds with strangers can be intimidating too because you may feel like they'll judge you when they don't even know you. Versus when you're with one friend, you know they are your friend and will accept you as you are and it won't matter what you say or if you stumble on your words.
April 27th, 2017 3:46am
I suffer them same thing! I really really hate going to crowded places and its sucks. But, I know it is not good for me to act that way so I just avoid looking at other people eyes especially boys. I also google on how to boost my confidence. hope that can help you buddy!
May 13th, 2017 12:56pm
I think we all have different comfort levels. Some people can be the exact opposite, feeling more comfort being surrounded by a lot of people but awkward around smaller groups. It can vary person to person. Sometimes we have to push our level of comfort for things like work and school, so it's important to try to learn how to cope with our shyness when we need to, but I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of .
June 3rd, 2017 7:29am
You are probably an introvert. An introverted person often needs time alone to gather energy and may feel uneasy in large groups. I'm an introvert too and big crowds can be confusing for me at times or I'm simply not too active/outspoken in front of them but when I'm with one friend or even three or four I'm totally fine. And it's okay to feel that way.
June 21st, 2017 5:00pm
Big crowds haven't seen you in your difficult times or anything. Your friend has known you for a long time. You're shy around big crowds because you know they do not know you well but you know your friends know a lot more and you're less shy.
July 1st, 2017 11:51pm
You may suffer from social anxiety. You should also talk to a professional about this. It may be medical or it could be psychological. Only someone who is educated and license would know.
July 5th, 2017 5:06pm
Social anxiety is probably the cause of this. In my experience, I am fine talking to my therapist, or a friend, but as soon as you get me in a restaurant or in front of a big crowd, I freeze up and get very shy. You are not alone!
August 10th, 2017 10:39am
Some people are natural introverts, that means they are more comfortable in one-on-one interaction than in bog crowds, and there is nothing wrong with that.
August 12th, 2017 1:55am
it is not uncommon for people to fer large crowds. there is a lot of noise and interactions going on in a large crowd, it overloads your senses.
September 17th, 2017 4:11am
Big crowds can induce anxiety for many people - so you're not alone. Normally, people are calm and comfortable with a trusted friend. You've spent time with them before, you know each other's likes and dislikes, etc. With large crowds, you may feel overwhelmed due to the fact that you do not know anyone, or do not like the attention on yourself, or are unaware of what could happen. Start small if you would like to conquer this! Gradually increase the amount of people you spend time with, and see how you feel. Baby steps! X
November 9th, 2017 2:56am
You don't know the people and you are not on that deep stage of personal information with the people in the group like you are with that one friend. It's all about personal relationship.
November 9th, 2017 8:22am
Because you are an introvert and that's a part of your personality. It can go away slowly but it's nothing to be ashamed of.
November 12th, 2017 10:15pm
Generally in big crowds you are unlikely to know anyone, so when you have a friend with you it can be a comfort to have someone you know and someone who knows you. Friends can be a huge support because of this and could be why you're fine when with one :)
November 15th, 2017 5:26pm
I guess because you know this friend somewhat personally, or enough to consider him/her a friend anyway, you can be more confident and open around them.
November 16th, 2017 1:47am
I'm an introvert too and big crowds can be confusing for me at times or I'm simply not too active/outspoken in front of them but when I'm with one friend or even three or four I'm totally fine. And it's okay to feel that way because it means I'm completely comfortable with my friends but not so comfortable with big crowds.
November 16th, 2017 7:39pm
You're simply ambiverted. I'm ambiverted too. I'm the craziest one between my friends, but when I have to talk in front of people, or I just have to be around them, I'm an anxious mess.
November 19th, 2017 6:46pm
It is possible that you are experiencing some social anxiety, or it just takes you a little longer to become comfortable around people. It is fairly common for people to be bothered by big crowds, as long as it doesn't interfere so much to the point where you feel you are unable to do things that you want or need to do.
November 22nd, 2017 10:18am
Well - Because you know the friend well and not big crowds who are strangers to you. Think about when you remember meeting your friend for the first time and shyness came out!
November 22nd, 2017 7:54pm
Anxiety is something that happens when your brain thinks you're in danger. For me, it is something that happens all of the time but it's less severe when I'm around people I know and love. My brain knows I'm safe with them, so my anxiety doesn't get triggered all that much. So what you're experiencing is normal. Big crowds are probably more likely to make you anxious, even the mere thought of big masses of people scare me. Don't take my word so seriously though, I am definitely not an expert. I'd recommend you to go see a professional if you feel like you're dealing with anxiety, they can help you more than I can, and it really helps.
November 23rd, 2017 2:07pm
maybe it's a kind of agoraphobia ... but i guess it's normal to feel impressed when there is so much people around