Why am I too anxious to talk to my girlfriend after an argument?

It’s normal to feel anxious after an argument. Arguments are supposed to help make you grow along with your relationship. Whenever there is an argument, many emotions, ideas, and problems are addressed in arguments. After an argument, you might wonder how it affects your relationship or wonder how your girlfriend is feeling, which could possibly make you feel anxious. One might also feel anxious because you might not know how to talk to your girlfriend after arguments because things are awkward. In many cases, arguments are uncomfortable after they happen, which might make you feel anxious. It is also very easy to feel anxious because most people just want their relationship to be “normal” and fighting isn’t something someone would look forward to, so it brings a sense of uneasiness which may make you feel anxious.

It’s an ordinary process. Of course, you’d be afraid of losing your girlfriend, but mild arguments are very common in relationships. Of course there is a point to too many arguments in that it becomes abuse. Look up “Signs of gaslighting,” which are manipulation strategies to be aware of to make sure you can trust someone in a relationship. While yes it’s more common for women to be abused in relationships, some more passive men may be abused by more strong willed female abusers, which is often taken less seriously. Statistics after all say that more women have depression, but more men commit suicide. Depression happens less often in men, but when it happens, it tends to be more severe than a woman’s due to the pressure of not being able to express his feelings. It might not be bad enough in a relationship to be abusive, but you don’t have to be completely confident because romance in media portrays the guy always taking care of the girl’s insecurities, not the other way around too. There is no healthy relationship without any mild conflict. Without being honest about what the other disagrees with, the relationship will be then built out of lies and distrust will grow. What is helpful instead is to be able to work through conflict well. Rather than saying “You are (insult!)” try to take turns listening to each other’s point of view, and saying what you genuinely feel, as well as what you want exactly. It’s nagging if your standards can never be achieved, so it’s best to point out exactly what you want. Look for a compromise, where you can both win somehow, and get both of your needs met. Maybe if you can’t now, take turns. Try to acknowledge each other’s point of view by restating what you heard after listening. Feel free to express more of your love regularly by researching the 5 Love Languages. If your girlfriend turns out she doesn’t really like the real you, then maybe this love wasn’t meant to be. Thank you for listening.